M'FINGAL: 

A  MODERN 

EPIC   POEM 

IN 

FOl?R  CANTOS. 


WITH 


EXPLANATORY  NOTES. 


PRINTED   AMD  SOLD  BY  WOODRUFF    9    PERIAM* 

1805. 


University  of  California  •  Berkeley 

Gift  of 
Harriet   &  Edward  Nathan 


PREFACE. 


1  HE  following  Poem  was  first  published  in 
1782,  in  the  state  of  Connecticut,  where  the 
author  was  born,  and  received  his  education, 
and  where  he  now  resides.  It  has  passed 
through  several  impressions  in  this  country,  and 
Great-Britain,  and  has  obtained  universal  ce 
lebrity. 

Tn  1792,  a  splendid  edition,of  it  appearechin 
London,  with  explanatory  notes.  So  far  as 
these  notes  contain  facts,  and  serve  to  eluci 
date  passages,  which  would  be  otherwise  ob 
scure,  they  are  retained  in  this  edition  :  But 
as  that  London  edition  was  published  to  answer 
the  purposes  of  a  party,  and  the  editor  has  ta 
ken  the  liberty  to  misrepresent  the  views  of 
the  author,  the  preface  and  such  of  the  notes 
as  were  inserted  for  that  purpose,  are  here  o- 
mitted.  This  is  done  at  the  request  of  the  au 
thor,  with  whose  permission,  this  edition  is  of 
fered  to  the  American  public, 


THE  notes  in  this  edition  marked  with  in 
verted  commas,  were  inserted  by  the  author  in 
the  first  edition  ;  those  that  are  not  so  marked, 
are  principally  extracted  and  altered  frcm  a 
London  edition)  printed  in  the  year  1792. 


M'FINGAL. 

CANTO   FIRST. 

The  Town -Meet ing,  A.  M. 


WHEN  Yankies,*  skili'd  in  martial  rule, 
First  put  the  British  troops  to  school  ; 
Instructed  them  in  warlike  trade, 
And  new  manoeuvres  of  parade  ; 
The  true  war-dance  of  Yankey-reels, 
And  manual  exercise  of  heels ; 
Made  them  give  up,  like  saints  complete, 
The  arm  of  flesh,  and  trust  the  feet, 
And  work,  like  Christians  undissembling, 
Salvation  out,  by  fear  and  trembling  ; 

*  Tank'n's,  a  term  formerly  of  derision,    but  now 
merely  of  dUtmction,  given  to  the  people  of  the  four 
rn  states. 


8  M'FINGAL.  , 

Taught  Percy  fashionable  races, 
And  modern  modes  of  Chevy-Chases  :* 
From  Boston,  in  his  best  array, 
Great  'Squire  M'Fingal  took  his  way, 
And,  grac'd  with  ensigns  of  renown, 
Steer* d  homeward  to  his  native  town. 

His  high  descent  our  heralds  trace 
To  f  Ossian's  fam'd  Fingalian  race  ; 
For  though  their  name  some  part  may  lack, 
Old  Fingal  spelt  it  with  a  Mac  ; 
Which  great  M'Pherson,  with  submission, 
We  hope  will  add  the  next  edition. 

His  fathers  flourish'd  in  the  Highlands 
Of  Scotia's  fog-benighted  islands  ; 
Whence  gain'd  our  'Squire  two  gifts  by  right, 
Rebellion  and  the  second-sight. 
Of  these  the  first,  in  ancient  days, 
Had  gain'd  the  noblest  palms  of  praise, 

*  Lord  Percy  commanded  the  party  that  was  first 
oppofed  by  the  Americans  at  Lexington.  This  al 
lusion  to  the  family  renown  of  Chevy.  Chace  arose 
from  the  precipitate  manner  of  his  quitting  the  field 
of  battle,  and  returning  to  Boston. 

f  "  See  Fingal,  an  ancient  epic  poem,  published 
as  the  work  of  Ossian,-^  Caledonian  bard,  of  the 
third  century,  by  James  M'Pherfon,  a  Scotch  min 
isterial  fcribbler." 


M'FINGAL,  & 

'Gainst  kings  stood  forth,  and  many  acrown'd 
With  terror  of  its  might  confounded  ;      [head 
Till  rose  a  king  with  patent  charm 
His  foes  by  goodness  to  disarm  ; 
Whom  ev'ry  Scot  and  Jacobite 
Straight  fell  in  love  .with— at  first  sight; 
Whose  gj-acious  speech,  with  aid  of  pensions, 
Hush'd  down  all  murmurs  of  dissensions, 
And  with  the  sound  of  potent  metal, 
Brought  all  their  blust'ring  swarms  to  settle  ; 
Who  rain'd  his  ministerial  mannas, 
Till  loud  sedition  sung  hosannas  ; 
The  good  lords-bishops  and  the  kirk 
United  in  the  public  work  ; 
Rebellion  from  the  northern  regions, 
With  Bute  and  Mansfield  swore  allegiance. 
And  all  combin'd  to  raze,  as  nuisance, 
Of  church  and  state,  the  constitutions ; 
Pull  down  the  empire,  on  whose  ruins 
They  meant  to  edify  their  new  ones ; 
Enslave  the  Amer'can  wildernesses, 
And  tear  the  provinces  in  pieces. 
For  these  our  'Squire,  among  the  valiant'st, 
Employed  his  time  and  tools  and  talents ; 
And  in  their  cause,  with  manly  zeal, 
Us'd  his"  first  virtue  to  rebel ; 


lo  M'FINGAL, 

And  found  this  new  rebellion  pleasing 
As  his  old  king-destroying  treason. 

Nbr  less  avaii'd  his  optic  sleight, 
And  Scottish  gift  of  second-sight. 
No  ancient  sybil,  fam'd  in  Thyme, 
.  Saw  deeper  in  the  womb  of  time  ; 
No  block  in  old  Dodona's  grove, 
Could  ever  more  orac'lar  prove. 
Nor  only  saw  he  all  that  was, 
But  much  that  never  came  to  pass  ; 
Whereby  all  prophets  far  out-went  he, 
Though  former  days  produced  a  plenty  : 
For  any  man  with  half  an  eye, 
What  stands  before  him  may  espy; 
But  optics  sharp  it  needs,  I  ween, 
To  see  what  is  not  to  be  seen. 
As  in  the  days  of  ancient  fame 
Prophets  and  poets  were  the  same, 
And  all  the  praise  that  poets  gain 
Is  but  for  what  th*  invent  and  feign  : 
So  g-un'd  our  'Squire  his  fame  by  seeing 
Such  things  as  never  would  have  being. 
Whence  he  for  oracles  was  grown 
The  very  tripod*  of  his  town. 

*  "  The  tripod  was  a  facred   three  legged  stool, 
from  which  the  ancient  priests  uttered  their  oracles," 


{ 1 

Gazettes  no  sooner  rose  a  lie  in, 
But  straight  he  fell  to  prophesying  ; 
Made  dreadful  slaughter  in  his  course, 
Overthrew  provincials,  foot  and  horse  ; 
Brought  armies  o'er  by  sudden  pressings, 
Of  Hanoverians,  Swiss,  and  Hessians  j 
Feasted  with  blood  his  Sccottish  clan, 
And  hang'd  all  rebels  to  a  man ; 
Divided  their  estates  and  pelf, 
And  took  a  goodly  share  himself.* 
All  this,  with  spirit  ehergetic, 
He  did  by  second-sight  prophetic. 

Thus  stor'd  with  intellectual  riches, 
Skill'd  was  our  'Squire  in  making  speeches, 
Where  strength  of  brains  united  centres 
With  strength  of  lungs  surpassing  Stentor's. 
But  as  some  muskets  so  contrive  it, 
As  oft  to  miss  the  mark  they  diive  at, 
And  though  well  aim'd  at  duck  or  plover, 
Bear  wide,  and  kick  their  owners  over; 

*  This  prophety,  like  fome  of  the  prayers  of  Ho. 
mer's  heroes,  was  but  half  accomplished.  The  Han- 
everlans  &c.  indeed,  came  over,  and  mTich  were  they 
feasted  with  blood  ;  but  the  hanging  of  all  the  re 
bels,  and  the  dividing  their  estates,  remain  unfulfilled, 
This,  however,  cannot  be  the  fault  of  our  hero,  but 
rather  the  British  minister,  who  left  off  the  war  be, 
fore  the  work  was  completed. 


12  M'FlNGAL. 

So  far'd  our  'Squire,  whose  reasoning  toil 
Would  often  on  himself  .recoil, 
And  so  much  'Jnjur'd  more  his  side, 
The  stronger  arg'mentshe  apply'd  ; 
As  old  war-elephants,  dismay'd, 
Trode  down  the  troops  they  came  to  aid, 
And  hurt  their  own  side  more  in  battle 
Than  less  and  ordinary  cattle, 
Yet  at  town  meetings  ev'ry  chief 
Pinn'd  faith  on  great  M'Fingal's  sleeve, 
And,  as  he  motioned  all  by  rote 
Rais'd  sympathetic 'hands  to  vote. 

The  town,  our  hero's  scene  of  action, 
Had  long  been  torn  by  feuds  of  faction  j 
And  as  each  party's  strength  prevails, 
It  turn'd  up  difPrent  heads  or  tails; 
With  constant  rattling,  in  a  trice 
Show'd  various  sides,  as  oft  as  dice  : 
As  that  fam'd  weaver,*  wife  t'  Ulysses, 
By  night  each  day's  work  pick'd  in  pieces, 
And  though  she  stoutly  did  bestir  her, 
Its  finishing  was  ne'er  the  nearer: 
So  did  this  town,  with  stedfast  zeal, 
Weave  cobwebs  for  the  public  weal, 

*  Homer's  Odyssey,, 


M'FINGAL.  13 

-  Which  when  completed,  or  before, 
A  second  vote  in  pieces  tore. 

They  met,  made  speeches  full  long-winded* 
Resolv'd,  protested,  and  rescinded  ; 
Addresses  sign'd,  then  chose  committees, 

*  To  stop  all  drfaking  of  bohea-teas;* 
With  winds  of  doctrine  veer'd  about, 

'   And  turn'd  all  whig-committees  out. 
Meanwhile  our  hero,  as  their  head, 
In  pomp  the  tory  faction  led, 
Still  following,  as  the  'Squire  shouid  please, 
Successive  on,  like  riles  of  geese. 

And  now  the  town  was  summon'd  greetings 
To  grand  parading  of  town-meeting ; 
A  show,  that  strangers  might  appal, 
As  Rome's  grave  senate  did  the  Gaul. 

*  One  of  the  (abject  s  of  dispute,  which  brought 
on  the  war,  was  a  tax  laid  upon  tea,  on  its  importa 
tion  into  the  then  colonies.  And,  therefore^  one  of 
the  weapons  of  opposition,  made  ufe  of  by  the  peo 
ple,  was  a  univerfal  agreement,  not  to  drink  any  tea 
until  the  tax  should  be  taken  off.  The -committees, 
here  referred  to,  .were  cal  ed  committees  of  safety  ; 
part  of  their  business  was  to  watch  over  the  execu 
tion  of  the  voluntary  regulations  made  by  the  peo 
ple  in  the  feveral  towns, 

B 


14  M'FIKGAL. 

High  o'er  the  rout  on  pulpit-stairs,* 
Like  den  of  thieves  in  house  of  pray'r?, 
(That  house,  which,  loth  a  rule  to  break, 
Serv'd  Heav'n  but  one  day  in  the  week,   . 
Open  the  rest  for  all  supplies 
Of  news  and  politics  and  lies,) 
Stood  forth  the  constable,  and  bore         t 
His  staff,  like  Merc'ry's  wand  of  yore, 
Wav'd  potent  round,  the  peace  to  keep, 
As  that  laid  dead  men's  souls  to  sleep. 
Above,  and  nearth'  Hermetic  staff, 
The  -f  moderator's  upper  half 
In  grandeur  o'er  the  cushion  bow'd, 
Like  Sol  half  seen  behind  a  cloud. 
Beneath  stood  voters  of  all  colors, 
Whigs,  tories,  orators  and  bawlers. 
With  ev'ry  tongue  in  either  faction, 
Prepar'd  like  minute-men,  Jfor  action  ; 

*In  country  towns  the  town-meeting  is  generally 
held  in  the  church. 

•^Moderator  is  the  name  commonly  given  to  the 
chairman  or  fpeaker  of  the  town-meeting.  He  is 
^ere  fcated  in  the  pulpit. 

^Minute-men  were  that  part  of  the  militia  of  our 
country  who,  being  drafted  vand  enrolled  by  thena- 
felves,  were  prepared  to  march  at  a  rninute'swarmng* 
wherever  the  public  fafety  required. 


15 

Where  truth  and  falsehood,  wrong  and  right, 
Draw  all  their  legions  out  to  fight ; 
With  equal  uproar,  scarcely  rave 
Opposing  winds  in  ^olus'  cave  ; 
Such  dialogues,  with  earnest  face, 
Held  never  Balaam  with  his  ass. 

With  daring  zeal  and  courage  blest, 
Honorius  first  the  crowd  address'd  ; 
When  now  our  'Squire,  returning  late, 
Arriv'd  to  aid  the  grand  debate, 
With  strange  sour  faces  sat  him  down, 
While  thus  the  orator  went  on  : 

« — For  ages  blest,  thus  Britain  rose, 
The  terror  of  encircling  foes  ; 
Her  heroes  ruPd  the  bloody  plain  ; 
Her  conqu'ring  standard  aw'd  the  main  ; 
The  difPrent  palms  her  triumph's  grace, 
Of  arms  in  war,  of  arts  in  peace  ; 
Unharass'd  by  maternal  care, 
Each  rising  province  flourish'd  fair  ; 
Whose  various  wealth  with  flb'ral  hand; 
By  far  overpaid  the  parent  land. 
But  though  so  bright  h?r  sun  might  shine, 
'Twas  quickly  hasting  to  decline, 


16  M'FINGAL. 

With  feeble, rays,  too  weak  t'  assuage 
The  damps  that  chill  the  eve  of  age. 

"  For  states,  like  men,  are  doom'd  as  well 
,    Th,  infirmities  of  age  to  feel ; 

And  from  their  different  forms  of  empire, 

Are  seiz'd  with  every  deep  distemper. 

Sjme  states  high  fevers  have  made  head  in, 

Which  noughtcould  cure  but  copious  bleeding  ; 

While  others  have  grown  dull  and  dozy, 

Or  fix'd  in  hapless  idiocy  ; 

Or  turn'd  demoniacs,  to  belabor     l' 

Each  peaceful  habitant  and  neighbor; 

Or,  vex'd  with  hypocondriac   fits," 

Have  broke  their  strength,  and  lost  their  wits. 

"Thus  now,  while  hoary  years  prevail, 
Good  mother  Britain  seem'd  to  fail; 
Her  back  bent,  crippled  with  the  weight 
Of  age  and  debts,  and  cares  of  state  : 
For  debts  she  ow'd,  and  those  so  large 
That  twke  her  wealth  could  not  discharge  ; 
And  now  'twas  thought,  so  high  they'd  grown, 
SheM  break,  and  come  upon  the  town  ;* 

*  To  corns  upon  the  town*  that  is,  to  become  a  pub 
lic  charge.  This  remark  will  serve  to  explain  many 
other  allusi  ons  to  town  regulations  in  the  cowieoi 
this  poem, 


M'FINGAL.  x  17 

Her  arms  of  nations  once  the  dread, 

She  scarce  could  lift  above  her  head  ; 

Her  deafenM  ears  ('twas  all  their  hope) 

The  final  trump  perhaps  might  ope, 

So  long  they'd  been  in  stupid  mood, 

Shut  to  the  hearing  of  all  good  ; 

Grim  death  had  put  her  in  his  scroll, 

Down  on  the  execution  roll ; 

And  Gallic  crows,  as  she  grew  weaker, 

Began  to  whet  their  beaks  to  pick  her. 

And  now,  her  pow'rs  decaying  fast, 

Her  grand  climact'ric  had  she  past, 

And  just  like  all  old  women  else, 

Fell  fn  the  vapours  much  by  spells. 

Strange  whimsies  on  her  fancy  struck, 

And  gave  her  brain  a  dismal  shock  ; 

Her  mem'ry  fails, -her  judgement  ends  ; 

She  quite  forgot  her  nearest  friends  ; 

Lost  all  her  former  sense  and  knowledge,     • 

And  fitted  fast  for  Bedlam  college  : 

Of  all  the  pow'rs  she  once  retain'd, 

Conceit  andpride  alone  remain'd. 

As  Eve,  when  falling,  was  so  modest 

To  fancy  she  should  grow  a  goddess ; 

As  madmen,  straw  who  long  have  slept  on, 

B2 


M'FINGAL 

Will  style  them,  Jupiter,  or  Neptune  ; 

So  Britain,  'midst  her  airs  so  flighty, 

Now  took  a  whim  to  be  almighty  j» 

Urg'd  on  to  desp'rate  heights  of  frenzy, 

Affirm'd  her  own  omnipotency  ;* 

Would  rather  ruin  all  her  race, 

Than  bate  supremacy  an  ace  ; 

Assuni'd  all  rights  divine,  as  grown 
The  church's  head,  like  good  pope  Joan  ; 
Swore  all  the  world  should  bow  and  skip 
To  her  almighty  goody  ship  ; 
Anath'matiz'd  each  unbeliever, 
And  vow'd  to  live  and  rule  forever. 
Her  servants  humour'd  every  whim, 
And  own'd  at  once  her  power  supreme, 
Her  follies  pleas'd  in  all  their  stages, 
For  sake  of  legacies  and  wages; 
In  \Stepherts  Chapel  then  in  state  too 
Sat  up  her  golden  calf  to  pray  to, 

Proclaim'^  its  pow'r  and  right  divine, 
And.call'd  for  worship  at  its  shrine, 
And  for  poor  heretics  to  burn  us 
Bade  North  prepare  his  fiery  furnace  ; 

*See  the  act,  declaring  that  the   King  and  Par- 
Jiamen  hsd  "  a  right  to  bind  ihe  Colonies  In  all  cases 
whatsoever'39 
f  "  The  Parliamenuhouse  is  called  by  that  name.' 


M'FINGAL.  19 

Struck  bargains  with  the  Romish  churches, 

Infallibility  to  purchase  ; 

Sat  wide  for  popery  the  door, 

Made  friends  with  Babel's  scarlet  whore, 

Join'd  both  the  matrons  firm  in  clan  ; 

No  sisters  made  a  better  span, 

No  wonder  then,  ere  this  was  over, 

That  she  should  make  her  children  suffer. 

She  first,  without  pretence  of  reason, 

Ciaim'd  right  whatever  we  had  to  seize  OH  ; 

And  with  determined  resolution 

To  put  her  claims  in  execution, 

Sent  fire  and  sword,  and  call'd  it,  lenity, 

Starv'd  us,  and  christen'd  it,  humanity. 

For  she,  heRcase  grown  desperater, 

Mistook  the  plainest  things  in  nature; 

Had  lost  all  use  of  eyes  or  wits  ; 

Took  slav'ry  for  the  bill  of  rights; 

Trembled  at  whigs  and  deem'd  them  foes, 

And  stopp'd  at  loyalty  her  nose  ;   - 

StyPd  her  own  children  bratS  and  caitiffs, 

And  knew"  not  us  from  th'  Indian  natives. 

"  What  though  with  supplicating  prayer 
We  begg'd  our  lives  and  goods  she'd  spare*; 
Not  vainer  vows,  with  sillier  call, 
Elijah's  prophets  rais'd  to  Baal  ;  W 


to  M'FINGAL. 

A  worshipped  stock,  of  god  or  goddess, 
Had  better  heard  and  understood  us. 
So  once  Egyptians  at  the  Nile 
Ador'd  their  guardian  crocodile, 
Who  heard  them  first  with  kindest  ear, 
And  ate  them  to  reward  their  pray'r  ; 
And  could  he  talk,  as  kings  can  do, 
Had  made  as  gracious  speeches  too. 

"  Thus,  spite  of  pray'rs  her  schemes  pur- 
She  still  went  on  to  work  our  ruin  j       [suing, 
Annull'd  our  charters  of  releases, 
And  tore  our  title  deeds  in  pieces ; 
Then  sign'd  her  warrants  of  ejection, 
And  gallows  rais'd  to  stretch  our  necks  on : 
And  on  these  errands  sent  in  rage, 
Her  bailiff,  and  her  hangman,  Gage,* 
And  at  his  heels,  like  dogs  to  bait  us, 
Dispatch'd  her  posse  comitatus. 

*General  Gage,  commander  in  chief  of  the  kingi 
troops  in  North.* America,  was  appointed  in  1773 
governor  and  vice-admiral  of  Massachusetts,  in  the 
room  of  Hutchinson,  who  had  been  the  most  active 
agent  of  the  minister,  in  fomenting  the  disputes 
which  brought  on  the  war. 

The  character  and  conduct  of  Gage  is  described 
with  great  juftice  in  the  subsequent  part  of  this  speech 
of  Honorius- 


M'FINGAL.  .  21 

"No state  e?er  chose  a  fitter  person 
To  carry  such  a  silly  farce  on. 
As  heathen  gods  in  ancient  days 
Receiv'd  at  second  hand  their  praise, 
Stood  imag'd  forth  in  stones  and  stocks, 
And  deified  in  barbers'  blocks; 
So  Gage  was  chose  to  represent 
Th'  omnipotence  of  parli'ment. 
And  as  old  heroes  gain'd,  by  shifts, 
From  gods  (as  poets  tel!)  their  gifts  ; 
Our  gen'ral,  as  his  actions  show, 
Gain'd  like  assistance  from  below, 
By  Satan  grac'd  with  full  supplies, 
From  all  his  magazine  of  lies: 
Yet  could  his  practice  ne'er  impart 
The  wit,  to  tell  a  lie  with  art : 
Those  lies  alone  are  formidable, 
Where  artful  truth  is  mix'd  with  fable  , 
But  Gage  has  bungled  oft  so  vilely, 
No  soul  could  credit  lies  so  silly  , 
Outwent  all  faith  and  stretch'd  beyond 
Credulity's  extremest  bound. 
Whence  plain  it  seems,  though  Satan  once 
O'erlook'd  with  scorn  each  brainless  dunce, 
And,  blund'ring  brutes  in  Eden  shunning, 
Chose  out  the  serpent  for  his  cunning  j 
Of  late  he  is  not  half  so  nice, 


22  M'FINGAL. 

Nor  pick'd  assistants,  'cause  they're  wise. 
For  had  he  stood  upon  perfection, 
His  present  friends  had  lost  th'  election, 
And  far'd  as  hard  in  the  proceeding, 
As  owls  and  asses  did  in  Eden. 

"  Yet  fools  are  often  dang'rous  en'mies, 
As  meanest  reptiles  are  most  ven'mous  ; 
Nor  e'er  could  Gage,  by  craft  or  prowess, 
Have  done  a  whit  more  mischief  to  us, 
Since  he  began  th'  unnatural  war, 
The  work  his  master  sent  him  for. 

"  And  are  there  in  this  free-born  land, 
Among  ourselves,  a  venal  band, 
A  dastard  race,  who  l9nghave  sold 
Their  souls  and  consciences  for  gold  ; 
Who  wish  to  stab  their  country's  vitals, 
If  they  might  heir  surviving  titles  , 
With  joy  behold  our  mischief  brewing, 
Insult  and  triumph  in  our  ruin  ? 
Priests,  who,  if  Satan  should  set  dawn 
To  make  a  bible  of  his  own, 
Would  gladly  for  the  sake  of  mitres, 
Turn  his  inspir'd  and  sacred  writers  ; 
Lawyers,  who,  should  he  wish  to  prove 
His  title  t'  his  old  seat  above, 


M'FINGAL.  2$ 

Would,  if  his  cause  he'd  give  'em  fees  in, 

Bring  writs  of  entry  sur  disseisin, 

Plead  for  him  boldly  at  the  session. 

And  hope  to  put  him  in  possession  ; 

Merchants,  who,  for  his  kindly  aid, 

Would  make  him  partner  in  their  trade, 

Hang  out  their  signs  with  goodly  show. 

Inscribed  with  "Beelzebub  and  Co." 

And  Judges,  who  would  list  his  pages, 

For  proper  liveries  and  wages; 

And  who  as  humble  cringe  and  bow 

To  all  his  mortal  servants  now  ; 

There  are  ;  and  shame,  with  pointing  gestures, 

Marks  out  the  addressers  and  protesters  ;* 

Whom  following  down  the  stream  of  fate, 

Contempts  ineffable  await, 

And  public  infamy,  forlorn, 

Dread  hate,  and  everlasting  scorn." 

As  thus  he  spake,  our  'Squire  M'Fingal 
Gave  his  partizans  a  signal. 

*The  ADDRESSERS  were  those  who  addressed 
general  Gage  with  expressions  of  gratitude  and  at 
tachment,  on  his  arrival  with  a  fleet  and  army  to 
fubduethe  colonies.  The  PROTESTERS  were  those 
who  protested  against  the  measures  of  the  first  con 
gress,  and  the  general  resolutions  of  the  country. 


24  M'FINCAL, 

Not  quicker  roll'd  the  waves  to  land, 

When  Moses  wav'd  his  potent  wand, 

Nor  with  more  uproar,  than  the  Tories 

Sat  up  a  gen'ral  route  in  chorus; 

Laugh'd,  hiss'd,  hemm'd,  murmur'd,  groan'd* 

and  jeer'd : 

Honorius  now  could  scarce  be  hear'd. 
Our  muse  amid  th*  increasing  roar, 
Could  not  distinguish  one  word  more; 
Though  she  sat  by,  in  firm  record 
To  take  in  short-hand  every  word  ; 
As  ancient  muses  wont,  to  whom 
Old  bards  for  depositions  come  ; 
Who  must  have  writ 'em;  for  how  else 
Could  they  each  speech  'verbatim  tell  us  ? 
And  though  some  readers  of  romances 
Are  apt  to  strain  their  tort'ur'd  fancies, 
And  doubt  when  lovers  all  alone 
Their  sad  soliloquesdo  groan, 
Grieve  many  a  page  with  no  one  near  'em, 
And  nought  but  rocks  and  groves  to  hear  *em> 
What  sprite  infernal  could  have  tattled 
And  told  the  authors  all  they  prattled  ; 
Whence  some  weak  minds  have  made  objec 
tion, 
That  what  they  scribbled  must  be  fiction  : 


M'FINGATL.  25 

*Tis  false,  for  while  the  lovers  spoke, 

The  muse  was  by  with  table-book  ; 

And,  lest  some  blunder  might  ensue, 

Echo  stood  clerk,  and  kept  the  cue. 

And  though  the  speech  ben't  worth  a  groat, 

As  usual,  'tisn't  the  author's  fault, 

But  error  merely  of  the  prater, 

Who  should  have  talk'd  to  th'  purpose  better, 

Which  full  excuse,  my  critic  brothers 

May  help  me  out  as  well  as  others ; 

And  'tis  design'd  though  here  it  lurk, 

To  serve  as  preface  to  this  work. 

So  let  it  be — for  now  our 'Squire 

No  longer  could  contain  his  ire; 

And  rising,  'midst  applauding  tories, 

Thus  vented  wrath  upon  Honorius. 

Quoth  he,  "'Tiswond'rous  what  strange  stuff 
Your  whigs'  heads  are  compounded  of; 
Which  force  of  logic  cannot  pierce, 
Nor  syllogistic  carte  &  tierce, 
Nor  weight  of  scripture  or  of  reason 
Suffice  to  make  the  least  impression. 
Not  heeding  what  ye  rais'd  contest  on, 
Ye  prate,  and  beg  or  steal  the  question  ; 
C 


26  M'FINGAL. 

And  when  your  boasted  arguings  fail, 
Straight  leave  all  reasoning  off,   to  rail. 
Have  not  our  high-church  clergy  made  it 
Appear  from 'scriptures,  which  ye  credit, 
That  righldhnne  from  heaven  was  lent 
To  kings,  that  is,  the  parliament, 
Their  subjects  to  oppress  and  tcaze, 
And  serve  the  devil  when  they  please  ? 
Did  they  not  write,  and  pray,  and  preach, 
And  torture  all  the  parts  of  speech  ; 
About  rebellion  make  a  pother, 
From  one  en^  of  the.  land  to  th*  other? 
And  yet  gain'd  fewer  pros'lyte  whigs, 
Than  old  *  St.  Anth'ny  'mongst  the  pigs  ; 
And  chang'd  not  half  so  many  vicious 
As  Austin,  when"  he  preach'd  to  fishes  ; 
Who  throng'd  to  hear,  the  legend  tells, 
Were  edified  and  wagg'd  their  tails; 
But  scarce  you'd  prove  it,  if  you  tried, 
That  e'er  one  whig  was  edified. 
Have  ye  not  heard  from  f  parson  Walter 
Much  dire  presage  of  many  a  halter  ? 

*  *'  The  stories  of  St.  Anthony  and  his  pig,  arid 
St.  Austin's  preaching  to  fishes,  are  told  in  the  po 
pish  legends." 

f  "  High- church  clergyman,  at  Boston, 


M'FINGAL.  "2*7 

What  warnings  had  ye  of  your  duty 
From  our  old  rev'rend  *  Sam.  Auchmuty  ? 
From  priests  of  all  degrees  and  metres, 
T'  our  fag-end  man  poor  f  parson  Peters  ? 
Have  not  our  Cooper  and  our  Seabury 
Sung  hymns,  like  Barak  and  old  Deborah  ; 
Prov'd  all  intrigues  to  set  you  free, 
Rebellion  'gainst  the  powers  that  be  \ 
Brought  over  many  a  scripture  text 
That  us'd  to  wiak.at  rebel  sects : 
Coax'd  wayward  ones  to  favor  regents, 
Or  paraphraz'd  them  to  obedience  ; 
Prov'd  ev'ry  king,  ev'n  those  confest 
Horns  of  th'  Apocalyptic  beast, 
And  sprouting  from  its  noddles  seven, 
Ordain'd,  as  bishops  are,  by  Heaven, 
(For  reasons  sim'lar,  we  are  told, 
That  Tophet  was  ordain'd  of  old  ;) 
By  this"  lay  ordination  valid 
Becomes  all  sanctified  and  hallow'd, 

*  "  High-churclv  clergyman,  at  New- York.  " 
•j-  '*  Peters,  a  tory  clergyman  in  Connecticut,  who 
after  making  himself  detestable  by  his  inimical  con 
duct,  absconded  from  the  contempt,  rather  than  the 
vengeance  of  his  countrymen,  and  fled  to  England, 
to  make  complaints  against'  that  colony  :  Cooper, 
a  writer,  poet,  and 'satirist  of  the  same  stamp,  pitrs-i- 
dent  of  the  college  at  New -York  ;  Seabury,  a  cler 
gyman  of  the  same  province," 


18  M'FINGAL. 

Takes  patent  out  when  Heav'n  has  sign'd  it, 
And  starts  up  straight  the  Lord's  anointed  ; 
Like  extreme  unction,  that  can  cleanse 
Each  penitent  from  deadly  sins, 
Mak-p  them  run  glib,  when  oil'd  by  priest, 
The  heavenly  road,  like  wheels  new  greas'd, 
Serve  them  like  shoe-ball,  for  defences 
'Gainst  wear  and  tear  of  consciences ; 
So  king's  anointment  cleans  by  times, 
Like  fuller's  earth,  all  spots  of  crimes; 
For  future  knav'ries  gives  commissions, 
Like  papists  sinning  under  license, 
For  heaven  ordain'd  the  origin, 
Divines  declare,  of  pain  and  sin  ; 
Prove  such  great  good  they  both  have  done  us, 
Kind  mercy  'twas  they  came  upon  us  : 
For  without  pain  and  sin  and  folly, 
Man  ne'er  were  blest,  or  wise,  or  holy  ; 
And  we  should  *  thank  the  Lord  'tis  so, 
As  authors  grave  wrote  long  ago. 
Now  heav'n  its  issues  never  brings 
Without  the  means,  and  these  are  kings  ; 
An'd  he  who  blames  when  they  announce  ills, 
Would  counteract  the  eternal  councils 

*  "  See  the  modern  metaphysical  divinity.' 


M'FINGAL.  .          29 

As  when  the  Jews,  a  murm'ring  race, 
By^constaht  grumblings  fell  from  grace, 
Heav'n  taught  them  first  to  know  tlveir  distance* 
By  famine,  slav'ry,  and  Philistines  ; 
When  these  could  no  repentence  bring, 
In  wrath  it  sent  them  last  a  king, 
So  nineteen,  'tis  believ'd,  in  twenty  . 
Of  modern  kings,  for  plagues  are  sent  ye; 
'Nor  can  your  cavillers  pretend, 
But  that  they  answer  well  their  end. 
Tis  yours  to  yield  to  their  command, 
As  rods  in  Providence's  hand  : 
And  if  it  means  to  send  you  pain, 
You  turn  your  noses  up  in  vain  : 
Your  only  way's  in  peace  to  bear  it, 
And  make  necessity  a  merit. 
Hence  sure  perdition  must  await 
The  man  who  rises 'gainst  the  state, 
Who  meets  at  once  the  damning  sentence, 
Without  one  loop-hole  for  repentance  ; 
E'en  though  he  gain'd  the  .royal  see, 
And  rank  among  the  pow'rs  thai  be : 
For  hell  is  theirs,  the  scripture  shows, 
Whoe'er  the  powers  that  be  oppose, 
And  all  those  pow'rs  (l^m  clear  that  'tis  set) 
Are  damn' d  -forever,  ex  officio* 
C2 


So  M'FINGAL. 

"  Thus  far  our  clergy  ;  but  'tis  true, 
We  lack'd  not  earthly  reas'ners  too. 
Had  I  the  *  poet's  brazen  lungs, 
As  sound-board  to  his  hundred  tongues, 
I  could  not  half  the  scribblers  muster 
That  swarm'd  round  Rivingtonf  in  cluster; 
Assemblies,  councilmen,  forsooth  ; 
Brush,  Cooper,  Wilkins,  Chandler,  Booth  ^ 
Yet  all  their  arguments  and  sap'ence 
You  did  not  value  at  three  half-pence. 
Did  not  our  MassachusettensisJ 
For  your  conviction  strain  his  senses  ? 
Scrawl  every  moment  he  could  spare, 
From  cards  and  barbers  and  the  fair ; 
Show  clear  as  sun  in  noon-day  heavens, 
You  tad  not  feel  a  single  grievance  ; 
Demonstrate  all  your  opposition 
Sprung  from  the  §  eggs  of  foul  sedition  ; 

*  "  Virgil's  JEneid  6th  book,  line  625." 

•)•  The  editor  of  the  Reyal  Gazette  in  New- York; 
a  paper  which  answered  very  well  to  its  title,  it  be 
ing  filled  with  those-  impositions  and  falsehoods, 
which  are  deemed  necessary  to  the  fupport  of  roy 
alty,  in  any  country  where  printing  is  tolerated. 

'£  "  Sec  a  course  of  essays,  under  the  signature  of 
Massachusettensb." 

§  "  Committees  of  correspondence  are  the  foulest 
and  most  venomous  serpents  that  ever  issued  from 
-  the  eggs  of  sedition."  &c.  Massachusettensis. 


M'FINGAL.  SI 

Swear  he  had  seen  the  nest  she  laid  in, 
And  knew  how  long  she  had  been  sitting  ; 
Could  tell  exact  what  strength  of  heat  is 
Required  to  ha  toil  her  out  committees  ; 
What  shapes  they  take,  and  how  much  longer's 
The  space  before  they  grow  t'  a  congress  ? 
New  white-washed  Hutchinson,  and  varnish'd 
Our  Gage,  who'd  got  a  little  tarnish'd  ; 
Made  'em  new  masks  in  time,  no  doubt, 
For  Hutchinson's  was  quite  worn  out; 
And  while  he  muddled  all  his  head, 
You  did  not  heed  a  word  he  said. 
Did  not  our  grave  *  judge  Sewallhit 
The  summit  of  newspaper  wit  ? 
Fili'd  every  leaf  of  every  paper, 
Of  Mills,  and  Hicks,  and  mother  Draper; 
Drew  proclamations,  works  of  toil, 
In  true  sublime,  of  scare-crow  style  ; 
Wrote  farces  too,  'gainst  sons  of  freedom, 
All  for  your  good,  and  none  would  read  'em  • 
Denounc'd  damnation  on  their  fre-nzy, 
Who  died  in  whigimpenitency  ; 

*  "  Attorney-general  of  Massachusetts  Bay,  a 
j'jclge  of  admiralty,  Gage's  chief  advertiser  and 
j>roclamation-maker,  -  author  of  a  farce  called  the  A. 
mericans  Roused,  and  of  a  great  variety  of  essays 
on  the  ministerial  side,  in  the  Boston  newspapers. " 


32  M'FINGAL. 

Affirm' d  that  heav'n  would  lend  us  aid, 

As  all  our  Tory  writers  said  ; 

And  calculated  so  its  kindness, 

He  told  the  moment  when  it  joined  us." 

"  'Twas  then  belike,"  Honorius  cried, 
"  When  you  the  public  fast  defied, 
Refus'd  to  Heav'n  to  raise  a  prayer, 
Because  you'd  no  connections  there  : 
And  since  with  rev'rend  hearts  and  faces, 
To  governors  you'd  made  addresses, 
In  them  who  made  you  tories  seeing 
You  liv'd  and  mov'd,  and  had  your  being, 
Your  humble  vows  you  would  not  breathe 
To  pow'rs  you'4  no  acquaintance  with." 

"  As  for  your  fasts,"  replied  our  'Squire, 
*'  What  circumstance  could  fasts  require  ? 
We,kept  them  not,  but  'twas  no  crime  ; 
We  held  them  merely  loss  of  time  : 
For  what  advantage  firm  and  lasting,. 
Pray,  did  you  ever  get  by  fasting  ? 
And  what  the  gains  that  can  arise 
From  vows  and  off'ringsto  the  skies  ?    • 
Will  heav'n  reward  with  posts  and  fees, 
Or  send  us  tea,  as  consignees,* 

•  Alluding  to  the  famous  cargo  of  tea,  which  wa* 


M*FINGAL.  33 

Give  pensions,  sal'ries,  places,  bribes, 

Or  choose  us  judges,  clerks,  or  scribes? 

Has  it  commissions  in  its  gift, 

Or  cash  to  serve  us  at  a  lift  ? 

Are  acts  of  parliament  there  made, 

To  carry  on  the  placeman's  trade ; 

Or  has  it  pass'd  a  single  bill 

To  let  us  plunder  whom  we  will ; 

And  look  our  list  of  placemen  all  over ; 

Did  heav'n  appoint  our  chief  judge  Oliver, 

Fill  that  high  bench  with  ignoramus  ; 

Or  has  its  councils  by  mandamus  ? 

Who  made  that  wit  of  *  water-gruel, 

A  judge  of  admiralty,  Sewall  ? 

And  were  they  not  mere  earthly  struggles, 

That  rais'd  up  Murray,  say,  and  Ruggles  ? 

Did  heav'n  send  down,  our  pains  tomed'cinc, 

That  old  simplicity  of  Edson  ; 

Or  by  election  pick  out  from  us, 

ThatMarshfield  blund'rer,Nat.  Ray  Thomas? 

Or  had  it  any  hand  in  serving 

A  Loring,  Pepp'rell,  Browne,  or  Erving  ? 

sunk    in   Boston  harbor,   the  coniignees  of  which 
were  the  tools  of  general  Gage. 

*  "  A  proper  emblem  of  his  genius, " 


34  M'FINGAL. 

"  Yet  we've  some  saints,  the  very  thing, 
We'll  put  against  the  best  you'll  bring  : 
For,  can  the  strongest  fancy  paint 
Than  Hutchinson  a  greater  saint  ? 
Was  there  a  parson  us'd  to  pray 
At  times  more  reg'lar  —  twice  a  day  — 
As  folks  exact  have  dinners  got, 
Whether  they've  appetites"  or  not? 
Was  there  a  zealot  more  alarming 
Gainst  public  vice  to  hold  forth  sermon, 
Orfix'd  at  church,  whose  inward  motion 
Roli'd  up  his  eyes  with  more  devotion  ? 
What  puritan  could  ever  pray 
In  godlier  tone  than  tre^s'rer  *  Gray, 
Or  at  town  meetings  speechify'ng, 
Could  utter  more  melodious,  whine, 
And  shut  his  eyes  and  vent  his  moan, 
Like  owl  afflicted  in  the  sun  ? 
Who,  once  sent  home,  his  canting  rival, 
Lord  Dartmouth's  self  might  out-be-drivel. 

"  Have  you  forgot,"  Honorius  cried, 
"  How  your  prime  saint  the  truth 


*  "  Treasurerof  Massachusetts  Bay,  and  one  of 
the  mandamus  council." 

f  The  detection  of  falsehood  in  governor  Hutch- 
jnson,  here  alluded  to,  is  a  curious  little  history.    It- 


M'FINGAL.  35 

Affirm,d  he  never  wrote  a  line, 

Your  chartered  rights  to  undermine  ; 

When  his  own  letters  then  were  by, 

That  prov'd  his  message  all  a  lie  ? 

How  many  promises  he  seaPd 

To  get  the  oppressive  acts  repeal'd  ; 

Yet,  once  arriv'd  on  England's  shore, 

Set  on  the  premier  fo  pass  more  ? 

But  the'se  are  no  defects  we  grant, 

In  a  right  loyal  tory  saint, 

Whose  godlike  virtues  must  with  ease 

Atone  such  venal  crimes  as  these : 

Or  ye  perhaps  in  scripture  s.py 

A  new  commandment,  "  thou  shalt  Ue  ;" 

And  if't  be  so,  (as  who  can  tell  ?) 

There's  no  one,  sure,  ye  keep  so  well." 

Quoth  he, <l  For  lies  and  promise-breaking 
Ye  need  not  be  in  such  a  taking  ; 
For  lying  is,swe  know  and  teach, 
The  highest  privilege  of  speech;. 
The  universal  magna  charta, 
To  which  all  human  race  is  party  ; 
Whence  children  first,  as  David  says, 
Lay  claim  to  't  in  their  earliest  days  ; 

is  told  at  large  in  the  Remembrancer,  published  by 
Alraon,  vol.  i. 


56  M'FINGAL. 

The  only  stratagem  in  war 

Our  gen'rals  have  occasion  for ; 

The  only  freedom  of  the  press 

Our  politicians  need  in  peace  : 

And  'tis  a  shame  you  wish  t*  abridge  us 

Of  these  our  darling  privileges. 

Thank  heav'n,  your  shot  has  miss'd  their  aim, 

For  lying  is  no  sin,  or  shame. 

"  As  men  last  wills  may  change  again, 
Though  drawn  in  name  of  God,  amen  ; 
Besure  they  must  have  much  the  more, 
O'er  promises  as  great  a  pow'r, 
Which,  made  in  haste,  with  small  inspection,* 
So  much  the  more  will  need  correction  ; 
And  when  they've  careless  spoke,   or  penn'd 

'em, 

Have  right  to  look  'em  o'er  and  mend  'em  j 
Revise  their  vows,  or  change  the  text, 
Byway  of  codicil  annex'd, 
Turn  out  a  promise  that  was  base, 
And  put  a  better  in  its  place. 
So  Gage  of  late  agreed,  you  know, 
To  let  the  Boston  people  go; 
Yet  when  he  saw,  'gainst  troops  that  brav'd 

him, 
They  were  the  only  guards  that  sav'd  him, 


M'FINGAL.  37 

Kept  off  that  satan  of  a  Putnam,* 
From  breaking  in  to  maul  and  mutt'n  him  : 
He'd  too  much  wit  such  leagues  t'  observe, 
And  shut  them  in  again  to  starve. 

"  So  Moses  writes,  when  female  Jews 
Made  oaths  and  vows  unfit  for  use, 
Their  parents  then  might  set  them  free 
From  that  consc'entious  tyranny  : 
And  shall  men  feel  that  spir'tual  bondage 
For  ever,  when  they  grow  beyond  age  ; 
Nor  have  pow'r  their  own  oaths  to  change  ? 
I  think  the  tale  were  very  strange. 
Shall  vows  but  bind  the  stout  and  strong, 
And  let  go  women  weak  and  young, 
As  nets  inclose  the  larger  crew, 
And  let  the  smaller  fry  creep  through  ; 
Besides,  the  whigs  have  all  been  set  on, 
The  tories  to  affright  and  threaten, 
Till  Gage,  amidst  his  trembling  tits, 
Has  hardly  kept  him  in  his  wits  ; 
And  though  he  spoke  with  art  and  finesse* 
'Tis  said  beneath  duress  per  minas. 

*  General  Putnam  of  Connecticut,  who  had 
gained  great  reputation,  as  a  partisan  officer,  in  the 
war  before  last,  came  forward  with  activity  iu  the 
beginning  of  the  war  of  independence  ;  but  his  age 
and  infirmities  obliged  him  soon  to  quit  the 
D 


3S  M'FINGAL. 

For  we're  in  peril  of  our  souls 
From  feathers,  tar,  and  lib'rty-poles : 
And  vows  extorted  are  not  binding 
In  law,  and  so  not  worth  the  minding. 
For  we  have  in  this  hurjy-burly 
Sent  offour  conciences  on  furlough  , 
Thrown  our  religion  o'er  in  form, 
Our  ship  to  lighten  in  the  storm. 
Nor  need  we  blush  your  whigs  before, 
If  we've  no  virtu§,  you've  no  more. 

"  Yet  black  with  sins,  would  stain  a  mitre, 
Rail  ye  at  crimes  by  ten  tints  whiter? 
And,  stufF'd  with  choler  atrabilious, 
Insult  us  here  for  peccadilloes? 
While  all  your  vices  run  so  high 
That  mercy  scarce  could  find  supply: 
While,  should  you  offer  to  repent, 
You'd  need  more  fasting  days  than  Lent, 
More  groans  than  haunted  church-yard  valleys, 
And  more  confessions  than  broad-alleys.* 
I'll  show  you  all  at  fitter  time, 
'I'h*  extent  and  greatness  of  your  crime, 

*  Alluding  to  church  dicipline,  where  a  person 
is  obliged  to  stand  in  the  aisle  of  the  church,  called 
the  broad  alley,  name  the  offence  of  which  he  has 
been  guilty,  and  ask  pardon  of  his  brethren. 


M'FINGAL.  39 

And  here  demonstrate  to  your  face, 
Your  want  of  virtue,  as  of  grace, 
Evinc'd  from  topics  old  and  recent: 
But  thus  much  must  suffice  at  present. 
To  the  after  portion  of  the  day, 
I  leave  what  more  remains  to  say  ; 
When  Pve  good  hope  you'll  all  appear, 
More  fitted  and  pepar'd  to  hear, 
And  grieved  for  all  your  vile  demeanour: 
But  now  'tis  time  t'  adjourn  for  dinner.'* 


END  OF  THE  FIRST  CANTO. 


M'FINGAL. 

CANTO    SECOND 

The  Town-Meeting,  P.  M. 


A  HE  sun  who  never  stops  to  dine, 
Two  hours  had  pass'd  the  mid-way  line ; 
And  driving  at  his  usual  rate, 
Lash'd  on  his  downward  car  of  state  ; 
And  now  exph'd  the  short  vacation, 
And  dinner  done  in  epic  fashion  ; 
While  all  the  crew  beneath  the  trees, 
Eat  pocket-pies  or  bread  and  cheese  ; 
Nor  shall  we,  like  old  Homer,  care 
To  versify  the  bill  of  fare. 
For  now  each  party,  feasted  well, 
Throng'd  in>  like  sheep,  at  sound  of  bell, 
With  equal  spirit  took  their  places  ; 
And  meeting  op'd  with  three  O  yesses: 
When  first  the  daring  whigs  t*  oppose, 
Again  the  great  M'Fingal  rose, 
D  2 


£2  M'FINGAL. 

Stretch'd  magisterial  arm  amain, 
And  thus  assum'd  th'  accusing  strain. 

"  Ye  whigs,  attend,  and  hear,  affrighted, 
The  crimes  whereof  ye  stand  indicted  : 
The  sins  and  follies  past  all  compass, 
That  prove  you  guilty,  or  iwn  compos. 
I  leave  the  verdict  to  your  senses, 
And  jury  of  your  "consciences  ; 
Which,  though  they're  neither  good  nor  true, 
Must  yet  convict  you  and  your  crew. 
Ungrateful  sons  !  a  factious  band, 
That  rise  against  your  parent  land  ! 
Ye  viper  race,  that  burst  in  strife, 
The  welcome  womb  that  gave  you  life, 
Tear  with  sharp  fangs  and  forked  tongue, 
Th' indulgent  bowels,  whence  you  sprung  ; 
And  scorn  the  debt  of  obligation, 
You  justly  owe  the  British  nation, 
Which  since  you  cannot  pay,  your  crew 
Affect  to  swear 'twas  never  due. 

"Did  not  the  deeds  of  Englands's  primate* 
First  drive  your  fathers  to  this  climate, 

*  The  persecutions  of  the  English  church  under 
archbishop  .Laud,  are  well  known  to  have  been  the 
the  cause  of  the  peopling  of  New-England. 


M'FINGAL.  4J 

Whom  jails,  and  fines,  and  ev'ry  ill 
Forc'd  to  their  good  against  their  will? 
Ye  owe  to  their  obliging  temper 
The  peopling  your  new-fangled  empire^ 
While  every  British  act  and  cannon 
Stood  forth,  your  causa  sine  qua  non. 
Did  they  not  send  you  charters  o'er,  ' 
And  give  you  lands  you  own'd  before, 
Permit  you  all  to  spill  your  blood, 
And  drive  out  heathen  where  you  could  ; 
On  these  mild  terms,  that,  conquest  won, 
The  realm  you  gain'd  should  be  their  own  ? 
Or  when  of  late,  attack'd  by  those, 
Whom  her  connexion  made  your  foes,* 
Did  they  not  then,  distrest  in  war, 
Send  gen'rals  to  your  help  from  far, 
Whose  aid  you  own'd  in  terms  less  haughty, 
And  thankfully  overpaid  your  quota  ? 
Say,  at  what  period  did  they  grudge 
To  send  you  governor  or  judge, 

*  The  war  of  1775,  between  the  English  and  the 
French,  was  doubtless  excited  by  circumstances 
foreign  to  the  interests  of  the  colonies  which  now 
form  the  United  States.  The  colonies,  however, 
paid  more  than  their  proportion  of  the  expencc,  and 
the  balance  was  repaid  by  the  British  government, 
after  the  war. 


44  M'FINGAL. 

With  all  their  missionary  crew,* 
To  teach  you  law  and  gospel  too  ? 
Brought  o'er  all  felons  in  the  nation, 
To  help  you  on  in  population, 
Proposed  their  bishops  to  surrender, 
And  made  their  priests  a  legal  tender, 
Who  only  ask'd,  in  surplice  clad, 
The  simple  tythe  of  all  you  had  : 
And  now  to  keep  all  knaves  in  awe, 
Have  sent  their  troops  t'  establish  law, 
And  with  gunpowder,  fire,  and  ball, 
Reform  your  people  one  and  all. 
Yet,  when  their  insolence  and  pride 
Have  anger'd  all  the  world  beside, 
When  fear  and  want  at  once  invade, 
Can  you  refuse  to  lend  them  aid  ; 
And  rather  risque  your  heads  in  fight, 
Than  gratefully  throw  in  your  mite  ? 
Can  they  for  debts  make  satisfaction, 
Should  they  dispose  their  realm  by  auction  ; 
And  sell  ofTBritian's  goods  and  land  all 
To  France  and  Spain  by  inch  of  candle  ; 
Shall  good  king  George,  with  want  opprest,  ? 
Insert  his  name  in  bankrupt  list, 

*  The  missionaries  were  clergym?n,  ordained  by 
the  bishop  of -London,  and  settled  in  America. 
Tho-e  in  the  nothr.rn  colonies  were  generally  at 
tached  lo  the  royal  cause. 


M'FINGAL.  45 

And  shut  up  shop,  like  failing  merchant, 
That  fears  the  bailiffs  should  make  search  in't 
With  poverty  shall  princes  strive, 
And  nobles  lack  whereon  to  live; 
Have  they  not  rack'd  their  whole  inventions, 
To  feed  their  brats  on  posts  and  pensions, 
Made  e'en  Scotch  friends  with  taxes  groan, 
And  pick'd  poor  Ireland  to  the  botye; 
Yet  have  on  hand,  as  well  deserving, 
Ten  thousand  bastards  left  for  starving  ? 
And  can  you  now,  with  conscience  clear, 
Refuse  them  an  assylum  here  ? 
Or  not  maintain,  in  manner  fitting, 
These  genuine  sons  of  mother  Britain  ? 
T*  evade  these  crimes  of  blackest  grain, 
You  prate  of  liberty  in  vain, 
And  strive  to  hide  your  vile  designs, 
With  terms  abstruse,  like  school-divines. 

*'  Your  boasted  patriotism  is  scarce, 
Your  country's  love  is  but  a  farce  ; 
And  after  all  the  proofs  you  bring, 
We  toiics  know  thcic's  no  Such  thing ; 
Our  English  writers  of  great  fame 
Prove  public  virtue  but  a  name. 
Hath  not  *  Dalrymple  show'd  in  print, 
And  *  Johnson  too,  there's  nothing  in't? 
*  "Ministerial  pensioners" 


46     .  M'FINGAL. 

Produced  you  demonstration  ample, 
From  others'  and  thei5>own  example, 
That  self  is  still  in  either  faction, 
The  only  principle  of  action  ; 
The  loadstone,  whose  attracting  tether 
Keeps  the  politic  world  together  : 
And,  spite  of  all  your  double-dealing, 
We  tories  know  'tis  so,  by  feeling. 

11  Who  heeds  your  babbling  of  transmitting 
Freedom  to  brats  of  your  begetting, 
Or  will  proceed  as  though  there  were  a  tic, 
Or  obligation  to  posterity  ? 
We  get  'em,  bear  'em,  breed  and  nurse  ; 
What  has  posterity  done  for  us, 
That  we,  lest  they  their  rights  should  lose, 
Should  trust  our  necks  to  gripe  of  noose  ? 

"  And  who  believes  you  will  not  run  ? 
You're  cowards,  every  mother's  son; 
And  should  you  offer  to  deny, 
We've  witnesses  to  prove  it  by. 
Attend  th*  opinion  first,  as  referee, 
Of  your  old  gen'ral,  stout  Sir  JefFery, 
Who  swore  that  with  five  thousand  foot 
Jiefd  rout  you  all,  and,  in  pursuit, 


M'FINGAL.  47 

Run  through  the  land  as  easily, 

As  camel  through  a  needle's  eye. 

Did  not  the  valiant  colonel  Grant 

Against  your  courage  make  his  slant, 

Affirm  your  universal  failure 

In  every  principle  of  valor, 

And  swear  no  scamp'rers  e'ercould  match  you; 

So  swift,  a  bullet  scarce  could  catch  you  ? 

And  will  ye  not  confess  in  this, 

A  judge  most  competent  he  is, 

Well  skil'd  on  runnings  to  deside, 

As  what  himself  has  often  tried  ? 

Twould  not,  methinks,  be  labor  lost, 

If  you'd  sit  down  and  count  the  cost ; 

And  ere  you  call  your*yankies  out, 

First  think  what  work  you've  set  about. 

Have  ye  not  rous,d  his  force  to  try  on. 

That  grim  old  beast  the  British  lion? 

And  know  you  not  that  at  a  sup 

He's  lage  enough  to  eat  you  up  t 

Have  you  survey 'd  his  jaws  beneath, 

Drawn  inventories  of  his  teeth, 

Or  have  you  weigh'd  in  even  ballance 

His  strength  and  magnitude  of  tallons  ? 

His  roar  would  turn  your  boasts  to  fear, 

As  easily  as  sour  small-beer, 


48  M'FINGAL. 

And  make  your  feet  from  dreadful  fray, 
By  native  instinct,  runaway. 
Britain,  depend  on't,  will  take  on  her 
T'  assert  her  dignity  and  honor, 
And  ere  she'd  loose  your  share  of  pelf, 
Destroy  your  country,  and 'herself. 
For  has  riot  North  deelar'd  they  fight 
To  gain  substantial  rev'nue  by't, 
Dcni'd  he'd  ever  deign  to  treat, 
'Till  on  your  knees,  and  at  his  feet? 
And  feel  you  not  a  trifling  ague, 
From  Van's  dclenda  est  Carthago?  * 
For  this  now,   Britain  has  come  to't, 
Think  you  she  has  not  means  to  do't? 
Has  she  not  set  to  work  all  engines 
To  spirit  up  the  native  Indians, 
Send  on  your  backs  a  savage  band, 
With  each  a  hatchet  in  his  hand, 
T'amuse  themselves  with  scalping-knives, 
Aud  butcher  children  and  your  wives; 
That  she  may  boast  again  with  vanity, 
Her  English  national  humanity? 
(For  now,  in  its  primeval  sense, 
This  term,  humanity,  comprehends 

*  Alluding,  as  is  supposed,  to  a  speech  In  the 
British  parliament,  in  which  "  delenda  eat  Cartha 
go"  was  applied  to  America, 


M'FINGAL. 

All  things  of  which,  on  this  side  hell, 

The  human  mind  is  capable ; 

And  thus  'tis  well  by  writers  sage, 

Applied  to  Britain  and  to  Gage.) 

And  on  this  work  to  raise  allies 
She  sent  her  duplicate  of  Guys, 
To  drive  at  diff'rent  parts  at  once  on, 
Her  stout  Guy  Carleton  and  Guy  Johnson  ; 
To  each  of  whom,  to  send  again  yej 
Old  Guy  of  Warwick  were  a  ninny  ; 
Though  the  dun-cow  he  fell'd  in  war, 
These  kill-cows  are  his  betters  far. 

"  And  has  she  not  assay'd  her  notes, 
To  rouse  your  slaves  to  cut  your  throats, 
Sent  o'er  ambassadors  with  guineas, 
To  bribe  your  blacks  in  Carolinas? 
And  has  not  Gage,  her  missionary, 
Turn'd  many  an  Afric  slave  t*  a  tory 
And  made  th'  American  bishop's  see  grovr 
By  many  a  new-converted  Negro  ? 
As  rriends  to  gov'rnment  did  not  he 
Their  slaves  at  Boston  late  set  free  ? 
Enlist  them  al!  ia  black  parade, 
Set  off  with  regimental  red? 
And  were  they  not  accounted  then 
E 


50  M'FINGAL. 

Among  his  very  bravest  men  ? 

And  when  such  means  she  stoops  to  take, 

Think  you  she  is  not  wide  awake  ? 

As  Eliphaz'  good  man  in  Job, 

Own'd  num'rous  allies  through  the  globe  ; 

Had  brought  the  *  stones  along  the  street 

To  ratify  a  covenant  meet, 

And  ev'ry  beast,  from  lice  to  lions, 

To  join  in  league  of  strict  alliance  : 

Has  she  not  cringed,  in  spite  of  pride, 

For  like  assistance,  far  and  wide  ? 

Was  there  a  creature  so  despis'd, 

Its  aid  she  has  not  sought  and  priz'd  ? 

Till  all  this  formidable  league  rose 

Of  Indians,  British  troops  and  Negroes  : 

And  can  you  break  these  triple  bands, 

By  all  your  workmanship  of  hands  ?" 

"  Sir,"  quoth  Honorius,  "  we  presume. 
You  guess  from  past  feats,  what's  to  come  ; 
And  from  the  mighty  deeds  of  Gage, 
Foretel  how  fierce  the  war  he'll  wage. 

*  The  stones  and  all  tke  elements  with  thec 
Shall  ratify  a  strict  confed'racy  ; 
Wild  beasts  their  favage  temper  shall  forget, 
And  fora  firm  alliance  with  thee  treat. 

BLACKMORE'S  PARAPHRASE  OF  o?' 


M'FINGAL*  51 

You,  doubtless,  recollected  here 
The  annals  of  his  first  great  year  ; 
While  wearing  out  the  lories'  patience, 
He  spent  his  breath  in  proclamations  ; 
While  all  his  mighty  noise  and  vapor 
Was  us'd  in  wrangling  upon  paper  ; 
And  boasted  military  feats 
Clos'd  in  the  straining  of  his  wits  ; 
While  troops  in  Boston  commons  plac'J 
Laid  nought  but  quires  of  paper  waste 
While  strokes  alternate  stuhn'd  the  nation, 
Protest,  address,  and  proclamation  ; 
And  speech  met  speech,  fib  clash'd  with  fib, 
And  Gage  still  answei'd  squib  for  squib. 

"  Though  this  not  all  his  time  was  lost  on  ; 
He'fortifi'd  the  town  of  Boston  ; 
Built  breast-works  that  might  lend  assistance 
To  keep  the  patriots  at  a  distance  ; 
(For  howsoe'er  the  rogues  might  scoff; 
He  HkM  them  best,  the  farthest  off,) 
Of  mighty  use  and  help  to  aid 
His  courage  when  he  felt  afraid  ; 
And  whence  right  off,  in  manful  station, 
He'd  boldly  pop  his  proclamation. 
Our  hearts  must  in  our  bosoms  freeze 
At  such  heroic  deeds  as  these." 


52  M'FINGAL, 

"  Vain,"  quoth  our  Squire,    "you'll  find  to 
At  Gage's  first  triumphant  year;  [sneer 

For  providence,  dispos'd  to  teaze  us, 
Can  use  what  instruments  it  pleases. 
To  pay  a  tax,  at  Peter's  wish, 
His  chief  cashier  was  once  a  fish  ; 
Antiss  in  Balaam's  sad  disaster, 
Turn'd  orator  and  sav'd  his  master; 
A  goose  plac'd  century  on  his  station, 
Preserv'd  old  Rome  from  desolation  ; 
An  English  bishop's  *  cur  of  late 
Disclos'd  rebellions  'gainst  the  state  ; 
So  frogs  croak'd  Pharaoh  to  repentance, 
And  lice  revers'd  the  threatening  sentence: 
And  heav'n  can  ruin  you  at  pleasure, 
By  our  scorri'dGage  as  well  as  Cesar. 
Yet  did  our  hero  in  these  days 
Pick  up  some  laurel  wreaths  of  praise. 
Andas  the  statuary  of  Seville 
Made  his  crack'd  saint  an  exc'llent  devil ; 
So  though  our  war  few  triumphs  brings, 
We  gain'd  great  fame  in  other  things. 
Did  not  our  troops  show  much  discerning, 
And  skill,  your  various  arts  in  learning  ? 
Outwent  they  not  each  native  noodle 

*  "  Sec  bishop  Atterbury's  trial.'* 


* 
M'FINSAL.  53 

By  far,  in  playing  Yankey-Doodle  ?* 
Which,  as  'twas  your  New-England  tune, 
'Twas  marvellous  they  took  so  soon  : 
And  ere  the  year  was  fully  through, 
Did  not  they  learn  to  foot  it  too — 
And  such  a  dance  as  ne'er  was  known, 
For  twenty  miles  on  end  led  down  ?f 
Was  there  a  yankey  trick  you  knew, 
They  did  not  play  as  well  as  you  ? 
Dio1  they  not  lay  their  heads  together, 
And  gain  your  art  to  tar  and  feather, 
When  col'nel  Nesbitt  through  the  town 
In  triumph  bore  the  country-clown? 
Oh,  what  a  glorious  work  to  sing 
The  vet' ran  troops  of  Britain's  king. 

*  YANKEY-DOODLJS,  as  M'Fingal  here  relates, 
was  a  native  air  of  New- England,  and  was  often 
played  in  derision  by  the  British  troops,  particular* 
ly  on  their  march  to  Lexington.  Afterwards  the 
captive  army  of  Burgoyne  was  obliged  to  march  to 
this  tune  in  the  ceremony  of  piling  their  arms,  at 
Saratoga.  In  the  course  of  the  war,  it  became  a 
favorite  air  of  liberty,  like  the  present  CA  IRA  of 
France.  It  is  remarkable,  that  after  taking  of  the 
Bastille,  and  before  the  introduction  of  CA  IRA 
the  Paris  guards  played  YANKEY  DOODLE. 

f  This  is  lord  Percy's  modern  chevy.chace  ;  in 
which  his  lordsh;p  and  his  army  were  chaced  from 
Concord  to  Boston. 


54  M'FINGAL, 

Ad  venturing  for  th*  heroic  laurel, 
With  t>ag  of  feathers  and  tar-barrel  { 
To  paint  the  cart  where  culpiits  ride, 
And  Nesbitt  marching  at  its  side,* 

*  In  the  winter  of  17 74  and  i77y,the  British  ar. 
my  had  been  stimulated  by  their  officers  and  the  to- 
ries,  to  an  ardent  desire  to  see  hostilities  commence. 
But  the  instigators  wishing  the  Americans  to  be 
the  aggressors,  used  the  following  stratagem  to  com 
plete  their  purpose. 

On  the  first  of  May  1775,  the  king's  standard 
was  to  be  erected  at  Worcester,  fifty  miles  from 
Boston,  when  lieutenant  colonel  Nesbift  immortal. 
Jzed  himself  by  executing  this  plan  to  promote  the 
quarrel,  and  give  the  arnay  an  opportunity  of  their 
desired  revenge. 

A  soldier,  according  to  his  directions,  sold  an  old 
rusty  musket  to  a  countryman  for  three  dollars, 
who  brought  vegetables  to  market.  This  could  be 
no  crime  in  the  market-man,  who  had  an  undoubt 
ed  right  to  purchase,  and  bear  arms.  He  was,  not 
withstanding,  immediately  seized  by  Nesbitt,  and 
conveyed  to  the  guard-house,  where  he  was  confined 
all  night.  Early  the  next  morning  they  stripped 
him  naked,  covered  him  with  warm  tar,  arid  then 
with  feathers,  and  conducted  him  to  the  north  end 
of  the  town,  then  to  the  south  end,  and  as  far  as 
liberty-tree,  where  they  dismissed  the  man,  through 
fear  of  the  people,  (who  by  this  time  had  collected 
in  hrge  numbcri,)  and  made  a  retreat  to  their  bar, 
racks 

The  party  consisted  of  about  thirty  grenadiers  of 
the  47f>h  regiment  with  fixed  bayonets,  20  drums 


MCFINGAL.  SB 

Great  executioner  and  proud, 
Like  hangman  high  on  Holbom  road; 
And  o'er  the  bright  triumphal  car 
The  waving  ensigns  of  the  war ! 
As  when  a  triumph  Rome  decreed, 
For  great  Calig'la's  valiant  deed, 
Who  had  subdu'd  the  British  seas, 
By  gath'ring  cockles  from  their  base; 
In  pompous  car  the  conqu'ror  bore 
His  captiv'd  scallops  from  the  shore, 
Ovations  gain'd  his  crabs  for  fetching, 
And  mighty  feats  of  oyster  catching  : 
O'eryankies  thus  the  war  begun, 
They  tarr'd  and  triumph'd  over  one; 
And  fought  and  boasted  through  the  season, 
With  might  as  great  and  equal  reason. 

"  Yet  thus  though  skill'd  in  vict'ry  toils, 
They  boast,  not  unexpert  in  wiles. 
For  gain'd  they  not  an  equal  fame  in 
The  art  of  secrecy  and  scheming ; 

and  fifes  playi'ng  the  rogues  march,  headed  by  Nc8« 
bitt,  with  a  drawn  ?word. 

The  magistrates  of  the  town  waited  on  general 
Gage  with  a  complaint  of  this  outrage  ;  he  pretend, 
f  d  disapprobation  ;  but  took  no  steps  to  censure  the 
conduct  of  Nesbitt,  or  to  do  justice  to  the  man  who 
had  suffered  the  violence, 


56  M'FINGAL. 

In  stratagems  show'd  mighty  force, 
And  moderniz'd  the  Trojan  horse  ; 
Play'd  o'er  again  those  tricks  Ulyssean 
In  their  fam'd  Salem  expedition  ?  , 
For  as  that  horse,  the  poets  tell  ye, 
Bore  Grecian  armies  in  his  belly  ; 
Till,  their  full  reck'ning  run,  with  joy 
Their  Sinon  niidwif'd  them  in  Troy ; 
So  in  one  ship  was  Leslie  bold 
Cramm'd  with  three  hundred  men  in  hold, 
Equipp'd  for  enterprise  and  sail, 
Like  Jonas  stow'd  in  womb  of  whale. 
To  Marblehead  in  depth  of  night, 
The  cautious  vessel  wing'  d  her  flight. 
And  now  tbe-sabbath's-silent  day 
Call'd  all  your  yankies  off  to  pray  ; 
Remov'd  each  prying  jealous  neighbor, 
The  scheme  and  vessel  fell  in  labor ; 
Forth  from  its  hollow  womb  pour'  hast'Iy 
The  myrmidons  of  col'nel  Leslie  : 
Not  thicker  o'er  the  blacken'd  strand 
The  *  frogs'  detachment  rush'd  to  land, 
Equipp'd  by  onset  or  surprise 
To  storm  the  entrenchment  of  the  mice. 
Through  Salem  straight  without  delay, 

*  "  See  Homer's  battle  of  the  frcgs  and 


M'FINGAt.  57 

The  bold  battalion  took  its  way, 
March'd  o'er  a  bridge  in  open  sight 
Ofsev'ral  yankies  arm'd  for  fight, 
Then  without  loss  of  time,  or  men, 
Veer'd  round  for  Boston  back  again  ; 
And  found  s.o  well  their  projects  thrive^ 
That  ev'ry  soulgothome  alive. 

"  Thus  Gage's  arms  did  fortune  bless 
With  triumph,  safety,  and  success  : 
But  mercy  is,  without  dispute, 
His  first  and  darling  attribute  ; 
So  great  it  far  outwent  and  conquered 
His  military  skill  at  Concord* 
There",  when  the  war  he  chose  to  wagej 
Shone  the  benevolence  of  Gage  : 
Sent  troops  to  that  ill-omen'd  place 
On  errands  mere  of  special  grace, 
And  all  the  work  he  chose  them  for 
Was  to  *  prevent  a  civil  war:^ 
And  for  that  purpose  he  projected 
The  only  certain  way  t*  effect  it, 
To  take  your  powder,  stores,  and  arms, 
And  all  your  means  of  doing  harms: 
As  prudent  folks  take  knives  away, 
Lest  children  cut  themselves  at  play. 

*  See  Gage's  answer  to  governor  Trumbull. 


jfS  M'FINGAL* 

And  yet,  though  this  was  all  his  scheme, 
This  war  you  still  will  charge  on  him  ; 
And  though  he  oft  has  swore,  and  said  it, 
Stick  close  to  facts,  and  give  no  credit. 
Think  you  he  wish'd  you'd  brave  and  beard 

him  ? 

Why,  'twas  the  very  thing  that  scar'd  him. 
He'd  rather  you  should  all  have  run. 
Than  staid  to  fire  a  single  gum 
And  for  the  civil  war  you  lament, 
Faith,  you  yourselves  must  take  the  blame  in't> 
For  had  you  then  as  he  intended, 
Giv'n  up  your  arms,  it  must  have  ended. 
Since  that's  no  war,  each  mortal  knows, 
Where  one  side  only  gives  the  blows, 
And  th'  other  bears  'em  ;  on  reflection, 
The  most  you'll  call  it,  is  correction. 
Nor  could  the  contest  have  gone  higher, 
If  you  had  ne'er  return'd  the  fire  ; 
But  when  you  shot  and  not  before, 
It  then  commenc'd  a  civil  war. 
Else  Gage,  to  end  this  controversy, 
Had  but  corrected  you  in  mercy  ; 
Whom  mother  Britain,  old  and  wise, 
Sejit  o'er  the  col'nies  to  chastise  ; 
Command  obedience  on  their  peril 
Of  ministerial  whip  and  ferule  ; 


M'FINGAL.  5$ 

And  since  they  ne'er  could  come  of  age, 
Govern'd  and  tutor'd  them  by  Gage. 
Still  more,  that  this  was  all  their  errand, 
The  army's  conduct  makes  apparent, 
What  though  at  Lexington  you  can  say   * 
They  kill'd  a  few  they  did  not  fancy, 
At  Concord  then,  with  manful  popping, 
Discharg'd  a  round,  the  ball  to  open  ; 
Yet  when  they  saw,  your  rebel-rout 
Determin'd  still  to  hold  it  out, 
Did  they  not  show  their  love  to  peace, 
And  wish,  that  discord  straight  might  cease 
Demonstrate,  and  by  proofs  uncommon, 
Their  orders  were,  to  injure  no  man? 
For  did  not  ev'ry  reg'lar  run,* 
As  soon  as  e'er  you  rir'd  a  gun? 
Take  the  first  shot  you  sent  them  greeting, 
As  meant  their  signal  for  retreating — 
And  fearful  if  they  staid  to  sport, 
You  might  by  accident  be  hurt, 
Convey  themselves  with  speed  away 
Full  twenty  miles  in  half  a  day — 

*  In  llie  ancient  wars  in  America,  the  term  Reg 
ular  was  applied  t'o  British  troops,  to  distinguish 
them  from  the  provincials,  or  new  Ic-vfes  of  the 
country.  At  the  commencement  of  the  late  war, 
the  same  terms  of  distinction  were  used. 


60  M'FINCA>L. 

Race  till  their  legs  were  grown  so  weary, 

They'd  scarce  suffice  their  weight  to  carry  ? 

Whence  Gage  extols,  from  gen'ral  hearsay, 

The  *  great  activ'ty  of  lord  Percy, 

Whose  brave  example  led  them  on, 

And  spirited  the  troops  ro  run • 

And  now  may  boast  at  royal  levees, 

A  yankey  chace  worth  forty  chevys. 

Yet  you  as  vile  as  they  were  kind, 

Pursu'd  like  tigers  close  behind; 

Fir'd  on  them  at  your  will,  and  shut 

The  town  ;  as  though  you'd  starve  them  out: 

And  with  parade  preposterous  f  hedg'd, 

Affect  to  hold  them  there  besieg'd  ;. 

(Though  Gage,  whom  proclamations  call 

Your  goy'norand  vice-admiral, 

Whose  pow'r  gubernatorial  still 

Extends  as  far  as  Bunker's-HM — 

Whose  admiralty  reaches  clever, 

Near  half  a  mile  up  Mystic  river, 

*  «  Too  much  praise  cannot  be  given  to  lord 
Percy,  for  his  remarkable  activity  through  the 
whole  day." 

Gage's  account  of  Lexington  battle. 

\  "  And  with  a  preposterous  parade  of  military 
arrangement,  they  affect  to  hold  the  army  besieged*1' 
Gage1  s  last  grand  proclamation. 


M'FINGAL.  61 

Whose  naval  force  commands  the  seas, 
Can  run  away  whene'er  he  please) 
Scar'd  troops  of  tories  into  town, 
And  burnt  their  hay  and  houses  down, 
And  menac'd  Gage,  unless  he'd  flee, 
To  drive  him  headlong  to  the  sea  ; 
As  once,  to  faithless  Jews  a  sign, 
The  de'el,  turn'd  hog-reeve,  did  the  swine. 

"  But  now  your  triumphs  all  are  o'er, 
For  see,  from  Britain's  angry  shore, 
With  mighty  hosts  of  valor,  join 
Her  Howe,  her  Clinton,  and  Burgoyne. 
As  comets  through  th'  affrighted  skies 
Pour  baleful  ruin,  as  they  rise  j 
As  Mtna,  withlnfernal  roar,     . 
In  conflagration  sweeps  the  shore  ; 
Or  as  *  Abijah  White,  when  sent 
Our  Marshfield  friends  to  represent, 
Himself  while  dread  array  involves, 
Commissions,  pistols,  swords,  resolves, 
In  awful  pomp  descending  down, 

*  "  He  was  a  representative  of  Marshfield,  and 
employed  to  carry  their  famous  town  resolves  to 
Boston.  He  armed  himself  in  a  ridiculous  milita 
ry  array,  as  another  Hudibras,  pretending  he  was 
tfraid  he  should  be  robbed  of  them." 
F 


$2  M'FINCAL. 

Bore  terror  on  the  factious  town  : 

Not  with  less  glory  and  dffright, 

Parade  these  gen'rals  forth  to  fight. 

No  more  each  reg'lar  cornel  *  runs 

From  whizzing  beetles,  as  air-guns, 

Thinks  horn-bugs  bullets — or,  through  fears, 

Muskitoes  takes  for  musqueteers  ; 

Nor  'scapes,  as  though  you'd  gain'd  allies 

Fro:i)  Beelzebub's  whole  hosts 'of  flies. 

No  bug  their  warlike  hearts  appals, 

They  better  know  the  sound  of  balls. 

1  hear  the  din  of  battle  bray, 

The  trump  of  horror  marks  its  way. 

I  see  afar  the  sack  of  cities, 

The  gallows  strung  with  whig-committees; 

Your  moderators  trick'd  like  vermin, 

And  gate-posts  grac'd  with  heads  of  chairmen  ; 

Your  gen'rals  for  wave-orPrings  hanging, 

*  "  This  was  a  fact.  Some  British  officers,  soon 
atter  Gage's  arrival  at  Boston,  walking  on  Beacon- 
hill,  after  sunset,  were  affrighted  by  noises  in  the 
air  (supposed  to  be  the  flying  of  bugs  and  beetles) 
which  they  took  to  be  the  sound  of  bullets,  and 
left  the  hill  with  great  precipitation.  Concerning 
which  they  wrote  terrible  accounts  to  England  of 
their  being  sh®t  at  with  air-^uns  ;  as  appears  by 
one  or  two  letters,  extracts  from  which  were  pub- 
Jished  in  the  English  papers»  , 


M'FINGAL.  C3 

And  ladders  throng'd  with  priests  haranguing. 

What  piiPries  giad  the  tones'  eyes 

WitU  patriot-ears  for  sacrifice  I 

What  whipping-posts  your  chosen  race 

Admit  successive  in  embrace, 

While  each  bears  off  his  crimes,  alack  ! 

Like  Bunyan's  pilgrim,  on  his  back  ! 

Where  then,  when  tories  scarce  get  clear, 

Shall  whigs  and  congresses  appear  ? 

What  rocks  and  mountains  shall  you  call 

To  wrap  you  over  with  their  fall, 

And  save  your  heads,  in  these  sad  weathers, 

From  fire  and  sword,  and  tar  and  feathers  1 

For  lo,  with  British  troops,  tar-bright, 

Again  our  Nesbitt  heaves  in  sight ! 

He  comes,  he  comes,  your  lines  to  storm, 

And  rig  your  troops  in  uniform  ! 

To  meet  such  'heroes,  will  ye  brag, 

With  fury  arm'd  and  feather-bag  ; 

Who  wield  their  missile  pitch  and  tar, 

With  engines  new  in  British  war  ? 

"  Lo,  where  our  mighty  navy  brings 
Destruction  on  her  canvas  wings  ; 
While  through  the  deeps  her  potent  thunder 
Shall  sound  th*  alarm  to  rob  and  plunder! 
As  Phoebus  first  (so  Homer  speaks) 


64  M'FINGAL. 

When  he  march'd  out  to  attack  the  Greeks, 

'Gainst  mules  sent  forth  his  arrows  fatal, 

Arid  slew  thj  auxiliaries,  their  cattle; 

So  where  our  ships  shall  stretch  the  keel, 

What  conquer'd  oxen  shall  they  steal ! 

What  heroes,  rising  from  the  deep, 

Invade  your  marshall'd  hosts  of  sheep  1 

Disperse  whole  troops  of  horse,  and,  piessing, 

Make  cows  surrender  at  discretion  ; 

Attack  your  hens,  like  Alexanders, 

And  reg'ments  rout  of  geese  and  ganders  ; 

Or,  where  unite.d  arms  combine, 

Lead  captive  many  a  herd  of  swine  ! 

Then  rush  in  dreadful  fury  down 

To  fire  on  ev'rv  sea-port  town  ; 

Display  their  glory  and  their  wits, 

Fright  unarm'd  children  into  fits, 

And  stoutly  from  th'  unequal  fray 

Make  many  a  woman  run  away  ! 

And  .can  ye  doubt,  whene'er  we  please, 

Our  chiefs  shall  boast  such  deeds  as  these? 

Have  we  not  chiefs,  transcending  far 

The  old  fam'd  thunderbolts  of  war  ; 

Beyond  the  brave  romantic  fighters, 

Styl'd  swords  of  death  by  novel-writers  ? 

Nor  in  romancing  ages  e'er  rose 

So  terrible  a  tier  of  heroes. 


From  Gage,  what  flashes  fright  the  waves  ! 

How  Joud  a  blunderbuss  is  Graves  !* 

How  Newport  dreads  the  biust'ririg  sallies, 

That  thunder  from  our  pop-gun,  Wallace  !* 

While  noise,  in  formidable  strains, 

Spouts  from  his  thimble-full  of  brains  ! 

I  see  you  sink  with  aw'd  surprise  ! 

I  see  our  tory  brethren  rise  ! 

And  as  the  sect'ries  Sandemanian,f 

Our  friends,  describe  their  wish'd  millennium ; 

Tell  how  the  world,  in  ev'ry  region 

At  once,  shall  own  their  true  religion  ; 

For  heav'n  with  plagues  of  awful  dread, 

Shall  knock  all  heretics  o'er  the  head  ; 

And  then  their  church,  the  meek  in  spirit, 

The  earth,  as  promised,  shall  inherit, 

From  the  dead  wicked,  as  heirs-male, 

And  next  remainder-men  in  tail  : 

Such  ruin  shall  the  whigs  oppress  I 

*  Admiral  Graves  and  captain  Wallace  lay  be 
fore  the  town  of  Newport  a  long  time,  and  by  their 
"  deeds  above  heroic,"  merited  all  the  praises  that 
th«  discerning  M'Fingal  has  here  bestowed  upon 
them. 

f  The  religious  sect  of  Sandemanians  have  sin 
gular  ideas  of  the  millennium.     Their  political  reli 
gion  during  the  revolution  was  toryism. 
F2 


66  M'FINGAL, 

Such  spoils  our  tory  friends  shall  bless  ! 
While  confiscation  at  command 
Shall  stalk  in  horror  through  the  land, 
Shall  give  your  whig  estates  away, 
And  call  our  brethren  in  to  play. 

"  And  can  ye  doubt  or  scruple  more, 
These  things  are  near  you  at  the  door  ? 
Behold  !  for  though  to  reasoning  blind, 
Signs  of  the  times  ye  sure  might  mind, 
And  view  impending  fale  as  plain 
As  ye'd  foretel  a  show'r  of  rain. 

"  Hath  not  heav'n  warn'd  -you  what  must 
And  providence  declar'd  against  you,  [ensue, 
Hung  forth  its  dire  po'rtents  of  war, 
By  *  signs  and  beacons  in  the  air  ; 
Alarm'd  old  women,  all  around, 
By  fearful  noises  under  ground  ; 
While  earth,' for  many  dozen  leagues, 
Groan'd  with  her  dismal  load  of  whigs? 
\Vas  their  a  rikteor  far  and  wide 
But  muster* (I  on  the  tory-side  ? 
A  star,  malign,  that  has  not  bent 

*  "  Such  stories  of  prodigies  were  at  that  time 
industriously  propagated  among  the  tory  party  in 
-various  parts  of  New. England,  to  terify  and  intim 
idate  the  superstitious." 


M'FINGAL,  €7 

Its  aspect  for  the  parliament, 

Foreboding  your  defeat  and  misery; 

As  once  they  fought  against  old  Sisera  ? 

Was  there  a  clould  that  spread  the  skies, 

But  bore  our  armies  of  allies  ? 

While  dreadful  hosts  of  fire  stood  forth 

Mid  baleful  glimm'rings  from  the  north  ;* 

Which  plainly  shews  which  part  they  join'd, 

For  North's  the  minister,  ye  mind  ; 

Whence  oft  your  quibblers  in  gazettes 

On  northern  blasts  have  strain'd  their  wits; 

And  think  ye  not  the  clouds  know  how 

To  make  the  pun  as  well  as  you  ? 

Did  there  arise  an  apparition, 

But  grinn'd  forth  ruin  to  sedition  ? 

A  death  watch,  but  has  join'd  our  leagues, 

And  click'd  destruction  to  the  whigs  ? 

Heard  ye  not,  when  the  wind  was  fair. 

At  night,  our  or'tors  in  the  air, 

That,  loud  as  admiralty  libel, 

Read  awful  chapters  from  the  bible, 

And  death  and  deviltry  denounc'd  ? 

And  told  you,  how  you'd  soon  be  trounc'd  ? 

*  It  is  said  to  be  a  fact,  that  in  America,  about 
tlie  commencement  of  the  war,  the  aurora  borealis 
appeared  more  frequently  than  usual,  and  assumed 
more  singular  appearances. 


65  M'FINGAL. 

I  see,  to  join  ourconqu'ring  side, 
Heay'n,  earth  and  hell,  at  once  ally'd  ! 
See  from  your  overthrow  and  end, 
The  tones'  paradise  ascend  ; 
Like  that  new  world  that  claims  its  station 
Beyond  the  final  conflagration  ! 
I  see  the  day,  that  lots  your  share" 
In  utter  darkness  and  despair  ; 
The  day  of  joy,  when  North,  our  lord, 
His  faithful  servants  shall  reward  ! 
No  tory  then  shall  set  before  him 
„  Small  wish  of  'squire,  or  justice  Quorum  ; 
But,  'fore  his  unmistake  n  eyes 
See  lordships,  posts  and  pensions  rise. 
Awake  to  gladness,  then,  ye  tories, 
Th'  unbounded  prospect  lies  before  us  : 
The  pow'r  display'd  in  Gage's  banners. 
Shall  cut  Amer'can  land  to  manors, 
And  o'er  our  happy,  conquer'd  ground 
Dispense  estates  and  titles  round. 
Behold  the  world  will  stare  at  new  sets 
Of  home-made  *  earls,  in  Massachusetts  j 
Admire,  array 'd  in  ducal  tassels, 
Your  Ol'vers,  Hutchinsons  and  Vassals  ; 
See,  join'd  in  ministerial  work, 

*  See  Hutchinson'8  and  Oliver's  letters. 


M'FINGAL.  €» 

His  grace  of  Albany  and  York ! 

What  lordships  from  each  carv'd  estate, 

On  our  New- York  assembly  wait ! 

What  titled  *  Jauncys,  Gales  and  Billops; 

Lord  Brush,  lord  Wilkins,  and  lord  Phillips  ; 

In  wide-sleev'd  pomp  of  godly  guise, 

What  solemn  rows  of  bishops  rise  ! 

Aloft  a  card'nai's  hat  is  spread 

O'er  punster  f  Cooper's  rev'rend  head  1 

In  Vardell,  that  poetic  zealot, 

I  view  a  lawn-bedizen'd  prelate  I 

While  mitres  fall,  as  'tis  their  duty, 

On  heads  of  Chandler  and  Auchmuty  ! 

Knights,  viscounts,  barons,  shall  ye  meet, 

As  thick  as  pavements  in  the  street  ! 

Ev'n  I,  perhaps,  heav'n  speed  my  claim, 

Shall  fix  a  sir  before  my  name. 

For  titles  all  our  foreheads  ache  ; 

For  what  blest  changes  can  they  make  I 

Place  rev'rence,  grace,  and  excellence 

Where  neither  claim'd  the  least  pretence  : 

*  Members  of  the  ministerial  majority  in  the 
New- York  assembly  ;  Wilkins,  a  noted  writer. 

f  President  Cooper,  a  notorious  punster  ;  Var 
dell,  author  of  some  poetical  satires  on  the  sons  of 
liberty  in  N^wYork,  and  royal  professor  in  king's 
college  ;  Chandler  and  Auchmuty,  high-church 
and  tory  writers  of  the  clerical  order. 


70  M'FINGAL. 

Transform  by  patent's  magic  words 

Men,  likest  devils  into  lords  ; 

Whence  commoners,  to  peers  translated, 

Are  justly  said  to  be  created! 

Now  where  commissioners  ye  saw, 

Shall  boards  of  nobles  deal  you  law  ! 

Long  rob'd  comptrollers  judge  your  rights, 

And  tide-waiters  start  up  in  knights ! 

While  whigs  subdu'd  in  slavish  awe, 

Our  wood  shall  hew,  our  water  draw, 

And  bless  that  mildness,  when  past  hope, 

Which  sav'd  their  necks  from  noose  of  iope. 

For  as  to  gain  assistance,  we 

Design  their  negroes  to  set  free  ; 

For  whigs,  when  we  enough  shall  bang  'cm. 

Perhaps  'tis  better  not  to  hang  'em  ; 

Except  their  chiefs ;  the  vulgar  knaves 

Will  do  more  good  preserv'd  for  slaves." 

"'Tiswell,"  Honorius cried,  "yourschcme 
Has  painted  out  a  pretty  dream. 
We  can't  confute  your  second  sight; 
We  shall  be  slaves  and  you  a  knight  ; 
These  things  must  come :  but  I  divine 
They'll  come  not  in  your  day,  nor  mine. 
But  O  !  my  friends,  my  brethren,  hear. 
And  turn  for  once  the  attentive  ear, 


M'FINOAL.  71 

Ye  see  how  prompt  to  aid  our  woes, 

The  tender  mercies  of  our  foes ; 

Ye  see  with  what  unvaried  rancor 

Still  for  our  blood  their  minions  hanker, 

Nor  ought  can  sate  their  mad  ambition, 

From  us,  but  death,  or  worse,  submission. 

Shall  these  then  riot  in  our  spoij, 

Reap  the  glad  harvest  of  our  toil, 

Rise  from  their  country's  ruin  proud, 

And  roll  their  chariot  wheels  in  blood  ? 

And  can  ye  sleep  while  high  outspread 

Hangs  desolation  o'er  your  head  ? 

See  Gage,  with  inauspicious  star, 

Has  op'd  the  gates  of  civil  war ; 

When  streams  of  gore  from  freemen  slain, 

Encrimson'd  Concord's  fatal  plain  j 

Whose  warning  Voice,  with  awful  sound, 

Still  cries  like  Abel's,  fjom  the  ground, 

And  heav'n,  attentive  to  its  call, 

Shall  doom  the  proud  oppressor's  fall. 

"  Rise  then,  ere  ruin  swift  surprise, 
To  victory,  to  vengeance  rise  ! 
Hark  !  how  the  distant  din  alarms  ! 
The  echoing  trumpet  breathes,  to  arms  ! 
From  provinces,  remote  afar, 
The  sons  of  glory  rouse  to  war  ; 
'Tis  freedom  calls  ;  th'  enraptur'd  sound 


*72  M'FINGAL. 

The  Apalachian  hills  rebound  ; 

The  Georgian  shores  her  voice  shall  hear, 

And  start  from  lethargies  of  fear. 

From  the  parch'd  zone,  with  glowing  ray, 

Where  pours  the  sun  intenser  day, 

To  shores  where  icy  waters  roll, 

And  tremble  to  the  dusky  pole, 

Inspiri'd  by  freedom's  heav'nly  charms, 

United  nations  wake  to  arms. 

The  star  of  conquest  lights  their  way, 

And  guides  their  vengeance  on  their  prey.— 

Yes,  though  tyrannic  force  oppose, 

Still  shall  they  triumph  o'er  their  foes, 

Till  heav'n  the  happy  land  shall  bless> 

With  safety,  liberty,  and  peace. 

"And  ye,  whose  souls  of  dastard  mould, 
Start  at  the  brav'i  y  of  the  bold  ; 
To  love  your  country  who  pretend, 
Yet  want  all  spirit  to  defend  ; 
Who  feel  your  fancies  so  prolific, 
Engend'ring  vision'd  whims  terrific, 
O'er-run  with  horrors  of  coercion, 
Fire,  blood,  and  thunder  in  reversion, 
King's  standards,  pili'ries,  confiscations, 
And  Gage's  scare-crow  proclamations, 
With  all  the  trumpery  of  fear  ; 


M'FINGAL.  3 

Hear  bullets  whizzing  in  your  rear ; 

Who  scarce  could  rouse,  if  caught  in  fray, 

Presence  of  mind  to  run  away  ; 

See  nought  but  halters  rise  to  view 

In  all  your  dreams  (and  dreams  are  true)  ; 

And  while  these  phantoms  haunt  your  brains, 

Bow  down  the  willing  neck  to  chains. 

Heav'ns  !  are  ye  sons  of  sires  so  great, 

Immortal  in  the  fields  of  fate, 

Who  brav'd  all  deaths  by  land  or  sea, 

Who  bled,  who  conquered  to  be  free  ! 

Hence  !  coward  souls,  the  worst  disgrace 

Of  our  forefathers'  valiant  race  ; 

Hie  homeward  from  the  glorious  field ; 

There  turn  the  wheel,  the' distaff  wield; 

Act  what  ye  are,  nor  dare  to  stain 

The  warrior's  arm  with  touch  profane  : 

There  beg  your  more  heroic  wives 

To  guard  your  children  and  your  lives/ 

Beneath  their  aprons  find  a  screen, 

Nor  dare  to  mingle  more  with  men." 

As  thus  he  said,  the  tones'  anger 
Could  now  restrain  itself  no  longer, 
Who  tried  before  by  many  a  freak,  0r 
Insulting  noise,  to  stop  the  speaker; 
S  wrung  th'unoii'd  hinge  of  each  pew  door; 
G 


*i4  M'FINGAL. 

Their  feet  kept  shuffling  on  the  floor  : 

Made  their  disapprobation  known 

By  many  a  murmur,  hum,  and  groan, 

That  to  his  speech  supplied  the  place 

Of  counter  part  in  thorough-bass: 

As  bag-pipes,  while  the  tune  they  breathe, 

Still  drone  and  grumble  underneath  ; 

Or  as  the  fam'd  Demosthenes 

liarangu'd  the  rumbling  of  the  seas, 

Held  forth,  with  eloquence  full  grave, 

To  audience  loud  of  wind  and  wave! 

And  had  a  stiller  congregation 

Than  tones  are,  to  hear  th'  oration. 

But  now  the  storm  grew  high    and  louder,, 

As  nearer  thund'ringsof  a  cloud  are, 

And  every  soul  with  heart  and  voice, 

Supplied  his  quota  of  the  noise; 

Each  list'nifig  ear  was  set  on  torture, 

Each  tory  bell'wing  out,  to  order: 

And  some,  with  tongue  not  low  or  weak, 

Were  clam'ring  fast  for  leave  to  speak  ; 

The  moderator,  with  great  vi'lence, 

The  cushion    thump'd,   with   "  silence  !    si- 

The  constable  to  ev'ry  prater  [lence  ! 

Bawl'd  out,  "  Pray  hear  the  moderator  !"• 

Some  call'd  the  vote,  and  some,  in  turn, 

Were  screaming  high,  "  adjourn,  adjourn." 


>» 


M'FINGAL. 

Not  chaos  heard  such  jars  and  clashes 
When  all  the  el'ments  fought  for  places. 
Eich  bludgeon  soon  for  blows  wastim'd  ; 
Each  fist  stood  ready  cock'd  and  prim'd  ; 
The  storm  each  moment  louder  grew  ; 
His  sword  the  great  M'Fingai  drew. 
Prepared  in  either  chance  to  share, 
To  keep  the  peace,  or  aid  the  war. 
Nor  lack'd  they  each  poetic  being, 
Whom  bards  alone  are  skilled  in  seeing  ; 
Phim'd  victory  stood  perch'd  on  high, 
Upon  the  pulpit-canopy, 
To  join,  as  is  her  custom  tried, 
Like  Indians,  on  the  strongest  side ; 
The   destinies,  with  shears  and  distaff, 
Drew  near,  their  threads  oflife  to  twist  off; 
The  furies  Jgan  to  feast  on  blows, 
And  broken  heads  or  bloody  nosev; 
When  on  a  sudden,  from  without, 
Arose  a  loud  terrific  shout : 
And  straight  the  people  all  at  once  heard 
Of  tongues  an  universal  conceit  ; 
Like  ^Esop's  times,  as  fable  runs, 
When  ev'ry  creature  talk'd  at  once  ; 
Or  like  the  variegated  gabble 
That  craz'd  the  carpenters  of  Babel. 
Each  party  soon  forgot  the  quarrel, 


76  M'FINGAL. 

And  let  the  other  go  on  parole  : 

Eager  to  know  what  fearful  matter 

Had  conjur'd  up  such  gen'ral  clatter  ; 

And  left  the  church  in  thin  array, 

As  though  it  had  been  lecture  day. 

Our  'Squire  M'Fingal  straightway  beckon'd 

The  constable  to  stand  his  second, 

And  sallied  forth,  with  aspect  fierce, 

The  crowd  assembled  to  disperse. 

The  moderator,  out  of  view, 

Beneath  a  bench  had  lain  perdue  ; 

Peep'd  up  his  head  to  view  the  fray, 

Beheld  the  wranglers  runaway, 

And,  left  alone,  with  solemn  face, 

Adjourn'dthem  without  time  or  place. 


END  OF  THE  SECOND  CANTO. 


M'FINGAL 

CANTO  THIRD. 

The  Liberty-Pole. 


^  ow,  arm'd  with  ministerial  ire, 
Fierce  sallied  forth  our  loyal  'Squire, 
And  on  his  striding  steps  attends 
His  desp'rate  clan  of  tory  friends  ; 
When  sudden  met  his  angry  eye, 
A  pole  ascending  through  the  sky. 
Which  numerous  throngs  of  whiggish  race 
Were  raising  in  the  market  place  ; 
Not  higher  school  boys'  kites  aspire, 
Or  royal  mast,  or  country  spire, 
Like  spears  at  Brobdingnagian  tilting, 
Or  Satan's  walking  staff  in  Milton  ; 
And  on  its  top  the  flag  unfurl'd, 
Wav'd  triumph  o'er  the  prostrate  world,. 
Inscrib'd  with  inconsistent  types 
Of  liberty  and  thirteen  stripes. 
Beneath,  the  crowd,  without  delay, 
G2 


78  M'FINGAL. 

The  dedication  rites  essay, 

And  gladly  pay  in  ancient  fashion, 

The  ceremonies  of  libation  : 

While  briskly  to  each  patriot  lip 

Walks  eager  round  the  inspiring  flip  :* 

Delicious  draught,  whose  pow'rs  inherit 

The  quintessence  of  public  spirit  ! 

Which  whoso  tastes,  perceives  his  mind 

To  nobler  politics  refin'd. 

Or  rous'd  for  martial  controversy, 

As  from  transforming  cups  of  Circe  ; 

Or  warm'd  with  Homer's  nectar'd  liquor, 

That  fiil'd  the  veins  of  gods  with'ichor. 

At'hand,  for  new  supplies  in  store, 

The  tavern  opes  its  friendly  door, 

Whence  to  and  fro  the  waiters  run, 

Like  bucket-men,  at  fires  in  town. 

rjThen  with  three  shouts  that  tore  the  sky, 

Tis  consecrate  to  liberty  : 

To  guard  it  from  th'  attacks  of  tories, 

A  grand  committee  cull'd  of  four  is, 

Who,  foremost  on  the  patriot  spot, 

Had  bought  the  flip,  and  paid  the  shot. 

By  this  M'Fingal,  with  his  train, 
Advanc'd  upon  th'  adjacent  plain, 
*  Flip  1?  a  liquor  composed  cf  beer,  rum  and  sugar. 


M'FINGAL.  19 

And  fierce,  with  royal  rage  possess'd, 

Pour'd  forth  the  zeal  that  fir'd  his  breast. 

"  What  mad-brain'd  rebel  gave  commission 

To  raise  this  may-pole  of  sedition  ? 

Like  Babel  rear'd  by  bawling  throngs, 

With  like  confusion,  too,  of  tongues, 

To  point  at  heav'n,  and  summbn^down 

The  thunders  of  the  British  crown? 

Say,  will  this  paltry  pole  secure 

Your  forfeit  heads  from  Gage's  pow'r? 

Attack'd  by  heroes,  brave  and  crafty, 

Is  this  to  stand  your  ark  of  safety? 

Or,  driv'n  by  Scottish  laird  and  laddie, 

Think  ye  to  rest  beneath  its  shadow? 

When  bombs,  like  fiery  serpents,  fly, 

And  balls  move  hissing  through  the  sky, 

Wrill  this  vile  pole,  devote  to  freedom, 

Save  like  the  Jewish  pole  in  Edom, 

Or,  like  the  brazen  snake  of  Moses, 

Cure  your  crack'd  skulls  and  batter'd  noses  ? 

Ye  dupes  to  ev'ry  factious  rogue 

Or  tavern  prating  demagogue, 

Whose  tongue  but  rings,  with  sound  more  full, 

On  th'  empty  drumhead  of  his  skull  • 

Behold  you  not  what  noisy  fools, 

Use  you,  worse  simpletons,  for  tools  ? 


SO  M'FINGAL.     , 

For  liberty  in  your  own  by-sense, 

Is  but  for  crimes  a  patent  license  , 

To  break  of  law  th*  Egyptian  yoke, 

And  throw  the  world  in  common  stock  i 

Reduce  all  grievances  and  ills 

To  niagna  charta  of  your  wills  ; 

Establish  cheats,  and  frauds  and  nonsense, 

Fram'd  by  the  model  of  your  conscience  ; 

Cry  justice  down,  as  out  of  fashion, 

And  fix  its  scale  of  depreciation  ;* 

Defy  all  creditors  to  trouble  ye, 

And  pass  new  years  of  Jewish  jubilee  ; 

Drive  judges  out,  like  Aaron's  calves. 

By  jurisdiction  of  white  staves, 

And  make  the  bar,  and  bench,  and  steeple, 

Submit  tj  our  sovereign  lord,  the  people  ; 

Assure  each  knave  his  whole  assets, 

By  gen'ral  amnesty  of  debts  ; 

By  plunder  rise  to  pow'r  and  glory^ 

And  brand  all  property  as  tory  : 

Expose  all  wares  to  lawfulseizures 

Of  mobbers  and  monopolizers  ; 

•  *  Alluding  to  the  depreciation  of  the  continental 
paper. money.  The  declining  value  of  this  currency 
,was  ascertained  and  declared  by  congress  in  what 
was  called  a  scale  of  depreciation.  See  more  of  thia 
subject  in  the  last  canto. 


M'FINOAL.  Si 

Break  heads,  and  windows,  and  the  peace, 
For  your  own  interest  and  increase  ; 
Dispute,  and  pray,  and  fight,  and  groan, 
For  public  good,  and  mean  your  own  ; 
Prevent  the  laws,  by  fierce  attacks, 
From  quitting  scores  upon  your  backs  ; 
Lay  your  old  dread,  the  gallows,  low, 
And  seize  the  stocks,  your  ancient  foe, 
And  turn  them  as  convenient  engines 
To  wreak  your  patriotic  vengeance  ; 
While  all,  your  claims  who  understand, 
Confess  they're  in  the  owner's  hand  ; 
And  when  by  clamours  and  confusions, 
Your  freedom's  grown  a  public  nuisance, 
Cry,  liberty', 'with  pow'rful  yearning, 
As  he  does, /n?,  whose  house  is  burning, 
Though  he  already  has  much  more, 
Than  he  can  find  occasion  for, 
While  ev'ry  dunce,  that  turns  the  plains, 
Though  bankrupt  in  estate  and  brains, 
By  this  new  light  transform' d  to  traitor, 
Forsakes  his  plough,  to  turn  dictator, 
Starts  an  haranguing  chief  of  whigs, 
And  drags  you  by  the  ears  like  pigs. 
All  bluster  arm'd  with  factious  license, 
Transformed  at  once  to  politicians  ; 
Each  Icather-apron'd  clown,  grown  wise, 


82  M'FINGAL. 

Presents  his  forward  face  t*  advise, 

And  tatter'd  legislators  meet 

From  ev'ry  work-shop  through  the  street; 

His  goose  the  tailor  finds  new  use  in, 

To  patch  and  turn  the  constitution  ; 

The  blacksmith  comes  with  sledge  and  grate, 

To  iron-bind  the  wheels  of  state  , 

The  quack  forbears  his  patient  souse, 

To  purge  the  council  and  the  house  5, 

The  tinker  quits  his  moulds  and  doxies, 

To  cast  assemblymen  at  proxies, 

From  dunghills  deep  of  sable  hue, 

Your  dirt-bred  patriots  spring  to  view, 

To  wealth  and  pow'r  and  pension  rise,. 

Like  new^wing'd  maggots  chang'd  to  flies  ; 

And  fluttering  round  in  proud  parade,  \ 

Strut  in  the  robe  or  gay  cockade. 

See  *  Ar — d  quits,  for  ways  more  certain, 

His  bankrupt  perj'ries  for  his  fortune  ; 

*  "  Ar — d's  perjuries  at  the  time  of  his  pretended 
bankruptcy,  which  was  the  first  rise  of  his  fortune  ; 
and  his  curious  law-suit  against  a  brother  skipper, 
who  had  charged  him  with  having  caught  the 
above  mentioned  disease,  by  his  connexion  with  a 
certain  African  princess  in  the  West-Indies,  with 
its  humorous  issut,  are  matters,  not  I  believe  so  ge 
nerally  kwown,  as  the  other  circumstances  of  hi» 
public  and  private  character." 


M'FINGA-L.  83 

Brews  rum  no  longer  in  his  store, 
Jockey  and  skipper  now  no  more ; 
Forsakes  his  warehouses  and  docks, 
And  writs  of  slander  for  the  pox, 
And,  purg'd  by  patriotism  from  shame, 
Grows  gen'ral  of  the  foremost  name. 

Hiatus* 

For  in  this  ferment  of  the  stream, 
The  dregs  have  work'd  up  to  the  brim, 
And  by  the  rule  of  topsy-turveys, 
The  skum  stands  swelling  on  the  surface. 
You've  caus'd  your  pyramid   t'  ascend, 
And  set  it  on  the  little  end  : 
Like  Hudibras,  your  empire's  made, 
Whose  crupper  had  o'er-top'd  his  head; 
You've  push'd  and  turn'd  thewhole  world  up- 
Side  down,  and  got  yourselves  a-top  : 
While  all  the  great  ones  of  your  state, 
Are  crush'd  beneath  the  pop'lar  weight  ; 
Nor  can  you  boast  this  present  hour, 
The  shadow  of  the  form  of  pow'r. 
For  what's  your  congress,  f  or  its  end  ? 

*  **  M'Fingal  having  here  inserted  the  names  and  » 
characters  or   several  great  men,    whom  the  public 
have  not  yet  fully  detected,  it  is  thought  proper  to 
omit  sundry    paragraphs   of  his  speech  in    the  pre, 
sent  edition." 

f  The  author  here,  in  a  true  strain  of  patriotic 


84  M'FINGAL. 

A  pow'r  t'  advise  and  recommend  ; 

To  call  for  troops,  adjust  your  quotas, 

And  yet  no  soul  is  bound  to  notice  ; 

To  pawn  your  faith  to  th'  utmost  limit, 

But  cannot  bind  you  to  redeem  it, 

And,  when  in  want,  no  moie  in  them  lies 

Than  begging  of  your  state  assemblies  ; 

Can  utter  oracles  of  dread, 

Like  friar  Bacon's  brazen  head  ; 

But  should  a  faction  e'er  dispute  'em, 

Has  ne'er  an  arm  to  execute  'em. 

As  though  you  chose  supreme  dictators, 

And  put  them  under  conservators  ; 

You've  but  pursued  the  self-same  way, 

With  Shakespeare's  Trinclo  in  the  play, 

"  You  shall  be  viceroys,  here,  'tis  true, 

But  we'll  be  viceroys  over  you." 

What  wild  confusion  hence  must  ensue,       * 

Though  common  danger  yet  cements  you  ! 

So  some  wreck'd  vessel,  all  in  shatters, 

Is  held  up  by  surrounding  waters  ; 

censure,  pointed  out  the  principal  defects  in  the 
first  federal  constitution  of  the  United  States  ;  all 
which  have  been  since  removed  in  the  new  constitu 
tion,  established  in  the  year  1789.  So  ihat  the 
prophecy  be\ovrtyou'/l  ne'er  have  sense  enough  to  mend 
it,  must  be  .ranked  among  the  other  sage  blunders 
of  his  second  sighted  hero. 


M'FINGAL. 

But  stranded,  when  the  pressure  ceases, 
Falls  by  its  rottenness  to  pieces: 
And  fall  it  must — if  wars  were  ended, 
You'll  ne'er  have  sense  enough  to  mend  it; 
But  creeping  on  with  low  intrigues, 
Like  vermin  of  an  hundred  legs, 
Will  find  as  short  a  life  assign'd, 
As  all  things  else  of  reptile  kind. 
Your  commonwealth's  a  common  harlot, 
The  property  of  ev'ry  varlet, 
Which  now  in  taste  and  full  employ, 
All  sorts  admire,  as  all  enjoy  ; 
But  soon,  a  batter'd  strumpet  grown, 
You'll  curse  and  drum  her  out  of  town, 
Such  is  the  government  you  chose  ; 
For  this  you  bade  the  world  be  foes: 
For  this,  so  mark'd  for  dissolution, 
You  scorn  the  British  constitution; 
That  constitution,  form'd  by  sages, 
The  wonder  of  all  modern  ages  : 
Which  owns  no  failure  in  reality. 
Except  corruption  and  venality  ; 
And  only  proves  the  adage  just, 
That  best  things  spoil'd,  corrupt  to  worst 
So  man,  supreme  in  mortal  station, 
And  mighty  lord  of  this  creation, 
When  once  his  corse  is  dead  as  herring, 
H 


S6  M'FINGAL. 

Becomesthe  most  offensive  carrion, 
And  sooner  breeds  the  plague,  'tis  found, 
ThaiTall  beasts  rotting  'bove  the  ground. 
Yet  for  this  government,  to  dismay  us, 
You've  call'd  up  anarchy  from  Chaos, 
With  all  the  followers  of  her  school, 
Uproar,  and  rage,  and  wild  misrule  ; 
For  whom  this  rout  of  whigs  disiracted 
And  ravings  dire  of  ev.'ry  crack'd  head; 
These  new-cast  legislative  engines 
Of  country  musters  and  conventions, 
Committees  vile. of  correspondence, 
And  mobs,  whose  tricks  have  almost  undcn's; 
While  reason  fails  to  check  your  course, 
And  loyalty's  kick'd  out  of  doors, 
And  folly,  like  inviting  landlord, 
-Hoists  on  your  poles  her  royal  standard. 
While  the  king's  friends,  in  doleful  dumps, 
Have  worn  their  courage  to  the  stumps, 
And  leaving  George  in  sad  disaster, 
Most  sinfully  deny'd  their  master. 
What  furies  rag'd  when  you  in  sea, 
In  shape  of  Indians,  drown'd  the  tea  ;* 

*  The  persons  who  destroyed  the  cargo  of  tea, 
above  referred  to,  were  disguised  in  the  habit  of 
Indians, 


M'FINGAL.  87 

When  your  gay  sparks,  fatigu'd  to  watch  it, 
Assum'd  the  moggison  and  hatchet, 
With  wampum' d  blankets  hid  their  laces, 
And,  like  their  sweethearts,  prim'd  their  faces: 
While  not  a  red-coat  dar'd  oppose, 
And  scarce  a  tory  show'd  his  nose; 
While  Hutchinson,  for  sure  retreat, 
Manoeuvred  to  his  country  seat, 
And  thence  affrighted  in  the  suds, 
Stole  off  bare-headed  through  the  woods! 
Have  you  not  rous'd  your  mobs  to  join, 
And  make  mandamus-men  resign, 
Call'd  forth  each  duffil^dress'd  curmudgeon, 
With  dirty  trowsers  and  white  bludgeon, 
Forc'd  all  our  councils  through  the  land  ; 
To  yield  their  necks  to  your  command  ; 
While  paleness  marks  their  late  disgraces, 
Through  all  their  rueful  length  of  faces  ? 
Have  you  not  caus'd  as  woful  work. 
In  loyal  city  of  New-York,* 
When' all  the  rabble,  well^cockaded, 
In  triumph  through  the  streets  paraded  ; 
And  mobb'd  the  torics,  scar'd  their  spouses, 

*  There  were  so  rmny  influential  lories  in 'New- 
York,  that  they  at  first  obtained  a  vote  in  favor  of 
the  acts  of  parliament,  and  against  the  proceedings 
of  the  first  congress. 


18  M'FINGAL. 

And  ransack'd  all  the  custom-houses  ; 
Made  such  a  tumult,  bluster,  jarring, 
That,  mid  the  clash  of  tempests  warring, 
Smith's  weathercock,  with  veers  forlorn,* 
Could  hardly  tell  which  way  to  turn  ; 
Burnt  effigies  of  th'  higher  powers, 
Contriv'd  in  planetary  hours, 
As  witches,  with  clay  images, 
Destroy  or  torture  whom  they  please  ; 
Till  fir'd  with  rage,  thj  ungrateful  club, 
Spai'd  not  your  best  friend,  Beelzebub, 
O'erlook'd.  his  favors,  and  forgot 
Therev'rence  due  t'  his  cloven  foot, 
And  in  the  self-same  furnace  frying, 
Burn'd  him,   and  North,   and  Bute,  and  Try- 
on  ?f 

Did  you  not  in  as  vile  and  shallow  way, 
Fright  our  poor  Philadeiphian,  Galloway, J 

*  William  Smith,  formerly  a  lawyer  in  New- 
York. 

•f-  Tryon,  be%g  now  dead,  is  probably  forgot. 
The  reader  must  know  that  he  was  governor  of 
New-York,  and  a  British  general  during  the  war. 
He  had  the  glory  of  burning  the  towns  of  Fairfield 
and  Norwalk,  and  of  issuing  many  proclamations. 
The  other  personages  that  make  up  this  ktltk  ofjisb9 
Bute,  Beelzebub,  and  North,  are  still  living,  and 
therefore  want  no  explanation. 

J  Galloway  began  by  being  a  flaming  patriot. 


M'FINGAL.  89 

Your  congress  when  the  daring  ribald 
Belied,  berated,  and  bescribbled  ; 
What  ropes  and  halters  di~d  you  send, 
Terrific  emblems  of  his  end, 
Till,  lest  he'd  hang  in  more  than  effigy, 
Fled  in  a  fog  the  trembling  refugee  ? 
Now  rising  in  progression  fatal, 
Have  you  not  ventur'd  to  give  battle  ? 
When  treason  chac'tl  our  heroes  troubled, 
With  rusty  gun  and  leathern  doublet, 
'  Turn'd  all  stone  walls,  and  groves, and  bushess 
To  batt'ries  arm'd  with  blunderbusses, 
And  with  deep  wounds,  that  fate  portend, 
GalPd  many  a  regular's  latter  end, 
Drove  them  to  Boston,  as  in  jail, 
Confin'd  without  main  prize  or  bail, 
Were  not  these  deeds  enough  betimes, 
To  heap  the  measure  of  your  crimes, 
But  in  this  loyal  town  and  dwelling, 
You  raise  these  ensigns  of  rebellion  ? 
'Tis  done  ;  fair  mercy  shuts  her  door  : 
And  vengeance  now  shall  sleep  no  more  ; 
Rise  then,  my  friends,  in  terror  rise, 
And  wipe  this  scandal  from  the  skies! 

> 

He  is  one  of  the  few  men,  who  proved  a  traitor  to 
his  country,  wrote  against  it,  and  ran  away, 
H2 


90  M'FINGAL. 

You'll  see  their  Dagon,  though  well  jointed, 
Will  sink  before  the  Lord's  anpinted, 
And  like  old  Jericho's  proud  wall, 
Before  our  ram's  horns  prostrate  fall." 

This  said,  our  'squire,  yet  undismay'd, 
Cali'd  forth  the  constable  to  aid, 
And  bade  him  read,  in  nearer  station, 
The  riot-act  and  proclamation  ;* 
Who,  now  advancing  tow'rd  the  ring, 
Began,  "  Our  sovereign  lord  the  king" — 
When  thousand  clam'rous  tongues  he  hears, 
And  clubs  and  stones  assail  his  ears  ; 
To  fly  was  vain,  to  fight  was  idle, 
J3y  foes  encompass'd  in  the  middle  ; 
In.  stratagem  his  aid  he  found, 
And  fell  right  craftily  to  ground  ; 
Then  crept  to  seek  an  hiding  place, 
Twas  all  he  could,  beneath  a  brace  : 
Where  soon  the  conqu'ring  crew  espied  him, 
And  where  he  luiVd,  they  caught  and  tied  him. 

*  Reading  the  riot-act  lias  the  same  miraculous 
effect  in  America  as  in  England  ;  it  may  convert 
any  collection  of  men  into  a  riot,  and  is  the  tremen 
dous  prologue  to  any  tragedy  that  may  result  from 
the  exercise  of  martial  law. 


M'FINGAL.  91 

At  once  with  resolution  fatal, 
Both  whigs  and  tories  rush'd  to  battle  ; 
Instead  of  v/eapons  either  band 
Seiz'd  on  such  arms  as  came  to  hand. 
And  as  fam'd  Ovid*  paints  the  adventures 
Of  wrangling  Lapithae  and  Centaurs, 
Who  at  their  feast,  by  Bacchus  led, 
Threw  bottles  at  each  other's  head, 
And  these  arms  failing  in  their  scuffles, 
Attack'd  with  handirons,  tongs,  and  shovels  ; 
So  clubs  and  billets,  stages  and  stones, 
Met  fierce,  encountering  every  sconce, 
And  cover'd  o'er -faith  knobs  and  pains 
Each  void  receptacle  for  brains  ; 
Their -clamors  rend  the  hills  around, 
And  earth  rebellows  with  the  sound  ; 
And  many  a  groan  increas'd  the  cJin 
From  broken  nose  and  batter'd  shin. 
M*  Fin  gal  rising  at  the  word, 
Drew  forth  his  old  militia  sword  ; 
Thrice  cried,   "  King  George,"  as  efst  in  dis 
tress 

Romancing  heroes  did  their  mistress, 
And,  brandishing  the  blade  in  air, 
Struck  terror  through  th*  opposing  war, 

*  "  Ovid's  Metamorphoses,  book  xii." 


92  M'FINGAL. 

The  whigs,  unsafe  within  the  wind 
Of  such  commotion,  shrunk'behind. 
With  whirling  steel  around  address'd, 
Fierce  through  their  thickest  throng  hepress'd, 
(Who  roll'd  on  either  side  in  arch, 
Like  read-sea  waves  in  Israel's  march) 
And  like  a  meteor  rushing  through, 
Struck  on  their  pole  a  vengeful  blow. 
Around,  the  whigs,  of  clubs  and  stones 
Discharg'd  whole  vollies  in  platoons, 
That  o'er  in  whistling  terror  fly  ; 
But  not  a  foe  dares  venture  nigh. 
And  now,  perhaps,  with  conquest  crown'd, 
Our 'squire  had  fell'd  their  pole  to  ground, 
Had  not  some  pow'r,  a  whig  at  heart, 
Descended  down  and  took  their  part; 
(Whether  'twere  Pallas,  Mars,  or  Iris, 
'Tis  scarce  worth  while  to  make  enquiries,) 
Who  at  the  nick  of  time  alarming, 
Assum'd  the  graver  form  of  chairman; 
Address'd  a  whig,  in  every  scene 
The  stoutest  wrestler  on  the  green, 
And  pointed  where  the  spade  was  found, 
Late  us'd  to  fix  the  pole  in  ground, 
.And  urg'd  with  equal  arms  and  might  » 
To  dare  our  'squire  to  single  fight.* 

*  «<  The  learned  reader  will  readily  observe  the 


M'FINGAL.  §S 

The  whig,  thus  arm'd,  untaught  to  yield, 

Advanc'd  tremendous  to  the  field ; 

Nor  did  M'Fingal  shun  the  foe, 

But  stood  to  brave  the  desp'rate  blow; 

While  all  the  party  gaz'd,  suspended, 

To  see  the  deadly  combat  ended. 

And  Jove  in  equal  balance  weigh'd 

The  sword  against  the  brandished  spade  ; 

He  weigh'd  ;  but  lighter  than  a  dream, 

The  sword  flew  up  and  kick'd  the  beam. 

Our  'squire  on  tiptoe  rising  fair, 

Lifts  high  a  noble  stroke  in  air, 

Which  hung  not,  but  like  dreadful  engines 

Descended  on  the  foe  in  vengeance. 

But  ah  !  in  danger  with  dishonor, 

The  sword  perfidious  fails  its  owner: 

That  sword,  which  oft  had  stood  its  ground 

By  huge  train  bands  encompass'd  round,* 

Or  on  the  bench,  with  blade  right  loyal, 

Had  won  the  day  at  many  a  trial, 

Of  stones  and  clubs  had  brav'd  th*  alarms, 

Shrunk  from  these  new  vulcanian  arms. 

a^usions  in  this  scene  to  the  single  combat  of  Paris 
and  Menelaus  in  Homer;  ./Eneas  and  Turnus  in 
Virgil ;  and  Michael  and  Satan  in  Miltcta." 

*  A  train  bandit  a  captain's  company  in  the 
tia. 


94t  M'FINGAL. 

The  spade  so  temper'd  from  the  sledge, 
Nor  keen  nor  solid  harm'd  its  edge, 
Now  met  it  from  its-arm  of  might 
Descending  with  steep  force  to  smite  ; 
The  blade  snapp'd  short — and  from  his  hand 
With, rust  embrown'd  the  glitt'ring  sand. 
Swift  turn'd  M'Fingai  at  the  view, 
And  call'd  for  aid  th'  attendant  crew, 
In  vain  ;  the  tories  all  had  run, 
When  scarce  the  fight  was  well  begun  j 
Their  setting  wigs  he  saw  decreas'd, 
Far  in  the  horizon  tow'rd  the  west. 
Amaz'd  he  view'd  the  shameful  sight, 
And  saw  no  refuge  but  in  flight: 
But  age  unwieldy  check' d  his  pace, 
Though  fear  had  wing'd  his  flying  race ; 
For  not  a  trifling  prize  at  stake  ; 
No  less  than  great  M'FingalS  back. 
With  legs  and  arms  he  work'd  his  course, 
Like  rider  that  outgoes  his  horse, 
And  labored  hard  to  get  away,  as 
Old  Satan  *  struggling  on  through  chaos: 
Till,  looking  back,  he  spied  in  rear 
The  spade  arm'd  chief  advanc'd  too  near. 
Then  stopp'd  and  sciz'd  a  stone  that  lay 
An  ancient  land-mark  near  the  way ; 
*  In  Milton. 


M{'FINGAL.  05 

Nor  shall  we,  as  old  bards  have  done, 

Affirm  it  weigh' d  an  hundred  ton ; 

But  such  a  stone  as  at  a  shift 

A  modern  might  suffice  to  lift. 

Since  men,  to  credit  their  enigmas, 

Are  dwindled  down  to  dwarfs  and  pigmies ; 

And  giants,  exii'd  with  their  cronies, 

To  Brobdingnags  and  Patagonies. 

But  while  our  hero  turn'd  him  round, 

And  stoop'd  to  raise  it  from  the  ground, 

The  deadly  spade  discharged  a  blow 

Tremendous  on  his  rear  below: 

His  bent  knee  fail'd,  and,  void  of  strength, 

Streich'd  on  the  ground  his  manly  length; 

Like  ancient  oak  o'erturn'd  he  lay, 

Ortow'rs  to  tempests  fall'n  a  prey, 

And  more  things  else— but  all  men  know  'em? 

If  slightly  vers'd  in  epic  poem. 

At  once  the  crew  at  this  sad  crisis, 

Fall  on  and  bind  him  ere  he  rises, 

And  with  loud  shouts  and  joyful  soul 

Conduct  him  prisoner  to  the  pole. 

When  now  the  mob  in  lucky  hour 
Had  got  their  en'mies  in  their  pow'r, 
They  first  proceed  by  wise  command, 
To  take  the  constable  in  hand ; 


96  M'FINGAL. 

Then  from  the  pole's  sublimes!  top 
They  speeded  to  let  down  the  rope, 
At  once  its  other  endjn  haste  bind, 
And  make  it  fast  upon  his  waistband, 
Till,  like  the  earth,  as  stretch'd  on  tenter, 
He  hung  self-balanc'd  on  his  centre. 
Then  upwards,  all  hands  hoisting  sail, 
They  swung  him,  like  a  keg  of  ale, 
Till  to  the  pinnacle  so  fair, 
He  rose  like  meteor  in  the  air. 
As  Socrates  *  of  old  at  first  did, 
To  aid  philosophy,  get  hoisted, 
And  found  his  thoughts  flow  strangely  clear, 
Swung  in  a  basket  in  mid-air  : 
Our  culprit  thus  in  purer  sky, 
With  like  advantage  rais'd  his  eye  ; 
And  locking  forth  in  prospect  wide, 
His  tory  errors  clearly  spy'd, 
And  from  his  elevated  station, 
With  bawling  voice  began  addressing, 
tf(  Good  gentlemen,  and  friends,  and  kin, 
For  heav'n'ssake  hear,  if  not  for  mine  ! 
I  here  renounce  the  Pope,  the  Turks, 
The  king,  the  devil,  and  all  their  works ; 

*  bocrates  is  represented  in  Ariatopbanes's  co 
medy  of  the  clouds,  as  hoisted  in  a  basket  to  aid 
contemplation. 


MCFINGAL,  9 

And  will,  set  me  but  once  at  ease, 

Turn  whig  or  Christian,  what  you  please  ; 

And  always  mind  your  laws  as  justly  ; 

Should  I  live  long  as  old  Methus'lah, 

I'll  never  join  with  British  rage, 

Nor  help  lord  North,  or  general  Gage, 

Nor  lift  my  gun  in  future  rights, 

Nor  take  away  youFcharter'd  rights  ; 

Nor  overcome  your  new-rais'd  levies, 

Destroy  your  towns,  nor  burn  your  navies  ; 

Nor  cut  your  poles  down  while  I've  breath, 

Though  rais'd  more  thickthan  hatchel-teeth 

But  leave  king  George  and  all  his  elves 

To  do  their  conqu'ring  work  themselves." 

This  said,  they  low  Yd  him  down  in  state, 
Spread  at  all  points,  like  falling  cat ; 
But  took  a  vote  first  on  the  question, 
That  they'd  accept  this  full  confession, 
And  to  their  fellowship  and  favor 
Restore  him  on  his  good  behaviour. 
Not  so,  our  'Squire  submits  to  rule, 
But  stood  heroic  as  a  mule* 
"  You'll  find  it  all  in  vain,'*  quoth  he, 
"  To  play  your  rebel  tricks  on  me. 
All  punishments  the  world  can  render, 
Serve  only  to  provoke  th'  offender; 
I 


98  M'FINGAL. 

The  will's  confirmed  by  treatment  horrid, 

As  hides  grow  harder  when  they're  curried; 

No  man  e'er  felt  the  halter  draw, 

With  good  opinion  of  tlielaw; 

Or  held,  in  method  orthrodox, 

His  love  of  justice  in  the  stocks; 

Or  faii'd  to  lose  by  sheriff's  shears 

At  once  his  loyalty  and  ears. 

Have  you  made  Murray  look  less  big, 

Or  smoak'd  old  Williams  to  a  whig? 

Did  our  mob'dOl'ver*  quit  his  station, 

*  This  is  the  "  chief  judge  Oliver"  of  the' first 
canto,  in  whose  appointment  the  sagacious  M'Fin- 
gal  perceive?  that  heaven  had  no  hand.  One 
ground  of  the  quarrel  between  the  British  govern 
ment  and  the  people  of  Massachusetts  was,  the  act 
by  which  the  judges  of  the  colony  were  rendered  in 
dependent  of  the  colony  for  their  salary,  as  well  as 
for  their  places  ;  which  was  contrary  to  ancient 
usage.  When  the  people  felt  these  particular  acts 
of  oppression  from  a  power  three  thousand  miles 
distant,  their  cnly  method  of  redress  was,  Jo  prevent 
any  person  from  accepting  an  office,  or  from  exer 
cising  its  functions,  under  such  an  act.  This  ex* 
pedient  had  been  successful  in  the  case  of  the  stamp- 
act  a  ftw  years  before  ;  2nd  the  people  now  applied 
to  judge  Oliver,  requesting  him  to  resign  an  office, 
the  new  arrangement  of  which  so  manifestly  struck 
at  the  foundation  of  their  liberty.  The  judge  pro- 
iniscd  to  resign  his  place  ;  but  afterwards  claimed 


M'FINGAL.  99 

Or  heed  his  vows  of  resignation? 
Has  Rivington,  *  in  dread  of  stripes, 
Ceas'd  lying  since  you  stole  his  types? 
And  caft  you  think  my  faith  will  alter, 
By  tarring,  whipping,  or  the  halter  ? 
I'll  stand  the  worst ;  for  recompence 
I  trust  king  George  and  providence. 
And  when,  our  conquest  gain'd,  I  come, 
Array'd  in  law  and  terror,  home, 
You'll  rue  this  inauspicious  morn, 
And  curse  the  day  you  e'er  were  born, 
In  Job's  high  style  of  imprecations, 
With  ail  his  plagues,  without  his  patience." 

Meanwhile,  beside  the  pole,  the  guard 
A  bench  of  justice  had  prepared, 
Where  sitting  round  in  awful  sort, 
The  grand  committee  hold  their  court ; 

that  "  highest  privilege  of  speech,"  which  M'Fingal 
has  so  well  vindicated  in  favor  of  general  Gage. 

*  Here  again  is  an  old  acquaintance  of  the  first 
canto.  His  paper,  entitled  the  Royal  Gazette,  had, 
by  a  strange  combination  of  circumstances,  obtain 
ed  the  name  through  the  whole  country,  of  the  Ly+ 
ing  Gazette*  It  was  on  this  account  that  the  peo 
ple  at  a  certain  time  sent  a  committee  to  take  away 
his  types.  But  this  measure  was  as  ineffectual  as 
those  that  were  used  with  Murray,  Williams,  Oli 
ver,  &d 


10©  M'FINGAL. 

While  all  the  crew,  in  silent  awe, 

Wait  from  their  lips  the  lore  of  law. 

Few  moments,  with  deliberation, 

They  hold  the  solemn  consultation, 

When  soon  in  judgment  all  agree, 

And  cleik  declares  the  dread  decree: 

"  That  'Squire  M'Fingal  having  grown 

The  vilest  tory  in  the  town, 

And  now  on  full  examination, 

Convicted  by  his  own  confession, 

Finding  no  tokens  of  repentance, 

This  court  proceed  to  render  sentence  : 

That  first  the  mob  a  slip-knot  single 

Tie  round  the  neck  of  said  M'Fingal ; 

And  in  due  form  do  tar  him  next, 

And  feather,  as  the  law  directs; 

Then  through  the  town  attendant  ride  him, 

In  cart,  with  constable  beside  him  ; 

And  having  held  him  up  to  shame, 

Bring  to  the  pole  from  whence  he  came." 

Forthwith  the  crowd  proceed  to  deck, 
With  halter'd  noose  M'FingaPs  neck, 
While  he  in  peril  of  his  soul, 
Staod  ty'd  half  hanging  to  the  pole  ! 
Then  lifting  high  the  pond'rous  jar, 
Pour'd  o'er  his  head  the  sinoaking  tar  : 


M'FINGAL. 

With  less  profusion  erst  was  spread 

The  Jewish  oil  on  royal  head, 

That  down  his  beard  and  vestments  ran, 

And  cover'd  all  his  outward  man. 

As  when  (so  Claudian  sings*)  the  gods 

And  earth-born  giants  fell  at  odds, 

The  stout  Enceladus  in  malice 

Tore  mountains  up  to  throw  at  Pallas; 

And  as  he  held  them  o'er  his  head, 

The  river,  from  their  fountains  fed, 

Pour'd  down  his  back  its  copious  tide, 

And  wore  its  channels  in  his  hide : 

So,  from  the  high-rais'd  urn,  the  torrents 

Spread  down  his  side  their  various  currents 

His  flowing  wig,  as  next  the  brim, 

First  met  and  drank  the  sable  stream ; 

Adown  his  visage,  stern  and  grave, 

RolTd  and  adher'd  the  viscid  wave; 

With  arms  depending  as  hp  stood, 

Each  cufFcapacious  holds  the  flood; 

From  nose  and  chin's  remqtest  end, 

The  tarry  icicles  depend  ; 

Till  all  o'erspread,  with  colours  gay, 

He  glitter'd  to  the  western  ray, 

Like  sleet-bound  trees  in  wintry  skies, 

*  "  Claudi'an's  Gigantomachia. " 
12 


102  M'FINGAL. 

Or  Lapland  idol  carv'd  in  ice. 

And  now  the  feather-bag  displayed, 

Is  wav'd  in  triumph  o'er  his  head, 

And  spread  him  o'er  with  feathers  missive, 

And  down  upon  the  tar  adhesive  : 

Not  Maia's  son,  with  wings  for  ears, 

Such  plumes  ^around  his  visage  wears ; 

Nor  Milton's  six-wing'd  angel  gathers 

Such  superfluity  of  feathers; 

Till  all  complete  appears  our  'Squire 

Like  gorgon  or  chimera  dire; 

Nor  more  could  boast  on  *  Plato's  plan 

To  rank  amid  the  race  of  man, 

Or  prove  his  claim  to  human  nature, 

As  a  two-legg'd  unfeather'd  creature. 

Then  on  the  two-wheel'd  car  of  state, 
They  rais'd  our  grand  duumvirate. 
And  as  at  Rome  a  like  committee, 
That  found  an  owl  within  their  city, 
With  solemn  rites  and  sad  processions, 
At  ev'ry  shrine  perform'd  lustrations ; 
And  lest  infection  should  abound, 
From  prodigy  with  face  so  round', 
All  Rome  attends  him  through  the  street, 

*  "  Alluding  to  Plato's  famous  definition  of  man, 
"  Animal  lipes^  tmffumif. 


M'FINGAL.  103 

In  triumph  to  his  country-seat; 
With  like  devotion  all  the  choir 
Paraded  round  our  feather* d  'Squire  ; 
In  front  the  martial  music  comes 
Of  horns  and  fiddles,  fifes  and  drums, 
With  jingling  sound  of  carnage  bells, 
And  treble  creak  oFrusted  wheels; 
Behind,  the  crowd,  in  lengthened  row, 
With  grave  procession,  clos'd  the  show  j 
And  at  fit  periods  ev'ry  throat 
Combin'd  in  universal  sh  out, 
And  hail'd  great  liberty  in  chorus, 
Or  bawPd,  confusion  to  the  tories. 
Not  louder  storm  the  welkin  braves, 
From  clamors  of  conflicting  waves  ; 
Less  dire  in  Lybi  an  wilds  the  noise, 
When  rav'ning  lions  lift  their  voice  ; 
Or  triumphs  at  town-meetings  made, 
On  passing  votes  to  reg'late  trade.* 

Thus  having  borne  them  round  the  town, 
Last  at  the  pale  they  set  them  down, 

*  Such  votes  were  frequently  passed  at  town- 
meetings  ;  the  object  of  which  was,  to  prevent  the 
augmentation  of  prices  on  the  necessaries  of  life, 
and  thus  to  obviate  the  effects  of  the  depreciation 
of  the  paper-money. 


104  M'FINGAL. 

And  toward  the  tavern  take  their  way, 
To  end  in  mirth  the  festal  day. 

And  now  the  mob,  dispers'd  and  gone, 
Left  'Squire  and  constable  alone. 
The  constable,  in  rueful  case, 
Lean'd  sad  and  solemn  o'er  a  brace. 
And  fast  beside  him,  cheek  by  jowl, 
Stuck  'Squire  M'Fingal  'gainst  the  pole, 
Glued  by  the  tar,  t'  his  rear  apply'd, 
Like  barnacle  on  vessel's  side. 
But  though  his  body  lack'd  physician, 
His  spirit  was  in  worse  condition. 
He  found  his  fears  of  whips  and  ropes, 
By  many  a  drachm  outweigh'd  his  hopes. 
As  men  in  gaol  without  main  prize, 
View  ev'ry  thing  with  other  eyes ; 
And  ail  goes  wrong  in  church  and  state, 
Seen  through  perspective  of  the  grate  ; 
So  now  M'Fingal's  second  sight 
Beheld  all  things  in  diff'rent  light ; 
His  visual  nerve,  well  purg'd  with  tar, 
Saw  all  the  coming  scenes  of  war. 
As  his  prophetic  soul  grew  stronger, 
He  found  he  could  hold  in  no  longer : 
First  from  the  pole,  as  fierce  he  shook, 
His  wig  from  pitchy  durance  broke, 


M'FINGAL.  105 

His  mouth  unglu'd,  his  feathers  fluttered, 

His  tarr'd  skirts  crack'd,  and  thus  he  utter'd  ; 

"Ah,  Mr.  Constable,  in  vain 

We  strive  'gainst  wind,  and  tide,  and  rain  ! 

Behold  my  doom  !  this  feather'd  omen 

Portends  what  dismal  times  are  coming. 

Now  future  scenes  before  my  eyes, 

And  second-sighted  forms  arise'; 

I  hear  a  voice  that  calls  away, 

And  cries,  The  whigs  will  win  the  day  ; 

My  beck'ning  genius  gives  command, 

An d  bids  us  fly  the  fatal  land ; 

Wliere,  changing  name  and  constitution, 

Rebellion  turns  to  revolution, 

While  loyalty,  oppress'd  in  tears," 

Stands  trembling  for  his  neck  and  ears. 

Go,  summon  all  our  brethren,  greeting, 

To  muster  at  our  usual  meeting. 

There  my  prophetic  voice  shall  warn  'em, 

Of  all  things  future  that  concern  'em, 

And  scenes  disclose,  on  which,  my  friend, 

Their  conduct  and  their  lives  depend  : 

There  I — but  first  'tis  more  of  use, 

From  this  vile  pole  to  set  me  loose  ;  — 

Then  go  with  cautious  steps  and  steady. 

While  I  steer  home  and  make  all  ready." 

END  OF  THE  THIRD  CANTO. 


M'FINGAL. 

CANTO  FOURTH. 

The  Vision. 


IN  ow  night  came  down,  and  rose  full  soon 
That  patroness  of  rogues,  the  moon, 
Beneath  whose  kind,  protecting  ray, 
Wolves,  brute  and  human,  prowl  for  prey. 
The  honest  world  all  snored  in  chorus, 
While  owls  and  ghosts,  ayd  thieves  and  tories, 
Whom  erst  the  mid-day  sun  had  aw'd, 
Crept  from  their  lurking  holes  abroad. 
On  cautious  hinges,  slow  and  stiller 
Wide  op'd  the  great  M'Frngal's  *  cellar, 
Where,  shut  from  prying  eyes  in  cluster, 
The  tory  Pandemonium  muster. 
Their  chiefs  all  sitting  round  descry'd  are, 
On  kegs  of  ale,  and  seats  of  cider ; 

*  "  Panditur  interia  domus  omnipotentis  Olympi, 
Conciliumq  ;  vocat  Divum  patei  atq  ;  hominura  rex 
Sideream  in  scdem."  Lib.  10.  ./Eneid, 


10$  M'FINGAL. 

When  first  M'Fingal,  dimly  seen, 
Rose  solemn  from  the  turnip-bin. 
Nor  yet  his  *  form  had  wholly  lost 
The  original  brightness  it  could  boast, 
Nor  less  appeared  than  justice  Quorum, 
In  feather'd  majesty  before  'em. 
Adown  his  tar-streak'd  visage  clear 
Fell  glistening  fast  th'  indignant  tear, 
And  thus  his  voice,  in  mournful  wise, 
Pursu'd  the  prologue  of  his  sighs : 

"  Brethren  and  friends,  the  glorious  band 
Of  loyalty  in  rebel  land  ! 
It  was  not  thus  you've  seen  me  sitting 
Returned  in  triumph  from  town  meeting, 
When  blust'ring  whigs  were  put  to  stand, 
And  votes  obey'd  my  guiding  hand, 
And  new  commissions  pleas'd  my  eyes  ; 
Blest  days,  but,  ah,  no  more  to  rise  ! 
Alas  !  against  my  better  light 
And  optics  sure  of  second-sight, 
My  stubborn  soul,  in  error  strong, 
Had  faith  in  Hutchinson  too  long. 

O  ' 

See  what  brave  trophk'S  still  we  bring 

*  " His  form  had  not  yet  lost 

All  its  original  brightness,  nor  appear'd 

JLess  than  archangel  ruin'd."  Milton. 


M'FINGAL.  10 

From  all  our  battles  for  the  king  ; 
And  yet  these  plagues,  now  past  before  us, 
Are  but  our  entering-wedge  of  sorrows. 
I  see,  in  glooms  tempestuous,  stand 
The  cloud  impending  o'er  the  land  ; 
That  cloud,  which  still  beyond  their  hopes 
Serves  all  our  orators  with  tropes, 
Which,  though  from  our  own  vapors  fed, 
Shall  point  its  thunders  on  our  head  ! 
I  see  the  mob,  beflipp'd  in  taverns, 
Hunt  us,  like  wolves,  through  wilds  and  cav 
erns, 

What  dungeons  rise  t'  alarm  our  fears, 
What  horse-whips  whistle  round  our  ears  ! 
Tar,  yet  in  embryo  in  the  pine, 
Shall  run,  on  tones'  backs  to  shine  ; 
Trees  rooted  fair  in  groves  of  sallows  ; 
Are  growing  for  our  future  gallows  ; 
And  geese  unhatch'd,  when  pluck' d  in  fray, 
Shall  rue  the  feathering  of  that  day. 
For  me,  before  these  fatal  days, 
I  mean  to  fly  th*  accursed  place, 
And  follow  omens,  which  of  late 
Have  warn'd  me  of  impending  fate  ; 
Yetpass'd  unnotic'd  o'er  my  view, 
Till  sad  conviction  prov'd  them  true; 
K 


110  M'FINGAL. 

As  prophecies,  of  best  intent, 
Are  only  heeded  in  th'  event. 

"For  iate  in  visions  of  the  night 
The  gallows  stood  before  my  sight ; 
I  saw  its  ladder  heav'd  on  end  ; 
1  saw  the  deadly  rope  descend  ; 
And  in  its  noose,  that  wav'ring  swang, 
Friend  *  Malcolm  hung,  or  seem'd  to  hang. 
How  chang'd  from  him,  who,  bold  as  lion, 
Stood  aid-de-camp  to  governor  Tryon  ; 
Made  rebels  vanish  once,  like  witches, 
And  sav'd  his  life,  but  dropped  his  breeches  ! 
I  scarce  had  made  a  fearful  bow, 
And  trembling  ask/d  him,  "  How  d'ye  do  ?*' 
When,  lifting  up  his  eyes  so  wide, 

*  "  Malcolm  was  a  Scotchman,  aid  to  governor 
Tryon  I'TI  his  expedition  against  the  regulators  in 
North-Carolina,  where,  in  the  engagement,  he  met 
with  the  accident  of  the  breeches  here  allujjed  to. 
He  was  afterwards  an  under-officer  of  the  customs 
in  Boston,  where,  becoming  obnoxious,  he  was  tar 
red,  featheied,  and  halt  hanged  by  the  mob,  about 
the  year  1774.  After  this,  he  was  neglected  and 
avoided  by  his  own  party,  and  thinking  his  merits 
and  sufferings  unrewarded,  appeared  tqually  malev- 
olent  against  whigsand  tones." 

*'  The  pretences  of  the  higblanders  to  prophe 
cy  by  second  sight  are  too  well  known  to  need  an 
explanation.'' 


M'FINGAL,  111 

(Fiis  eyes  alone — his  hands  were  ty'd  :) 

With  feeble  voice,  as  spirits  use, 

Now  almost  choak'd  with  gripe  of  noose  ; 

*  "  Ah  !  fly,  my  friend,"  he  cry'd,  "escape, 

And  keep  yourself  from  this  sad  scrape  ; 

Enough  you've  talk'd,  and  writ,  and  plann'd  ; 

The  whigs  have  got  the  upper  hand. 

Dame  fortune's  wheel  has  turn'd  so  short, 

It  plung'd  us  fairly  in  the  dirt  ; 

Could  mortal  arm  our  fears  have  ended, 

This  arm  (and  shook  it)  had  defended. 

But  longer  now  'tis  vain  to  stay  ; 

See,  ev'n  the  regulars  run  away  : 

Wait  not  till  things  grow  desperater, 

For  hanging  is  no  laughing  matter  ; 

This  might  your  graadsires'  fortunes  tell  you 

on, 

Who  both  were  hang'd  the  last  rebellion  ; 
Adventure,  then,  no  longer  stay, 
But  call  your  friends,  and  run  away. 
For  lo,  through  deepest  glooms  of  night, 
I  come  to  aid  thy  second  sight, 
Disclose  the  plagues  that  round  us  wait, 
And  wake  the  dark  decrees  of  fate. 

*  There  is  in  this  scene  a  general  allusion  to  the 
appearance  and  speech  of  Hector's  ghojt,  in  the 
second  book  of  the  jEncid. 


112  M'FINGAL 

Ascend  this  ladder,  whence,  unfuiTd, 
The  curtain  opes  oft'  other  world  ; 
For  here  new  worlds  their  scenes  unfold, 
Seen  from  this  back-door  of  the  old.* 
As  when  ./Eneas  risqu'd  his  life, 
Like  Orpheus  venturing  for  his  wife, 
And  bore  in  show  his  mortal  carcase, 
Through  realms  of  Erebus  and  Orcus, 
Then  in  the  happy  fields  Elysian, 
Saw  all  his  embryo  sons  in  vision  ; 
As  shown  by  great  archangel,  Michael, 
Old  Adam  saw  the  world's  whole  sequel, 
And  from  the  mount's  extended  space, 
The  rising  fortunes  of  his  race  ; 
So  from  this  stage  shalt  thou  behold 
The  war  its  coming  scenes  unfold, 
Rais'd  by  my  arm  to  meet  thine  eye  ; 
My  Adam,  thou;  thine  angel,  I. 
But  first  my  pow'r,  for  visions  f  bright, 
Must  cleanse  from  clouds  thy  mental  sight, 
Remove  the  dim  suffusions  spread, 
Which  bribes  and  saPiies  there  have  bred  ; 

*  That  the  gallows  is  the  back-door  leading  from 
this  to  the  other  world,  is  a  perfectly  new  idea  in 
epic  poetry  ;  unless  the  hint  might  have  been  taken 
from  the  rear-trumpet  of  fame  in  Hudibras. 

f  "  See  Milton's  Paradise  Lost,  book  n." 


M'FINGAL.  113 

And,  from  the  well  of  Bute  infuse 
Three  genuine  drops  of  highland  dews, 
To  purge,  like  euphracy  and  rue, 
Thine  eyes,  for  much  thou  hast  to  view. 

"  Now,  freed  from  tory  darkness,  raise 
Thy  head,  and  spy  the  coming  days  ; 
Forlo,  before  our  second  sight, 
The  continent  ascends  in  light ; 
From  north  to  south,  what  gath'ring  swarms 
Increase  the  pride  of  rebel  arms  ! 
Through  ev'ry  state,  our  legions  brave 
Speed  gallant  marches  to  the  grave, 
Of  battling  whigs  the  frequent  prize, 
While  rebel  trophies  stain  the  skies. 
Behold,  o'er  northern  realms  afar,* 

*  Nothing  less  than  the  whole  history  of  the 
American  war  would  be  sufficient,  completely  to  il. 
lustrate  the  merits  of  this  single  paragraph.  Mal 
colm,  the  gallows-taught  prophet,  in  preparing  the 
mind  of  M'Fingal  to  contemplate,  with  proper  in* 
telligence,  the  various  scenes  that  are  to  rise  succes 
sively  to  view  in  the  course  of  the  vision,  glances 
over  the  continent,  and  mentions  in  this  passage 
the  principal  scenes  of  action,  from  the  expedition 
into  Canada  in  1775,  to  the  capture  of  lord  Corn- 
wallis  in  1781,  The  concluding  part  of  his  speech 
is  therefore  a  kind  of  argument  to  this  whole  book 
of  vision  j  in  which  the  same  objects  are  unfolded 
K2 


114  M'FINGAL. 

Extend  the  kindling  flames  of  war  ! 
Sec  farn'd  St.  John's  and  Montreal, 
Doom'd  by  Montgom'ry's  arm  to  fall  1 
Where  Hudson  with  majestic  sway, 
Through  hills  disparted  ploughs  his  way, 
Fate  spreads  on  Bemus'  heights  alarms, 
And  pours  destruction  on  our  arms; 
There  Bennington's  ensanguin'd  plain, 
And  Stony-Point,  the  prize  of  Wayne. 
Behold  near  Dei'ware's  icy  roar, 
Where  morning  dawns  on  Trenton's  shore, 
While  Hessians  spread  their  Christmas  feasts, 
Rush  rude  these  uninvited  guests ; 
Nor  aught  avail,  to  whigs  a  prize, 
Their  martial  w makers'  grisly  size. 
On  Princeton  plains  our  heroes  yield, 
And  spread  in  flight  the  vanquish'd  fie!d, 

at  large,  with  their  attendant  circumstances  ;  in 
order  that  they  may  make  a  proper  impression  en 
the  elevated  mind  of  the  grtat  M'Fingal.  It  i$ 
thus  that  cur  poet,  like  Homer,  in  his  Iliad,  seizes 
all  occasions  to  do  honor  to  his  principal  hero.  By 
suppOu.:r<g  him  already  possessed  of  ail  natural  and 
political  knowledge  that  could  be  obtained  by  mor 
tal  study  and  experience,  he  makes  him,  like  Achil 
les,  capable  of  receiving  ins' ruction  only  by  the 
agency  of  a  snper-teirestrial  power.  The  advisers 
of  Achilles  descended  from  the-  ^kie1?,  that  of  M'Finu 
gal  is  mounted  towards  the  nkks. 


M'flNGAL.  115 

While  fear  to  Mawhood's  heels  puts  on 
Wings,  wide  as  worn  by  Maia's  son. 
Behold  the  Pennsylvanian  shore, 
Enrich'd.  with  streams  of  British  gore; 
Where  many  a  vet'ran  chief  in  bed 
Of  honor  rests  his  slumbering  head, 
And  in  soft  vales,  in  land  of  foes, 
Their  wearied  virtue  finds  repose. 
See  plund'ring  Dunmore's  negro  band 
Fly  headlong  from  Virginia's  strand; 
And  far  on  southern  hills,  our  cousins, 
The  Scotch  M'Donalcls,  fall  by  dozens; 
Or  where  King's  Mountain  lifts  its  head, 
Ourruin'd  bands  in  triumph  led! 
Behold  o'er  Tarleton's  blusfring  train, 
The  rebels  stretch  the  captive  chain  ! 
Afar  near  Eutaw's  fatal  springs, 
Descending  Vict'ry  spreads  her  wings  ! 
Through  all  the  land  in  various  chase, 
We  hunt  the  rainbow  of  success ; 
In  vain  !  their  chief,  superior  stii!, 
Eludes  our  force  with  Fabian  skill; 
Or  swift  descending  by  surprise, 
Like  Prussia's  eagle,  sweeps  the  prize." 

I  look'd;  nor  yet,  opprcst  with  fears, 
Gave  credit  to  my  ey^s  or  curs, 


116  M'FINGAL. 

But  held  the  views  an  empty  dream, 
On  Berkley's  immaterial  scheme; 
And  pond'ring  sad,  with  troubled  breast 
At  length  my  rising  doubts  express'd. 

"  Ah,  whither,  thus  by  rebels  smitten, 
Is  fled  th'  omnipotence  of  Britain, 
Or  fail'd  his  usual  guard  to  keep, 
Gone  truanting  or  fall'n  asleep  ;* 
As  Baal  his  prophets  left  confounded, 
And  bawling  vot'ries  gash'd  and  wounded.  ? 
Did  not,  retir'd  to  bow'rs  Elysian, 
Great  Mars  leave  with  her  his  commission, 
And  Neptune  erst,  in  treaty  free, 
Give  up  dominion  o'er  the  sea  ? 
Else  where's  the  faith  of  fam'd  orations, 
Address,  debate,  and  proclamations, 
Or  courtly  sermon,  laureat  ode, 
And  ballads  on  the  wat'ry  god  ; 

*  "  Cry  aloud  ;  for  he  is  a  god  ;  either  he  is  talk 
ing,  or  he  is  pursuing,  or  he  is  in  a  journey,  or 
peradventure  he  fkepcth.  And  they  cried  aloud, 
and  cut  themselves  after  their  manner  with  knives 
and  lancets."  I  Kings,  chap,  xviii.  The  other 
original  subjects  alluded  to  in  the  subsequent  part 
of  this  speech,  may  be  found  by  the  curious  reader 
in  the  various  and  immortal  works  mentioned  by  the 
poet  in  the  text. 


M'FINGAL.  117 

With  whose  high  strains  great  George  enriches 

His  eloquence  of  gracious  speeches? 

Not  faithful  to  our  highland  eyes, 

These  deadly  forms  of  vision  rise  ; 

But  sure  some  whig-inspiring^sprite 

Now  palms  delusion  on  our  sight.    5 

I'd  scarcely  trust  a  tale  so  vain, 

Should  revelation  prompt  the  strain, 

Or  Ossian's  ghost  the  scenes  rehearse, 

In  all  the  melody  of  *  Erse." 

"  Too  long,"  quoth  Malcolm,  with  confusion, 
"  You've  dwelt  already  in  delusion, 
As  sceptics,  of  all  fools  the  chief, 
H-jld  faith  in  creeds  of  unbelief. 
I  come  to  draw  thy  veil  aside 
Of  error,  prejudice,  and  pride. 
Fools  love  deception,  but  the  wise 
Prefer  sad  truth  to  pleasing  lies. 
For  know  those  hopes  can  ne'er  succeed 
That  trust  on  Britain's  breaking  reed. 
For  weak'ning  long  from  bad  to  worse, 
By  fatal  atrophy  of  purse, 
She  feels  at  length  with  trembling  heart, 
Her  foes  have  found  her  mortal  part. 

*  "  Erse,  the  ancient   Scottish  language,  in 
which  Ossian  wrote  his  poems." 


118  M'FINGAL. 

As  fam'd  Achilles,  dipt  by  Thetis 

In  Styx,  as  sung  in  ancient  ditties, 

Grew  all  case-harden'd  o'er  like  steel, 

Invulnerable,  save  his  heel, 

And  laugh'd  at  swords  and  spears,  as  squibs, 

And  all  diseases,  but  the  kibes  ; 

Yet  met  at  last  his  fatal  wound, 

By  Paris'  arrow  nail'd  to  th'  ground  ; 

So  Britain's  boasted  strength  deserts, 

In  these  her  empire's  utmost  skirts, 

Remov'd  beyond  her  fierce  impressions, 

And  atmosphere  of  omnipresence  ; 

Nor  to  these  shores'  remoter  ends, 

Her  dwarf  omnipotence  extends  ; 

Whence  in  this  turn  of  things  so  strange, 

Tis  time  our  principles  to  change. 

For  vain  that  boasted  faith,  which  gathers 

No  perquisite,  but  tar  and  feathers, 

No  pay,  but  whigs'  insulting  malice, 

And  no  promotion  but  the  gallows. 

I've  long  enough  stood  firm  and  steady, 

Half-hang'd  for  loyalty  already  : 

And  could  I  save  my  neck  and  pelf, 

I'd  tufn  a  flaming  whig  myself, 

And  quit  this  cause,  and  course,  and  calling, 

Like  rats  that  fly  from  house  that's  falling, 

But  since,  obnoxious  here  to  fate, 


M'FINGAL.  1 

This  saving  wisdom  comes  too  late, 
Our  noblest  hopes  already  crost, 
Our  sal'ries  gone,  our  titles  lost, 
Doom'd  to  worse  sufFrings  from  the  mob, 
Than  Satan's  surgeries  used  on  Job ; 
What  more  remains  but  now  with  sleight, 
What's  left  of  us  to  save  by  flight  ? 

"  Now  raise  thine  eyes  ;  for  visions  true 
Again  ascending  wait  thy  view." 
I  look'd  ;  and  clad  in  early  light, 
The  spires  of  Boston  rose  to  sight ; 
The  morn  o'er  eastern  hills  afar, 
Illum'd  the  varying  scenes  of  war. 
Great  Howe  had  long  since  in  the  lap 
Of  Loring  taken  out  his  nap, 
And  with  the  sun's  ascending  ray, 
The  cuckold  came  to  take  his  pay. 
When  all  th'  encircling  hills  around, 
With  instantaneous  breast-works  crown'd, 
With  pointed  thunders  met  his  sight, 
By  magic  rear'd  the  former  night, 
Each  summit  far  as  eye  commands, 
Shone  peopled  with  rebellious  bands, 
Aloft  their  tow'ring  heroes  rise, 
As  Titans  erst  assaii'd  the  skies, 
Leagu'd  with  superior  force  to  prove, 


120  M'FINGAL. 

The  sceptred  hand  of  British  Jove. 
Mounds,  pil'd  on  hills,  ascended  fair, 
With  batt'ries,  plac'd  in  middle  air, 
That,  rais'd  like  angry  clouds  on  high, 
Seem'd  like  th'  artiii'ry  of  the  sky, 
And  huri'd  their  fiery  bolts  amain, 
In  thunder  on  the  trembling  plain. 
I  saw  along  the  prostrate  strand, 
Our  baffl'd  gtn'rals  quit  the  land, 
And,  swift  as  frighted  mermaids}  flee, 
T'  our  boasted  element  the  sea! 
Resign  that  long  contested  shore, 
Again  the  pi  ize_of  rebel  power, 
And  tow'rd  their  town  of  refuge  fly, 
Like  convict  Jews  condemn'd  to  die. 
Then  tow'rd  the  north  I  turn'd  my  eyes, 
Where  Saratoga's  heights  arise, 
And  saw  our  chosen  vet'ran  band, 
Descend  in  terror  o'er  the  land  ; 
TJ  oppose  their  fury  of  alarms, 
Saw  all  New-England  wake  to  arms, 
And  ev'ry  yankey,  full  of  mettle, 
Swarm  forth,  like  bees  at  sound  of  kettle. 
Not  Rome,  when  Tarquin  rap'd  Lucretia, 
Saw  wilder  must'ring  of  militia. 
Through  all  the  woods  and  plains  of  fight, 
What  mortal  battles  fill'd  my  sight, 


M'FINSAL.  121 

While  British  corses  strew'd  the  shore, 
And  Hudson  ting'd  his  streams  with  gore ! 
What  tongue  can  tell  the  dismal  day, 
Or  paint  the  party-color'd  fray; 
When  yeomen  left  their  fields  afar, 
To  plough  the  crimson  plains  of  war; 
When  zeal  to  swords  transform'd  their  shares^ 
And  turn'd  their  pruning  hooks  to  spears, 
Chang'd  taylor's  geese  to  guns  and  ball, 
And  stretch'd  to  pike  the  cooler's  awl ; 
While  hunters  fierce,  like  mighty  Nimrod, 
Made  on  our  troops  a  daring  inroad; 
And  lev'lling  squint  on  barrel  round, 
Brought  our  beau-officers  to  ground  ; 
While  rifle-frocks  sentgen'rals  cap'ring, 
And  red-coats  shrunk  from  leathern  apron, 
And  epaulet  and  gorget  run. 
From  whinyard  brown  and  rusty  gun  : 
While  sun-burnt  whigs  in  high  command, 
Rush  furious  on  our  frighted  band, 
And  ancient  beards  and  hoary  hair, 
Like  meteors  stream  in  troubled  air. 
With  locks  unshorn  not  Sampson  more 
Made  useless  all  the  show  of  war, 
Nor  fought  with  ass's  jaw  for  rarity, 
With  more  success  or  singularity. 
I  saw  our  vct'ran  thousands  yield, 
L 


122  Mf*' IN  GAL, 

And  pile  their  muskets  on  the  field; 
And  peasant  guards,  in  rueful  plight, 
March -off  our  captur'd  bands  from  fight; 
While  every  rebel-fife  in  play,, 
To  yankey  doodle  tun'd  its  lay, 
And,  like  the  music  of  the  spheres, 
Mellifluous  sooth'd  their  vanquish '.d  ears, 

"  Alas  !"said  I,  "  what  baleful  star 
Sheds  fatal  influence  on  the  wai\ 
And  wlio  that  chosen  chief  of  fame, 
That  heads  .this  grand  parade  of  shame  ?" 

"  There  see    how   fate,"    great  Malcolm 

cry'd, 

"  Strikes  with  its  bolts  the  tow'rs  of  pride. 
Behold  that  martial  macaroni,  * 
Compound  of  Pheebus  and  LBellcna, 
With  warlike  sword  and  singsong  lay, 
Equipp'd  sllike  for  feast  or  fray, 
Where  equal  wit  and  valor  join  ; 
Thif,  thisi.s;he,  the  £am'd  Burgoyne ; 
Who  pawn'd  his  honor  and 
To  coax  the  .patriots  to  submission, 
By  songs  .and  halls  secure  obedience, 
And  dance  ,th£  ladies  to  allegiance. 
Oft  his  camp  .muses  he'll  .p-arade 


M'FINGAL,  123 

At  Boston  HI  the  grand  blockade  ; 
And  well  invok'd  with  punch  of  arrack, 
Hold  converse  sweet  in  tent  or  barrack, 
Inspir'd  in  more  heroic  fashion, 
Both  by  his  theme  and  situation ; 
While  farce  and  proclamation  grand, 
Rise  fair  beneath  his  plastic  hand, 
For  genius  swells  more  strong  and  clear, 
When  close  confinM,  like  bottled  beer  ; 
So  Prior's  wit  gain'd  greater  pow'i' 
By  inspiration  of  the  tow'r ; 
And  Raleigh,  fast  in  prison  hurl'd, 
Wrote  all  the  hist'ry  of  the  world  ; 
So  Wilkes  grew,  while  in  jail  he  lay, 
More  patriotic  ev'ry  day  ; 
But  found  his  zeal,  when  not  confin'd, 
Soon  sink  below  the  freezing  point, 
And  public  spirit  once  so  fair, 
Evaporate  in  open  air. 
But  thou,  great  favorite  of  Venus, 
By  no  such  luck  shall  cramp  thy  genius ; 
Thy  friendly  stars,  tilt  wars  shall  cease, 
Shall  ward  th'  ill  fortune  of  release, 
And  hold  thee  fast  in  bonds  not  feeble, 
In  good  condition  still  to  scribble. 
Gjch  merit  fate  shall  shield  from  firing, 
Bomb,  carcass,  iangridge,  and  cold  iron  ; 


M'FINGAL, 

Nor  trusts  thy  doubly-Iaurel'd  head, 

To  rude  assaults  of  flying  lead. 

Hence,  in  this  Saratogue  retreat, 

For  pure  good  fortune  thou'ltbe  beat; 

Not  taken  oftj  releas'd  or  rescued, 

Pass  for  small  change,  like  simple  Prescott  ;* 

But  captur'd  there,  as  fates  befall, 

Shall  stand  thy  hand  for't,  once  for  all. 

Then  raise  thy  daring  thoughts  sublime, 

And  dip  thy  conqu'ring  pen  in  rhyme,- 

And,  changing  war  for  puns  and  jokes, 

Write  new  Blockades,  and  Maids  of  Oaks. "f 

This  said,  he  turn'd,  and  saw  the  tale 
Had  dy'd  my  trembling  cheeks  with  pale^ 
Then,  pitying,  in  a  milder  vein, 
Pursu'd  the  visionary  strain. 

"  Too  much,  perhaps,   hath  pain'd  youf 

views 

Of  victories  gainM  by  rebel  crews  ; 
Now  see  the  deeds,  not  small  nor  scanty, 

*  General  Prescott  was  taken  and  exchanged  sev- 
eial  times  during  the  war. 

f  "  The  Maid  of  the  Oaks,  and  the  blockade  of 
Boston,  are  farces — the  first  acknowledged  by  gen 
eral  Burgoyne  j  the  other  generally  ascribed  to 
kirn," 


12$ 

Of  British  valor  and  hunian'ty  , 
And  learn  from  this  auspicious  sight, 
How  England's  sons  and  friends  can  fight, 
In  what  dread  scenes  their  courage  grows, 
And  how  they  conquer  all  their  foes." 

I  look'd  and  saw,  in  wintry  skies, 

Our  spacious  pris  m  walls  arise, 

Where  Britons  all  their  captives  taming, 

Plied  them  with  scourging,  cold   and  famine; 

Reduc'd  to  life's  concluding  stag.es> 

By  noxious  food  and  plagues  contagious. 

Aloft  the  mighty  *  Loring  stood, 

•*  Loring  was  a  refugee  from  Boston,  made  comrms- 
•  ary  of  prisoners  by  general  Howe.  The  consummate 
cruelties  practised  on -the  American  prisoners  under 
Loring's  administration  almost  exceed  the  ordinary 
powers  of  human  invention.  If  a  simple  statement 
of  facts  relative  to  this  business  were  properly  drawn 
up  and  authenticated,  it  would  furnish  the  friends  of 
humanity  .with  new  images  of  horror  in  contempla^ 
ting  the  ravages  of  war  ;  especially  a  war  that  ob 
tains  the  name  of  rebellion,  and  is  carried  on  at  a 
distance  from  the  eye  of  the  nation.  The  conduct  of 
the  Turks  in  putting  all  prisoners  to  death  is  cer 
tainly  much  more  rational  and  humane,  than  that  of 
the  British  army  for  the  three  first  years  of  the  A- 
merican  war,  or  till  after  the  capture  of  Burgoyne. 
We  except  from  this  general  observation,  the  con 
duct  of  lord  Dorchester  in  Canada  ;  he  acted  on  tbe 
L  2 


126  M'FINGAL, 

And  thriv'd  like  Vampyre,*  on  their  blood  ; 

And  counting  all  his  gains  arising, 

Dealt  daily  rations  out  of  poison. 

Amid  the  dead  that  crowd  the  scene, 

The  moving  skeletons  were  seen. 

At  hand  our  troops,  in  vaunting  strains, 

Insulted  all  their  wants  and  pains, 

And  turn'd  on  all  the  dying  tribe, 

The  bitter  taunt  and  scornful  gibe  : 

And  British  officers  of  might, 

Triumphant  at  the  joyful  sight, 

O'er  foes  disarm'd,  with  courage  daring, 

Exhausted  all  their  tropes  of  swearing. 

Around  all  stain'd  with  rebel  blood, 

Like  Milton's  lazar-hou&e  it  stood, 

Where  grim  despair  attended  nurse, 

And  death  wasgov'rnor  of  the  house. 

Amaz'd,  I  cried,  "  Is  this  the  way 

That  British  valor  wins  the  day  ?" 

More  had  I  said,  in  strains  unwelcome, 

common  principles  of  war,  as  now  practised  in  Eu 
rope. 

*  "  The  notion  of  Vampyres  is  a  superstition 
that  has  greatly  prevailed  in  many  parts  ol  Europe. 
They  pretend  it  is  a  dead  body,  which  rises  out  of 
its  g'ave  in  the  night,  and  sucks  the  blood  of  the 
living." 


M'FINGAL,  127 

Till  interrupted  thus  by  Malcolm  : 

"  Blame  not,"  quoth  he,  "  but  learn  the  reason 

Of  this  new  mode  of  conqu'ring  treason, 

'  Fis  but  a  wise,  politic  plan, 

To  root  out  all  the  rebel  clan ; 

(For  surely  treason  ne'er  can  thrive, 

Where  not  a  soul  is  left  alive :) 

A  scheme,  all  other  chiefs  to  surpass, 

And  do  th*  effectual  work  to  purpose; 

For  war  itself  is  nothing  further, 

Butth'  art  and  mystery  of  murther, 

And  who  most  methods  has  essay'd, 

Is  the  best.gen'ral  of  the  trade, 

And  stands  death's  plenipotentiary, 

To  conquer,  poison,  starve  and  bury. 

This  Ho'.ve  well  knew,  and  thus  began, 

(Despising  Carleton's  coaxing  plan, 

Who  kept  his  prisoners  weli  and  merry, 

And  dealt  them  food  like  commissary, 

And  by  paroles  and  ransoms  vain, 

Dismiss'd  them  all  to  fight  again  :) 

Whence  his  first  captives,  with  great  spirit, 

He  tied  up  far  his  troops  to  fire  at,* 

And  hop'd  they'd  learn,  on  foes  thus  taken, 

*  "  This  was  done  openly,  and  without  censure, 
by  the  troops  under  Howe's  command,  in  tinny  in- 
siances,  on  his  first  conquest  of  Long-Island." 


121  M'FIKGAL. 

To  aim  at  rebels  without  shaking. 
Then,  wise  in  stratagem,  he  plann'd 
The  sure  destruction  of  the  land, 
Turn'd  famine,  sickness,  and  despair, 
To  useful  enginery  of  war, 
Instead  of  cannon,  musket,  mortar, 
Us'd  pestilence,  and  death,  and  torture, 
Sent  forth  the  small  pox,  and  the  greater, 
To  thin  the  land  of  every  traitor, 
And  order'd  out,  with  like  endeavor, 
Detachments  of  the  prison  fever; 
Spread  desolation  o'er  their  head, 
And  plagues  in  providence's  stead, 
Perform'd  with  equal  skill  and  beauty, 
Th'  avenging  angel's  tour  of  duty, 
Brought  all  the  elements  to  join, 
And  stars  t'  assist  the  great  design  : 
As  once  in  league  with  Kishon's  brook, 
Fam'd  Israel's  foes  they  fought  and  took. 
Then  proud  to  raise  a  glorious  name, 
Andem'lous  of  his  country's  fame, 
He  bade  these  prison  walls  arise 
Like  temple  tow'ring  to  the  skies, 
Where  British  clemency  renown'd, 
Might  fix  her  seat  on  sacred  ground  ; 
(That  virtue,  as  each  herald  saith, 
Of  whole  blood  kin  to  Punic  faith  jj 


Where  all  her  godlike  pow'rs  unveiling* 
She  finds  a  grateful  shrine  to  dwell  in. 
Then,  at  this  altar  for  her  honor, 
Chose  this  high-priest  to  wait  upon  her, 
Who,  with  just  rites,  in  ancient  guises, 
Presents  these  human  sacrifices  ; 
Great  Loring,  fam'd  above  all  laymen, 
A  proper  priest  for  Lybian  Amman, 
Who,  while  Howe's  gift  his  brows  adorns, 
Had  match'd  that  deity  in  horns, 
Here  ev'ry  day  her  vot'ries  tell, 
She  more  devours  than  th'  idol  Bel ; 
And  thursts  more  rav'nously  for  gore, 
Than  any  worshipp'd  power  before. 
That  ancient  heathen  godhead,  Moloch, 
Oft  stay'd  his  stomach  with  a  bullock, 
Or  if  his  morning  rage  you'd  check  first, 
One  child  suffic'd  him  for  a  breakfast. 
But  British  clemency,  with  zeal, 
Devours  her  hundreds  at  a  meal  : 
Right  well  by  nat'ralists  defiri'd, 
A  being  of  carnivorous  kind  ; 
So  erst  *  Gargantau  pleas'd  his  palate, 
And  ate  his  pilgrims  up  for  sattad. 
Not  blest  with  maw  less  ceremonious, 

*  "  Sec  Rabelaia's  history  of  the  giant  Gargaa 
uu." 


The  wide  mouth  whale  that  swallow'd  Jomi$*f 

Like  earthquake  gapes  to  death  devote* 

That  open  sepulchre,  her  throat ; 

The  grave,,  or  barren  womb  you'd  stuffj 

And  sooner  bring  to  cry,  enough  ; 

Or  fatten  up  to  fair  condition, 

The  lean  flesh  kine  of  Pharaoh's  vision. 

"  Behold  her  temple,  where  it  stands 
Erect  by  fam'd  Britannic  hands  : 
Tis  the  black  hole  of  Indian  structure, 
New  built  with  English  architecture, 
On  plan,  'tis  said,  contriv'd  and  wrote 
By  Clive,  before  he  cut  his  throat ; 
Who,  ere  he  took  himself  in  hand, 
Washer  high-priest  in  nabob-land  ; 
And  when,  with  conqu'ring  glory  crown' d. 
He'd  wellenslav'd  the  nation  round, 
With  pitying  heart,  the  generous  chief, 
(Since  slav'ry's  worse  than  loss  of  life,) 
Bade  desolation  circle  far, 
And  famine  end  the  work  of  war  ; 
Thus  loos'd  their  chains,  and  for  their  merits, 
Dismiss'd  them  free  to  worlds  of  spirits : 
Whence  they,  with  gratitude  and  praise, 
Return'd,  *  t'  attend  his  latter  days, 

*  «  dire,  in  the  latter  years  of  his  life,  conceit- 


M'FINCAL.  131 

And,  hov'ring  round  his  restless  bed, 
Spread  nightly  visions  o'er  his  head. 

"  Now  turn,"  he  cried,  "  to  nobler  sights, 
And  mark  the  prowess  of  our  fights  : 
Behold,  like  whelps  of  British  lion, 
The  warriors,  Clinton,  Vaughan,  and  Try  on, 
March  forth  with  patriotic  joy, 
To  ravish,  plunder,  burn,  destroy. 
Great  gen'rals,  foremost  in  the  nation, 
The  journeymen  of  desolation  ! 
Like  Samson's  foxes,  each  assails, 
Let  loose  with  firebrands  in  their  tails, 
And  spreads  destruction  more  forlorn, 
Than  they  did  in  Philistine  corn. 
And  see,!  in  flames  their  triumphs  rise, 
Illuming  all  the  nether  skies, 
And  streajming,  like  a  new  Aurora, 
The  western  hemisphere  with  .glory  ! 
What  towns  in  ashes  laid,  confess 
These  heroes'  prowess  and  success  ! 
What  blacken'd  walls,  or  burning  fane, 
For  trophies  spread  the  ruin'd  plain  ! 

cd  himself  perpetually  haunted  by  the  ghosts  of 
those  who  were  the  victims  of  his  British  humani* 
ty  i:i  the  East-ladies," 


332  M(FINOAL. 

What  females,  caught  in  evil  hour, 
By  force  submit  to  British  pow'r, 
Or  plunder'd  negroes,  in  disaster, 
Confess  king  George  their  lord  and  master  J 
What  crimson  corses  strew  their  way, 
Till  smoking  carnage  dims  the  day  I 
Along  the  shore,  for  sure  reduction^ 
They  wield  their  besom  of  destruction, 
Great  Homer  likens,  in  his  Ilias, 
To  dog-star  bright  the  fierce  Achilles  ; 
But  ne'er  beheld,  in  red  procession, 
Three  dog-stars  rise  in  constellation  ; 
Or  saw  in  glooms  of  ev'ning  misty, 
Such  signs  of  fiery  triplic'ty, 
Which,  far  beyond  the  comet's  tail, 
Portend  destruction  where  they  sail. 
Oh  !  had  Great  Britain's  godlike  shore 
Produc'd  but  ten  such  heroes  more, 
They'd  spar'd  the  pains,  and  held  the  station 
Of  this  world's  final  conflagration, 
Which,  when  its  time  comes,  at  a  stand, 
Would  find  its  work  all  done  t'  its  hand  ! 

"  Yet  though  gay  hopes  our  eyes  may  bless, 
Indignant  fate  forbids  success ; 
Like  morning  dreams,  our  conquest  flies, 
Pispers'd  before  the  dawn  arise," 


M'flNGAL.  1-3? 

Here   Malcolm  paus'd ;  when,   pond'ring 

long, 
Grief  thus  gave  utt'rance  to  my  tongue  : 

"  Where  shrink  in  fear  our  friends  dismay'4 
And  all  the  tones'  piomis'd  aid  ? 
Can  none,  amid  these  fierce  alarms, 
Assist  the  pow'r  of  royal  arms  ?" 

*{  In  vain,"  he  cried,  "  our  king  depends 
On  promis'd  aid  of  «tory  friends. 
When  our  own  efforts  want  success, 
Friends  ever  fail  as  fears  increase. 
As  leaves  in  blooming  verdure  wove, 
In  warmth  of  summer  clothe  the  grove  j 
But  when  autumnal  frosts  arise, 
Leave  bare  their  trunks  to  wintry  skies  ; 
So  while  your  pow'r  can  aid  their  ends, 
You  ne'er  can  need  ten  thousand  friends ; 
Bnt,  once  in  want,  by  foes  dismay'd, 
May  advertise  them  stol'n  or  stray'd. 
Thus,  ere  Great-Britain's  strength  grew  slack, 
She  gain'd  that  aid  she  did  not  lack; 
But  now  in  dread,  imploring  pity, 
All  hear,  unmov'd  her  dol'rous  ditty: 
Allegiance  wand'ring  turns  astray, 
And  faith  grows  dim  for  lack  of  pay. 
In  vain  she  tries  by  new  inventions, 
M 


134  ' 

Fear,  falsehood,  flatt'ry,  threats  and  pensions; 
Or  sends  commiss'ners  with  credentials'* 
Of  promises  and  penitentials. 
As,  for  his  fair  o'er  Styx  of  old, 
The  Trojan  stole  the  bough  of  gold ; 
And,  lest  grim  Ccrb'rus  should  make  head, 
StufPd  both  his  fobs  with  f  gingerbread. 
Behold,  at  Britain's  utmost  shifts, 
Comes 'Johnslorie,  loaded  with  like  gifts, 

*  The  passage  that  here  follows  is  to  be  explain 
ed  thus :  In  the  year  1778,  after  ihe  war  had  been 
raging  three,  years,  and  the  capture  of  Burgoyne's 
army  was  known  in  England,  the  British  govern, 
went  concluded  to  give  up  all  the  objects  £0^  which 
the  contest  had  been  begun.  It  accordingly  passed 
an  act  repealing  all  the  acts  of  which  the  Ame?L 
cans  complained,  provided  we  would  rescind  our 
declaration  of  independence,  and  continue  to  be 
their  colonies.  The  mini&try  then  sent  over  three 
commissioners,  Mr.  Johnstone,  Mr.  Eden,  and  lord 
Carlisle. ,  These  commissioners  began  their  opera 
tions,  and  finished  them  by  attempting  to  bribe  indi 
viduals  among  the  members  of  the  states,  and  of  the 
army.  This  bait  appears  to  have  caught  nobody 
but  Arnold.  T\\z  petttcoaled  politician,  here  men 
tioned,  is  a  woman  of  Philadelphia,  (and  a  lady  of 
considerable  distinction)  through  whose  agency 
they  offered  a  bribe  to  Joseph  Read,  governor  of 
Pennsylvania; 

f         •  Medicatam  frugibus  offam. 

uEiieid,  lib.  vi.  410. 


M'FINQAL.  135 

To  venture  through  the  whiggish  tribe, 

To  cuddle,  wheedle,  coax,  and  bribe, 

Enter  their  lands,  and  on  his  journey, 

Possession  take  as  king's  attorney  ; 

Buy  all  the  vassals  to  protect  him, 

And  bribe  the  tenants -not  t*  eject  him  ; 

And  call,  to  aid  his  desp'rute  mission, 

His  petticoated  politician  ; 

While  Venus,  join'd  t'  assist  the  farce, 

Strolls  forth  ambassador  for  Mars. 

In  vain  he  strives,  (for  while  he  lingers, 

These  mastiffs  bite  his  oiPring  fingers,) 

Nor  buys  for  George  and  realms  infernal, 

One  spaniel,  but  the  mongrel  Arnold. 

'Twere  vain  to  paint  in  vision'd  show, 

The  mighty  nothings  done  by  Howe  ; 

What  towns  he  takes  in  mortal  fray, 

As  stations,  whence  to  run  away  ; 

What  conquests  gain'd  in  battles  warm. 

To  us  no  aid,  to  them  no  harm ; 

For  still  th'  event  alike  is  fatal, 

What'er  success  attend  the  battle, 

If  he  gain  victory,  or  lose  it, 

Who  ne'er  had  skill  enough  to  use  it; 

And  better  'twere,  at  their  expense, 

T'  have  drubb'd  him  into  common  sense, 

And  vvak'd,  by  bastings  on  his  rear, 


136  M'FINGAL. 

Th'  activity,  though  but  of  fear. 
By  slow  advance  his  arms  prevail* 
Like  emblematic  march  of  snaiJ ; 
That,  be  millennium  nigh  or  far, 
Twould  long  before  him  end  the  war. 
From  York  to  Philadelphian  ground, 
He  sweeps  the  mighty  flourish  round, 
Wheel'd  circular  by  eccentric  stars, 
Like  racing  boys  at  prison-bars  ;* 
Who  take  the  adverse  crew  in  whole, 
By  running  round  the  opp'site  goal; 
Works  wide  the  traverse  of  his  course, 
Like  ship  in  storms'  opposing  force  ; 
Like  mill-horse,  circling  in  his  race, 
Advances  not  a  single  pace, 
And  leaves  no  trophies  of  reduction, 
Save  that  of  canker-worms,  destruction. 
Thus,  having  long  both  countries  curst, 
He  quits  them,  as  he  found  them  first, 
Steers  home  disgraced,  of  little  worth, 
To  join  Burgoyne,  and  rail  at  North'. 

*  Prison-tars  is  a  kind  of  juvenile  contest,  suffi 
ciently  described  here.  How  far  our  author  is  jus 
tifiable  in  comparing  to  it  the  operations  of  general 
Howe  in  America,  is  left  to  be  determintd  by  those 
military  men  who  know  the  history  of  his  manoeu 
vres. 


M'FINGAL.  1S1 

"  Now  raise  thine  eyes,  and   view   with 

pleasure, 
The  triumphs  of  his  fam'cl  successor." 

I  look'd,  and  now  by  magic  lore, 
Faint  rose  to  view  the  Jersey  shore  ;        ^ 
But  dimly  seen,  in  glooms  array'd, 
For  night  had  pour'd  her  sable  shade, 
And  ev'ry  star,  with  glimm'rings  pale, 
Was  muffled  deep  in  evening  veil: 
Scarce  visible  in  dusky  night, 
Advancing  red-coats*  rose  to  sight; 
The  lengthen'd  train,  in  gleaming  rows, 
Stole  silent  from  their  slumbering  foes ; 
Slow  mov'cl  the  baggage,  and  the  train, 
Like  snails,  crept  noiseless  o'er  the  plain  ; 
No  trembling  soldier  dar'd  to  speak, 
And  riot  a  wheel  presum'd  to  creak. 
My  looks  my  new  surprise  confess'd, 
Till  by  great  Malcolm  thus  addressed  : 
*'  Spend  not  thy  wits  in  vain  researches ; 
^Tis  one  of  Clinton's  moonlight  marches. 
Prom  Philadelphia  now  retreating, 
To  save  his  anxious  troops  a  beating, 
With  hasty  stride  he  flies  in  vain, 
His  rear  attacked  on  Monmoulh  plain  : 

a  term  for  British  troops, 

M  2 


138  M'rtNGAL. 

With  various  chance  the  mortal  fray 

Is  lengthened  to  the  close  of  day, 

When  his  tir'd  bands,  o'erniatch'd  in  fight, 

Are  rescu'd  by  descending  night, 

He  forms  his  camp  with  vain  parade, 

Till  evening  spreads  the  world  with  shade, 

Then  still,  like  some  endangcr'd  spark, 

Steals  off  on  tiptoe  in  the  dark; 

Yet  writes  his  king,  in  boasting  tone, 

How  grand  he  march'd  by  light  of  moon.* 

I  see  him,  but  thou  canst  not;  proud 

He  leads  in  front  the  trembling  crowd, 

And  wisely  knows,  if  danger's  near, 

Twill  fall  the  heaviest  on  his  rear. 

Oo  on,  great  gen'ral,  nor  regard 

The  scoffs  of  every  scribbling  bard, 

Who  sing  how  gods  that  fatal  night 

Aided  by  miracles  your  flight, 

As  once  they  us'd  in  Homer's  day, 

To  help  weak  heroes  run  away  ; 

Tell  how  the  hours  at  awful  trial, 

Went  back,  as  erst  on  Ahaz'  dial, 

*  The  circumstance  of  general  Clinton's  official 
dispatches,  giving  an  account  of  his  marching  from 
IVJonmouth  by  moonlight,  furnished  a  subject  of 
some  pleasantry  in  America  ;  where  it  was  known 
that  the  moon  had  set  two  hours  before  the  march 
began. 


While  British  Joshua  stay'd  the  moon, 

On  Mon  mouth  plains,  for  Ajalon  : 

Heed  not  their  sneers  and  gibes  so  arch, 

Because  she  set  before  your  inarch. 

A  small  mistake,  your  meaning  right, 

You  take  her  influence  for  her  light; 

Her  influence,  which  shall  be  your  guide, 

And  o'er  your  gen'ralship  preside. 

Hence  still  shall  teem  your  empty  skuil 

With  victories,  when  the  moon's  at  full, 

Which  by  transition  yet  more  strange, 

Wane  to  defeats  before  the  change ; 

Hence  all  your  movements,  all  your  notions, 

Shall  steer  by  like  eccentric  motions, 

Eclips'd  in  many  a  fatal  crisis, 

And  dimivi'd  when  Washington  arises. 

"  And  see  how  fate  herself,  turn'd  traitor, 
Inverts  the  ancient  course  of  nature, 
And  changes  manners,  tempers,  climes, 
To  suit  the  genius  of  the  times. 
See  Bourbon  forms  his  gen'rous  plan, 
First  guardian  of  the  rights  of  man. 
And  prompt  in  firm  alliance  joins, 
To  aid  the  rebels'  proud  designs. 
Behold  from  realms  of  eastern  day, 
His  saJ4s  innum'fotis  shape  their  way, 


140  M'FIMGAL. 

In  warlike  line  the  billows  sweep, 

And  roll  the-  thunders  of  the  deep. 

See,  low  in  equinoctial  skies, 

The  Western  Islands  fall  their  prize. 

See  British  flags  o'ermatclvd  in  might, 

Put  all  their  faith  in  instant  flight; 

Or  broken  squadrons  from  th'  affray, 

Drag  slow  their  wounded  hulks  away. 

Behold  his  chiefs  in  daring  sets, 

D'Estaings,  De  Grasses,  and  Fayettes, 

Spread  through  our  camps  their  dread  alarms, 

And  swell  the  fears  of  rebel-arms. 

Yet,  ere  our  empire  sink  in  night, 

One  gleam  of  hope  shall  strike  the  sight; 

As  lamps  that  fail  of  oil  and  fire, 

Collect  one  glimm'ring  to  expire. 

And  lo !  where  southern  shores  extend, 

Behold  our  union'd  host  descend, 

Where    Charlestown  views,   with  varying 

beams, 

Her  turrets  gild  th'  encircling  streams. 
There,  by  superior  might  compell'd, 
Behold  their  gallant  Lincoln  yield,* 

*  General  Lincoln  was  second  in  command  in 
the  army  of  general  Gates,  during  the  campaign  of 
1777,  which  ended  in  the  capture  of  general  Bur- 
goync.  He  is  an  officer  of  great  reputaiion.  He 


MrFINGAL.  14  £ 

Nor  aught  the  wreaths  avail  him  now, 

Pluck' d  from  Biirgoyne's  imperious  brow. 

See,  furious  from  the  vunquisli'd  strand, 

Cornwaliis  leads  his  mighty-  ba-nd  ! 

The  southern  realms  and  Georgian' shore 

Submit,  and  own  the  victor's- powyr. 

Lo,  sunk  before  his  wasting-  way, 

The  Caroiinas  fall  Iris  prey  ! 

In  vain  embattled  hosts  of  foes' 

Essay  in  warring  strife  t'  oppose. 

See,  shrinking  from  his  conquering  eye, 

The  rebel  legions  fall  or  fly  ; 

And,  withering  in  these  torrid  skies, 

The  northern  la-urel  fades-  artd  dies.* 

With  rapid  force  he  leads  his  band, 

To  fair  Virginia's  fated  strand, 

Triumphant  eyes  the  traveled  zone, 

And  boasts  the  southern  realms  his  own. 

Nor  yet  this  hero's  glories  bright 

Blaze  only  in  the  fields  of  fight; 

Not  Howe's  human'ty  more  deserving, 

In  gifts  of  hanging,  aad  of  starving  ; 

afterwards  commanded  the  a^my  in-  South- Carolina, 
and  was  taken  prisoner  with-  the  garrison  of  Charles 
ton  in  1780. 

*  This  refers  to  the  fortune  of  general  Gates,  who 
after  having  conquered  general  Burgoyrie  in  the 
north,  was  defeated  by  lord  Cornwaliis  in  the  south. 


142  M'FINGAL 

Not  Arnold  plunders  more  tobacco, 

Or  steals  more  negroes  for  Jamaica  ;* 

Scarce  Rodney's  self,  among  tli?  Eustatians, 

Insults  so  well  the  laws  of  nations; 

Ev'n  Tryon's  fame  grows  dim,  and  mourning, 

He  yields  the  laurel  crown  of  burning. 

I  see  with  rapture  and  surprise, 

New  triumphs  sparkling  in  thine  eyes; 

But  view,  where  now  renew'd  in  might, 

Again  the  rebels  dare  the  fight.'' 

I  look'd,  and  far  in  southern  skies, 
Saw  Greene,  their  second  hope,  arise, 
And  with  his  small  but  gallant  band, 
Invade  the  Carolinian  land. 
As  winds,  in  stormy  circles  whirt'd, 
Rush  billowing  o'er  the  darken'd  world, 
And,  where  their  wasting  fury  roves, 
Successive  sweep  th'  astonish'd  groves 
Thus  where  he  pours  the  rapid  fight, 

*  Arnold,  in  the  year  1781,  having  been  conver 
ted  to  the  cause  of  GreauBritain,  commanded  a  de 
tachment  of  their  army  in  Virginia  ;  where  lie  plun 
dered  many  cargoes  of  negroes  and  of  tobacco,  and 
sent  them  to  Jamaica  for  his  own  account.  How 
far  the  lords  Rodney  and  Cornwallis  might  have  ex 
celled  him  in  this  kind  of  heroic  achievements,  time 
will  perhaps  never  discover. 


M'FINGAL.  143 

/ 

Our  boasted  conquests  sink  in  night, 
And  wide  o'er  all  th*  extended  field, 
Our  forts  resign,  our  armies  yield, 
Till,  now  regain'd  the  vanquish'd  land, 
He  lifts  his  standard  on  the  strand. 

Again  to  fair  Virginia's  coast, 
I  turn'd  and  view'd  the  British  host, 
Where  Chesapeake's  wide  waters  lave 
Her  shores,  and  join  th'  Atlantic  wave, 
There  fam'd  Cornwallis  tow'ring  rose, 
And  scorn'd   secure  his  distant  foes; 
His  bands  the  haughty  rampart  raise, 
And  bid  the  royal  standard  blaze. 
When  lo,  where  ocean's  bounds  extend, 
I  saw  the  Gallic  sails  ascend, 
With  fav'ring  breezes  stem  their  way, 
And  crowd  with  ships  the  spacious  bay. 
Lo,  Washington,  from  northern  shores, 
O'er  many  a  region,  wheels  his  force, 
Ahd  Rochambeau,  with  legions  bright, 
Descends  in  terrors  to  the  fight. 
Not  swifter  cleaves  his  rapid  way, 
The  eagie  cow'ring  o'er  his  prey, 
Or  knights  in  fam'd  romance  that  fly 
On  fairy  pinion*  through  the  sky. 
Amaz'd,the  Briton's  startled  pride 


144 

Sees  ruin  wake  on  ev'ry  side  ; 
And  all  his  troops  to  fate  consigned, 
By  instantaneous  stroke  Burgoyn'd. 
Not  Cadmus  view'd  with  more  surprise, 
From  earth  embattled  armies  rise, 
When  by  superior  pow'r  impelled, 
He  sow'd  with  dragons'  teeth  the  field. 
Here  Gallic  troops  in  terror  stand, 
There  rush  in  arms  the  rebel  band  ; 
Nor  hope  remains  from  mortal  fight, 
Or  that  last  British  refuge,  flight. 
I  saw,  with  looks  downcast  and  grave, 
The  chief  emerging  from  his  cave,* 
(Where,  chac'd  like  hare  in  mighty  round, 
His  hunters  earth'd  him  first  in  ground,} 
And  doom'd  by  fate  to  rebel  sway, 
Yield  all  his  captur'd  hosts  a  prey. 

There,  while  I  view'd  the  vanquish'd  town, 
Thus  with  a  sigh  my  friend  went  on  ; 
"  Behold'st  thou  not  that  band  forlorn, 
Like  slaves  in  Roman  triumphs  borne; 
Their  faces  length'ning  with  their  fears, 
And  cheeks  distain'd  with  streams  of  tears, 

*  ct  Alluding  to  the  well  known  fact  of  CornwaL 
lis's  taking  up  his  residence  in  a  cave,  during  the 
giege  of  Yorktown." 


Like  dramatis  persons  sage, 
Equipt  to  act  on  Tyburn's  stage  ? 
Lo,  these  are  they,  who,  iur'd  by  follies, 
Left  all  and  followed  great  Cornwallis; 
True  to  their  king,  with  firm  devotion, 
For  conscience  sake,  had  hop'd  promotion", 
Expectant  of  the  promis'd  glories, 
And  new  millennial  state  of  tories* 
Alas  !  in  vain  all  doubts  forgetting, 
They  tried  th'  omnipotence  of  Britain ; 
But  found  her  arm,  once  strong  and  brave. 
So  shorten' d  now  she  cannot  save. 
Not  more  aghast  departed  souls, 
Who  risk'd  their  fate  on  Popish  bulls, 
And  find  St.  Peter  at  the  wicket 
Refuse  to  countersign  their  ticket, 
When  driv'n  to  purgatory  back, 
With  all  their  pardons  in  their  pack  ; 
Than  tories  must'ring  at  their  stations 
On  faith  of  royal  proclamations* 
As  Pagan  chiefs  at  ev'ry  crisis, 
Confirm' d  their  leagues  by  sacrifices, 
And  herds  of  beasts  to  all  their  deitieft 
Oblations  fell  at  close  of  treaties ; 
Cornwallis  thus,  in  ancient  fashion, 
Concludes  his  league  of  cap'tulation> 
And  victims  due  to  rebel  glories, 
N 


146  M'FINGAL. 

Gives  this  sin-ofPring  up  of  tories. 
See  where,  relieved  frorrxsad  embargo, 
Steer  off  consign'd  a  recreant  cargo, 
Like  old  scape-goats  to  roam  in  pain, 
Maik'd  like  their  great  forerunner,  Cain. 
The  rest,  now  doom'd  by  British  leagues, 
To  justice  of  resentful  whigs, 
Hold  worthless  lives  on  tenure  ill, 
Of  tenancy  at  rebel-will, 
While  hov'ring  o'er  their  forfeit  persons, 
The  gallows  waits  his  sure  reversions. 

"  Thou  too,  M'Fingal,  ere  that  day, 
Shalt  taste  the  terrors  of  th'  affray. 
See  !  o'er  thee  hangs  in  angry  skies, 
Where  whiggish  constellations  rise, 
And  while  plebeian  signs  ascend, 
Their  mob-inspiring  aspects  bend, 
That  baleful  star,  whose  *  horrid  hair 
Shakes  forth  the  plagues  of  down  and  tar ! 
I  see  the  pole,  that  rears  on  high 
Its  flag  terrific  through  the  sky; 
The  mob  beneath  prepar'd  t'  attack, 
And  tar  predestin'd  for  thy  back! 
Ah  !  quit,  my  friend,  this  dang'rous  home, 


From  his  horrid  hair 


Shakes  peitilence  and  war."  MILTON, 


M'FINGAL.  147 

Nor  wait  the  darker  scenes  to  come  ; 
For  know  that  fate's  auspicious  door, 
Once  shut  to  flight,  is  op'd  no  more, 
Nor  wears  its  hinge  by  various  stations, 
Like  mercy's  door  in  proclamations.* 

"  But  lest  thou  pause,  or  doubt  to  fly, 
To  stranger  visions  turn  thine  eye  : 
Each  cloud  that  dinvm'd  thy  mental  ray, 
And  all  the  mortal  mists  decay; 
See  more  than  human  pow'rs  befriend, 
And  lo,  their  hostile  forms  ascend  ! 
See,  tow'ring  o'er  th'  extended  strand, 
The  genius  of  the  western  land, 
In  vengeance  arm'd,  his  sword  assumes, 
And  stands,  like  tories,  drest  in  plumes. 
See,  o'er  yon  council-seat  with  pride, 
How  freedom  spreads  her  banners  wide  ! 

*  The  door  of  mercy  is  now  open,  and  the  door  of 
mercy  'will  bt  shut,  where  phrases  so  often  used  in 
the  proclamations  of  the  British  generals  in  Ameri 
ca,  that  our  poet  seems  to  fear  that  the  hinge  of 
that  door  will  be  worn  out.  A  general  collection 
of  these  proclamations,  or  an  abridgment  of  them 
comprised  in  a  few  volumes,  would  form  a  curious 
system  of  rhetorical  tactics  ;  which  might  be  of 
great  utility  to  the  French  emigrant  princes,  and  to 
those  potentates  of  Europe,  who  are  going  to  subdue 
the  spirit  of  liberty  in  France. 


148  M'FINGAL. 

There  patriotism  with  torch  address'd, 
To  fire  with  zeal  each  daring  breast ! 
While  all  the  virtues  in  their  band, 
Escape  from  yon  unfriendly  land, 
Desert  their  ancient  British  station, 
Possest  with  rage  of  emigration. 
Honor,  his  business  at  a  stand, 
For  fear  of  starving  quits  the  land; 
And  justice,  long  disgrac'd  at  court,  had 
By  Mansfield's  sentence  been  transported. 
Vict'ry  and  fame  attend  their  way, 
Though  Britain  wish  their  longer  stay, 
Care  not  what  George  or  North  would  be  at, 
Nor  heed  their  writs  of  ne  exeat  ; 
But  fir'd  with  love  of  colonizing, 
Quit  the  fall'n  empire  for  the  rising." 

I  look'd,  and  saw,  with  horror  smitten, 
These  hostile  powers  averse  to  Britain. 
When  lo  !  an  awful  spectre  rose, 
With  languid  paleness  on  his  brows: 
Wan  dropsies  swell'd  his  form  beneath, 
And  ic'd  his  bloated  cheeks  with  death; 
His  tatter'd  robe  expos'd  him  bare, 
To  ev'ry  blast  of  ruder  air; 
On  two  weak  crutches  propp'd  he  stood, 
That  bent  at  ev'ry  step  he  trod  ; 


M'FINGAL, 

Gilt  titles  grac'd  then;  sides  so  slender, 
One,  "  regulation,"  t'other,  "  tender;" 
His  breast-plate  grav'd  with  variqus  dates, 
''The  faith  of  all  th'  United  States:" 
Before  him  went  his  fun'ral  pall ; 
His  grave  stood  dug  to  wait  his  fall. 
I  started,  and  aghast  I  cry'd, 
"  What  means  this  spectre  at  their  side  ? 
What  danger  from  a  pow'r  so  vain, 
And  why  he  joins  that  splendid  train  ?" 

"  Alas  1"  great  Malcolm  cry'd,  "  experience 
Might  teach  you  not  to  trust  appearance. 
Here  stands,  as  drest  by  fierce  Bellona, 
The  ghost  of  continental  money, 
Of  dame  necessity  descended, 
With  whom  credulity  engendered 
Though  born  with  constitution  frail, 
And  feeble  strength  that  soon  must  fail ; 
Yet  strangely  vers'd  in  magic  lore, 
And  gifted  with  transforming  pow'r, 
His  skill  the  wealth  Peruvian  joins 
With  diamonds  of  Brazilian  mines. 
As  erst  Jove  fell,  by  subtle  wiles, 
On  Danae's  apron  through  the  tiles,' 
In  show'rs  of  gold  :  his  potent  hand 
Shall  shed  like  show'rs  through  all  the  land. 
N  2 


ISO  M'FINGAL. 

Less  great  the  magic  art  was  reckon' J, 
Of  tallies  cast  by  Charles  the  Second, 
Or  Law's  fam'd  Missisippi  schemes, 
Or  all  the  wealth  of  South-Sea  dreams. 
For  he,  of  all  the  world  alone, 
Owns  the  long-sought  philos'pher's  stone, 
Restores  the  fab'lous  times  to  view, 
And  proves  the  tale  of  Midas  true. 
O'er  heaps  of  rags  he  waves  his  wand, 
All  turn  to  gold  at  his  command. 
Provide  for  present  wants  and  future, 
Raise  armies,  victual,  clothe  accoutre, 
Adjourn  our  conquests  by  essoigne, 
Check  Howe's  advance,  and  take  Burgoyne, 
Then  make  all  days  of  payment  vain5 
And  turns  all  back  to  rags  again. 
In  vain  great  Howe  shall  play  his  part, 
To  ape  and  counterfeit  his  art ; 
In  vain  shall  Clinton,  more  belated, 
A  conj'rer  turn  to  imitate  it ; 
With  like  ill  luck,  and  pow'r  as  narrow, 
They'll  fare,  like  sorc'rers  of  old  Pharaoh, 
Who,  though  the  art  they  understood, 
*  Of  turning  rivers  into  blood, 
And  caus'd  their  frogs  and  snakes  t*  exist, 
That  with  some  merit  croak'd  and  hiss'd, 
Yet  ne'er,  by  ev'ry  quain.1  device, 


M'riNGAL.  151 

Could  frame  the  true  Mosaic  lice. 
He  for  the  whigs  his  art  shall  try, 
Their  fust,  and  long  their  sole  ally ; 
A  patriot  firm,  while  breath  he  draws, 
He'll  perish  in  his  country's  cause  ; 
And  when  his  magic  labours  cease, 
Lie  bury'd  in  eternal  peace. 

"  Now  view  the  scenes  in  future  hours, 
That  wait  the  fam'd  European  pow'rs. 
See  !  where  yon  chalky  cliffs  arise, 
The  hills  of  Britain  strike  your  eyes : 
Its  small  extension  long  supply'd 
By  vast  immensity  of  pride  ; 
So  small,  that  had  it  found  a  station 
In  this  new  world  at  first  creation, 
Or  were  by  justice  doom'd  to  suffer, 
And  for  its  crimes  transported  over, 
We'd  find  full  room  for't  in  Lake  Erie,  o» 
That  larger  water-pond,  Superior.* 

*  This  supposition,  so 'far  as  it  respects  Lake  Su 
perior,  is  not  exaggerated.  That  lake  is  220® 
miles  in  circumference.  It  is  supposed  by  some, 
that  in  this  passage  the  author  meant  to  ridicule 
the  misfortune  of  lord  North,  in  the  loss  of  hii 
sight.  But  as  this  poem  was  written  and  published, 
word  for  word,  as  in  this  edition,  eeveral  years  be 
fore  that  misfortune  happened,  the  author  must  be 
innocent  of  the  least  design  upon  any  thing  more 


M'FINGAL. 

Where  North,  on  margin  taking  stand, 
Would  not  be  able  to  spy  land. 
No  more,  elate  with  pow'r  at  ease 
She  deals  her  insults  round  the  seas  ; 
See  !  dwindling  from  her  height  amain, 
What  piles  of  ruin  spread  the  plain  ;. 
With  mould'ring  hulks  her  ports  are  fill'd, 
And  brambles  clothe  the  cultured  field  ! 
See,  on  her  cliffs  her  genius  lies, 
His  handkerchief  at  both  his  eyes, 
With  many  a  deep  drawn  sigh  and  groan, 
To  mourn  her  ruin  and  his  own  ! 
While  joyous  Holland,  France  and  Spain, 
With  conquering  navies  rule  the  main, 
And  Russian  banners,  wide  unfurl'd, 
Spread  commerce  round  the  eastern  world. 
And  see  (sight  hateful  and  tormenting) 
Th'  American  empire,  proud  and  vaunting, 
From  anarchy  shall  change  her  crasis, 
And  fix  her  pow'r  on  firmer  basis  ; 
To  glory,  wealth,  and  fame  ascend," 

than  mental  blindness.  There  is  no  allusion  to  any 
other  eyes  in  his  lordship,  than  the  eyes  of  his  un 
derstanding,  which  were  supposed,  by  some  people, 
at  that  time  to  be  wonderfully  dim  ;  especially  when 
considered  as  belonging  to  the  Argus  of  a 
nation* 


M'FINGAL.  IIS 

Her  commerce  rise,  her  realms  extend  ; 
Where  now  the  panther  guards  his  den, 
Her  desart  forests  swarm  with  men, 
Her  cities,  tow'rs  and  columns  rise, 
And  dazzling  temples  meet  the  skies ; 
Her  pines  descending  to  the  main, 
In  triumph  spread  the  wat'ry  plain  ; 
Ride  inland  lakes  with  fav'ring  gales, 
And  crowd  her  ports  with  whit'ning  sails, 
Till  to  the  skirts  of  western  day, 
The  peopled  regions  own  her  sway." 

Thus  far  M'Fingal  told  his  tale, 
When  thund'ring  shouts  his  ears  assail, 
And  straight  a  tory  that  stood  sentry, 
Aghast,  rush'd  headlong  down  the  entry, 
And  with  wild  outcry,  like  magidan, 
Dispersed  the  residue  of  vision  : 
For  now  the  whigs  intelligence  found 
Of  tories  mus.t'ring  under  ground, 
And  with  rude  bangs  and  loud  uproar, 
'Gan  thunder  furious  at  the  door. 
The  lights  put  out,  each  tory  calls,   , 
To  cover  him,  on  cellar  walls, 
Creeps  in  each  box,  or  bin,  or  tub, 
To  hide  his  head  from  wrath  of  mob, 
Or  lurks  where  cabbages  in  row 


154  M'FINGAL. 

Adorn'd  the  side  with  verdant  show  ; 
M'Fingal  deem'd  it  vain  to  stay, 
Arid  risk  his  bones  in  second  fray  ; 
But  chose  a  grand  retreat  from  foes, 
Jn  lit'ral  sense,  beneath  their  nose, 
The  window  then,  which  none  else  knew, 
He  softly' open' d  and  crept  through, 
And  crawling  slow  in  deadly  fear, 
By  movements  wise,  made  good  his  rear; 
Then,  scorning  all  the  fame  of  martyr, 
For  Boston  took  his  swift  departure  : 
Nor  dar'd  look  back  on  fatal  spot, 
More  than  the  family  of  Lot. 
Not  North,  in  more  distressed  condition, 
Out-voted  first  by  opposition  : 
Nor  good  king  George,  when  that  dire  phan 
tom 

Of  independence  comes  to  haunt  him, 
Which  hov'ring  round  by  night  and  day, 
Not  all  his  conj'rers  yet  can  lay. 
His  friends,  assembled  for  his  sake, 
He  wisely  left  in  pawn,  at  stake, 
To  tarring,  feathering,  kicks  and  drubs 
Of  furious,  disappointed  mobs, 
And  with  their  forfeit  hides  to  pay 
For  him,  their  leader  crept  away. 
So  when  wise  Noah  summon'd,  greeting, 


M'FINGAL.  155 

All  animals  to  gen'ral  meeting  ; 
From  ev'ry  side  the  members  sent 
All  kinds  of  beasts  to  represent; 
Each  from  the  flopd  took  care  t'  embark, 
And  save  his  carcase  in  the  ark  ; 
But  as  it  fares  in  state  and  church, 
Left  his  constituents  ;in  the  iirreh. 


FINIS. 


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